Strong Values

On Saturday, October 5, 2024, I officiated Hannah and Ben’s wedding ceremony at Cliff House in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Sometimes these just kind of write themselves, with the lessons the bride and groom teach us well articulated in their own words. This is one of those times. 

Ben says: “I knew that my ideal partner would need to be independent and trusting in me and our relationship. Hannah is all of those things and more. She is an incredibly intelligent, funny, goofy, hardworking, loving, loyal, and passionate person. 

Our relationship is built on trust, and she is secure enough in our relationship and herself that she doesn’t always feel obligated to participate in things with me. Our relationship is both of us, as separate and independent individuals, choosing to combine and build a life together. 

I know that she will be an excellent mother to our children and an amazing life partner to spend the rest of my days with.”

Hannah says: “I desire to marry Ben because we have similar values. We are both traditional in many ways and hold our family and friends as a major priority in our lives. We have built a fantastic community of love surrounding us and share a similar sense of humor. We have a reservoir of silly inside jokes and jabs. 

I know I can rely on him to make decisions for us while considering my input. I trust him to take care of me and my family as well as loving them as if they are his own. Ben is so incredibly intelligent and kind. 

I love listening to him when he is passionate about a new idea. I may have no idea what he is talking about, but I can’t help but smile as he tells me all about it. 

I know he will protect our family and if something happened to me, he would be able to raise our future children in a loving home with strong values.”

Hannah and Ben, thank you for such clear well-articulated lessons. May you live those lessons in your individual lives, as a couple, and as future parents, for many years to come.

Wasabi

Saturday evening, I officiated Ramsey and Lorens’s wedding ceremony, at Sanders Hitch, in Fort Worth, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I ask every person I marry, not only why they want to get married, but why now. Lorens’s answer is, um, interesting: “To me Ramsey is like Wasabi.” This may be the first groom of more than 400 to analogize his bride to a condiment. Stick with him, though. He explains that what he means is that she has a spicy nature, which keeps him on his toes, and “makes things interesting and joyful... Her kindness and genuine heart, and joi de vivre would win any man over.” And then like every good Jew he answers a question with a question, “Why wouldn’t I want to marry her now?”

When I asked Ramsey to write about herself, she did so in a way that very few people do. She wrote in the third person. To me this is very telling. I believe that it says that the person is able to step outside of herself, see the world from others’ points of view, and understand that there is something greater than what meets the eye. That type of thinking is crucial to a successful marriage, because central to marriage is the understanding that it’s not all about you.

Lorens embraced this wise idea early on, and it strengthened inside him, as he matured: “Since I was a kid, I always questioned why things are the way they are... I always enjoyed talking with men of science or of faith – especially Rabbis, trying to figure out why something was the way it was. I always felt the presence of God, but when I went to engineering school, I... had a new-found appreciation of existence.”

It is this shared deep consciousness that moves Ramsey to say, I didn’t seriously date for years because I was sure it was impossible for me to find someone a quarter of the man my dad is. I was lucky enough to find this in Lorens.”

This is why Lorens says, “I always tried to figure out who the right one was... life guided me to the answer I couldn’t have dreamt of.”

We Could Count on Each Other

Saturday evening I officiated Jaclyn and Norman’s wedding ceremony at Marché Bonsecours, in Montreal, Quebec. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Jaclyn and Norm have a very special love story. It begins with a mixture of innocence and what Norm calls "cheekiness". Listen to the how Norm tells it. It starts right outside his apartment. Coming from a family with a family business, you would probably not be surprised that he felt right at home living "above the store", or at least A store:

"The store and my apartment shared a common entrance and it was in that little corridor where I met my future wife. I was jiggling with my keys to get in and this cute girl popped out of the store to greet me. She was wondering what I was doing (not knowing I lived upstairs). When I told her that I was simply going home she asked me if she could run up and see my apartment and instructed me to watch the store – I loved this cheekiness right away."

So, why do I say cheekiness AND innocence? Well, because neither of these two were looking for a mate. They really were just going kind of minding their own business, until this encounter. Listen to Jaclyn's complementary description of their chance meeting, and you'll see what I mean:

"When Norm came into my life it was completely unexpected. There must be some truth in the saying ‘Love happens when you least expect it.' I was not looking for anyone or anything in particular. It was just any other day and I was alone working at a boutique... (Parenthetically, I find it interesting that the one with the non-French name called it a boutique...) It was a Sunday (in the) late afternoon and I was just about to close..." Really innocent, so far, right? Well, the cheekiness is about to come back: "I was not expecting a very tall and handsome young man to walk up to the store. He couldn’t possibly be shopping for costume jewelry. I popped out the door and asked him what he was up to. When he answered that he was on his way up to his apartment I was intrigued because I had no idea that someone was living up there, yet alone that ‘someone’ happened to be a young and charming guy."

This was the beginning of a deep love connection. What do I mean by deep? Well, two things. Listen to Norm describe what might be referred to as the "essence" of his bride: "What I love about Jaclyn is her genuine kindness. She is a wonderful person with a massive heart and she seeks to make those around her happy." And Jaclyn tells us about Norm and how he makes her feel, "I am completely myself when we are together and he understands me more than anyone has. He is also the ultimate life partner- he is patient, supportive, interested, affectionate and always so positive."

The second reason for why I say deep, is that marriage is sometimes somewhat of a gamble, or at least an educated guess. What do I mean by that? Well, typically, a young couple has not had to deal with too much in their lives. So, essentially they bet on the fact that not only will they be able to celebrate in the good times, but also weather the bad times together. That is why the traditional vows say, "in good times and in bad."

Well, no educated guesses needed with these two... Norm recounts the realization they came to together, "[In] that extremely difficult time, we realized how much we could count on each other for support and strength. Moreover, we realized that we could likely get through anything life would eventually throw at us as a team."

I Know How Lucky I Am to Have You

Yesterday (10/10) I officiated Mariella and Josh’s wedding ceremony at Maison Dupuy, in New Orleans, Louisiana. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

One of the first things Mariella and Josh told me was that they wanted their wedding to be personalized and meaningful, and a celebration of them, their family and friends coming together. That is fairly standard. However, they also wanted their ceremony to have a particular emphasis on books and nature as the things that brought them together, and still play a central role in in their togetherness. Not that standard, however, anyone who knows Mariella and Josh, will not be surprised by this at all.

Not surprisingly, how they met is both connected to books and reads like a short story. Here is how Mariella recounts it: “Josh and I met on the blue line train in Chicago. I have been riding this train for 15 years. One day this cute guy sits next to me on the train. I am usually focused on my book, and don't pay attention to my surroundings. But he sits next to me and pulls out a book, Jonathan Strange and Mr. Norrell, which is this amazing historical fantasy about a magician and his protégé, where magic is actually a line of work. It is one of my favorite books, and I was so surprised that this guy in a suit would pull it out. Not exactly the Wall Street Journal. So I just casually said, "That is a really good book, you're going to like it," and… then we talked about Neil Gaiman, whose book I was reading, sort of the same genre, and we started talking about our favorite books. And then he let it drop that he was a writer, and I am too. It was kismet…” As Josh says, in what almost reads like the sub heading of a review of the story: “How’s that for the beginning of a love story?”

Though, “kismet” a Turkish word, derived from the Arabic word “qisma”, which means lot, is taken to mean fate or something preordained, Mariella probably used the word colloquially, not literally. Even so, listen to Josh, a staunch rationalist: “I can’t account exactly for why I was where I was when I met Mariella.” Mysterious, huh?

This reminded me of one of the most beautiful book passages I know in a book about Mariella and Josh’s other shared love, nature, “Unweaving the Rainbow”, by Richard Dawkins. In a scientific tome, you do not expect to find words that read like poetry, but here you are. Mariella and Josh marvel at the good fortune of them, against great statistical odds of the Chicago Transit Authority, having met. Dawkins marvels at each one of us even coming into existence against much greater odds:  “The potential people who could have been here in my place but who will in fact never see the light of day outnumber the sand grains of Arabia. Certainly those unborn ghosts include greater poets than Keats, scientists greater than Newton. We know this because the set of possible people allowed by our DNA so massively outnumbers the set of actual people. In the teeth of these stupefying odds it is you and I, in our ordinariness, that are here. We privileged few, who won the lottery of birth against all odds…”

So, when you incorporate what Dawkins says and what Mariella and Josh say, you arrive at a fascinating idea: When you find that one person that you love, that one person, who in our groom’s words gives you, “woozy magic of the stomach and heart,” and who you also know as our bride says, will love you more than anyone else ever could – then you have won. Having won Dawkins’ lottery of nature, you have now won a second lottery – the lottery of the heart.

That can allow you to embody the words of a song that I was reminded of, when I thought about the wonderful relationship Mariella and Josh have, the story of how they met, and how lucky they are to have each other. Beautiful, by Jim Brickman, alludes, once again, to nature and literature, but also to beauty and love:

From the moment I saw you,

From the moment I looked into your eyes.

There was something about you I knew.

That you were once in a lifetime

A treasure near impossible to find.

I know how lucky I am to have you.

A Wonderful Life Together



Yesterday (9/27) I officiated Allison and Ryan's wedding ceremony, at Castle Hill in Newport, Rhode Island. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Not to emphasize stereotypes too much, but typically you expect the really mushy stuff from the bride. Ryan shows us it need not be so. Manliness need not prevent you from an honest and thorough description of your mutual love:

"Everything about Allison is pure. From the way she says hello to the way she says goodbye, Allison is Allison and not anyone else. She carries herself with such grace... Those of us who are lucky to be around her are comforted by her amazingly beautiful smile that without fail results in... reciprocation... She has a way of shining light on your day no matter if it’s been good or bad.... For the first in my life I can honestly say that I know how it feels to be loved. I say time and time again, I am the luckiest man in the world."

Now, this type of deep love is the foundation for a wonderful marriage. How do you build on that foundation? Allison tells us how:

 "We are two people who will do anything it takes to make our marriage succeed, and we are not naïve about the complications and heartache that touch even the most pristine of marriages. We are ready, we are eager, and we are committed to joining ourselves for our time on this earth. Ryan is the best decision I will ever make."

So, Allison tells us, the best way to build a successful marriage is to recognize your deep love as an essential foundation, but not sufficient in and of itself. You have to be ready, eager and committed to continuing to do the work necessary and never stop doing it. When you do, you can like Ryan, clearly say, "I know we are going to have a wonderful life together. I know our family will be secure and whole. I know all of this because I know Allison."

Fulfill Your Potential

Last night, Saturday 3/23, I co-officiated Alicia and Adam's wedding with the bride's uncle, Dr. Paul Silvestri, at the Petroleum Club in Houston, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:



When I sat down to write these remarks, and thought of Alicia and Adam, I remembered a story I once heard about a great rabbi, who lived in the 18th century. The rabbi's name was Rabbi Zusha of Anipoli. Rabbi Zusha was speaking to his students, and he said that when he came before God, he knew God would probably ask him some questions. He said that if God said to him, "Zusha, why weren't you Moses?" (In other words, why did you not live up to the potential of Moses), he could easily say, "God, you didn't make me with Moses' potential." "However," Rabbi Zusha said, "If God says to me, 'Zusha, why weren't you Zusha (In other words, why did you not live up to your OWN potential)?' now that will be a worthy question..."

Now, why did thinking about Alicia and Adam remind me of this story? Well, because though they are relatively young, one of the things that struck me about them is how answering this question, in the here and now, has been implicitly important to them. These two as individuals and as a couple have lived lives, where they constantly strive to better themselves and truly live up to their potential. From excelling at sports, to scholastic achievement to professional prowess, these two have never settled. They have truly tried to fulfill their potential.

Now there is a question that Rabbi Zusha does not explicitly address, and that is, how do you know what your potential is, and where it lies? I think that if you analyze the way that Alicia and Adam have lived there lives, once again, they provide a cogent answer. You need to be unafraid to try new things, you need to think outside the box, you even need to make some mistakes. Like Alicia and Adam, you have to be self aware, live an introspective life, and strive to become a better person in the process.

Alicia and Adam, as you enter into married life, what we wish for you is simple. Continue to live your lives in just this fashion, and fulfill your potential.

Making Your Differences Work for You

This last weekend I officiated my 150th wedding! Vanessa and Andy married at the Westin at the Galleria in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

One of the first things I ask every couple, when I first meet with them, is to tell me about themselves. I usually say something along these lines, actually, "Tell me about yourselves, Vanessa pre-Andy, Andy pre-Vanessa, how you met, and what happened since." This is probably the first time a couple said that the "pre" meeting each other phase was rather short, since they met, when they were 6 and 9 respectively. Talk about taking your time to get to know each other, before getting married!

Seriously, though, these two individuals have such a unique and special love that comes from a deep and intimate knowledge of each other. As Andy says about Vanessa, "Vanessa is one of the few people in this world that truly knows me (probably better than anyone at this point), and, better yet, one of fewer that truly knows me AND loves me still."

Now, the last part of what he says may be in jest, but really that is what true love is all about. Each of us has our strengths and our weaknesses. Each of us has our similarities and our differences. True love does not mean that we ignore that. It means we acknowledge it, and make it work in our favor, towards fulfilling our collective goals and dreams. As Vanessa says about her relationship with Andy, "We are both similar and different in so many ways, and our differences truly complement one another. We share many of the same values, have many of the same goals, and fully support one another in achieving our dreams!"

It is that perspective that causes Andy to say, "I cannot wait to continue growing and experiencing all that our relationship and life has to offer," and Vanessa to say, "He is my perfect partner in this journey we call life, and I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with him!" Well, friends, I am not one to argue with a bride and groom at their wedding, so if they both can't wait, I shouldn't either, so off we go to the vows!

The Rabbi and the Elephant: How I Officiated a Cosmopolitan Interfaith Wedding in Thailand

With guests from Australia, France, Germany, Italy, Russia, Thailand and the U.S. present, Nad and Alex's wedding was easily one of the most cosmopolitan I had ever officiated. With a fairly traditional inclusive Jewish ceremony, bookended by Thai customs, it was definitely one of the most intercultural. Throw in the fact that I was upstaged by an elephant, and you have the backdrop for a great story!

While one might think that the coupling of a Russian Jew and a Thai Buddhist might be a challenge, this bride and groom showed that it need not be so. This may just be because the bride, Nad (short for Nadusa), and the groom, Alex, who live in Australia, are true citizens of the world. Nad was born in Thailand, but grew up mainly in Australia and Europe, due to her father's work for Royal Thai Airways. She was schooled in an international school in Paris, and is fluent in (standard American accented) English, French, German and Thai. Alex was born in Russia, and he grew up there and (from age 15) in the U.S. He trained as a radiologist at Harvard, and practices a specific type of medicine that embodies the global village we live in. If you ever have an x-ray done in the middle of the night, you may wonder where on earth they find a radiologist to read it. Well, on the bottom part of the earth, that is where! It may, in fact, be Alex, a "nighthawk" radiologist, who by virtue of being in a very different time zone, will, during what is day for him, get a report back to your stateside doctor. Nad also (naturally) works for an international corporation.

The couple reflects a cosmopolitan life not only in their upbringing, their professional lives and their personal day to day lives, but also in their philosophy of living. They are both very proud of their cultural heritages, but in terms of actual religious beliefs are much more humanistic in their leanings. They wanted their ceremony to reflect this, and their idea of how it would was to have a fairly traditional, while inclusive, Jewish ceremony, with Thai customs before and after it. For the location, they chose Koh Samui, a small picturesque island in the southern part of Thailand.

Their exciting beachside ceremony began with the sound of the beating of a gong and drums and men we could not yet see, shouting in Thai, "Here we come, we are here," as they drew closer. The first thing we then saw was four ornately and traditionally dressed young Thai women, swaying slowly as they processed. We then saw the men we had heard before, followed by the "guest of honor" - a baby elephant! The elephant was decorated with ornate jewelry and was dancing too. They brought in the groom, and sat him next to the bride. One of the men then set up a xylophone, and the four women danced to its music an elaborate synchronized dance in front of the bride and groom. They ended by spreading before them a bed of rose petals in perfect synchronization.

I then officiated the Jewish portion of the ceremony under a lovely chuppah (Jewish wedding canopy) on the beach. They exchanged heartfelt vows and rings, and shared a cup of wine. They signed an attractive ketubah (ceremonial Jewish marriage contract) written in Hebrew, English and Thai. (Nad's mom, a professional translator, helped with the translation.) I then blessed them with the Priestly Blessing, which is the most ancient copy of scripture archeologists have found in Israel. I explained how our forefathers, those who gave us the Torah, imagined my mythic ancestor, the first high priest, Aaron, brother of Moses, blessing the Children of Israel with these very words. I love reciting this blessing in a third language (aside from Hebrew and English) when appropriate. In fact, I have blessed couples in Spanish (I do live in Tejas, after all), French, Arabic and Bulgarian. This time I used four languages, as I blessed Nad and Alex with the words of my great ancestor and theirs in Hebrew, English, Russian and Thai.

After the Jewish portion of the ceremony, we observed more Thai customs. We all got to feed the baby elephant. This "baby" ate whole clusters of bananas and watermelon quarters. The elephant also danced some more while playing the harmonica. (Seriously.) In Thai culture the elephant is the symbol of the king, and therefore in a broader sense is used to symbolize the nation and its happiness. Nad and Alex then planted a small "love tree" together, and raised a "marriage flag" on a tall staff. The final Thai custom was most interesting. Guests were invited to light small paper-covered lanterns. Once lit, by the virtue of the hot air inside, these rose far into the air, till they looked like far away stars. Each guest was encouraged to make a wish upon these stars for the good fortune of the bride and groom.

During my personal remarks, I talked about what a wonderful lesson the bride and groom taught us, in bringing us all together on that magical island. They showed us that people from different countries, cultures and religions can come together, enjoy each other's company and cultures, and make this seem effortless. Hopefully, I said, the whole world will learn Nad and Alex's lesson too. And, if they need an elephant to help make this happen, consider it done...

Where There is Love There is Life: A Hin-Jew Wedding in Texas

One of the most unique weddings I have officiated was Shreeti and Jon's. I co-officiated with Shreeti's family's lay pundit (Hindu priest), Jaysurya ("Jay") Upadhyaya. It was fascinating to see how these two faiths, one Western and one Eastern, came together in one ceremony, and how many parallels exist between the wedding rituals of both.

The ceremony began at the entrance, with Shreeti's mother waving a wand over Jon to cast away spirits. This Hindu tradition is similar to the Jewish tradition of beginning the ceremony with the bride and groom's mothers leading the bride around the groom to similarly protect him. In accordance with Hindu tradition, Jon then broke a clay pot to symbolically remove any obstacles to the marriage.

The ceremony itself was held under a mandap, a Hindu ceremonial canopy that turns the whole area under it into a symbolic altar. This served also as the Jewish chuppah, which symbolizes the bride and groom's new home. Interestingly, both faiths center around the home, rather than the house of worship, which means that home and altar are very much one and the same.

At various points during the Hindu portions of the ceremony, people made offerings to different deities. This usually involves Sanskrit chanting by the pundit, the tossing of the offering into fire and the marking of the body with paste. These are very important parts of the ceremony, as the favor of the deities is seen as central to a life of happiness for the new family being created under the mandap. The Jewish portions of the ceremony do not involve offerings, but do involve the chanting of blessings in Hebrew. I opened the Jewish part of the ceremony with traditional, welcoming blessings and towards the end blessed the couple with the Priestly Blessing.

In a Jewish wedding, parents and loved ones are brought under the chuppah with the bride and groom. This is true of a Hindu wedding too. Shreeti's parents spent part of the ceremony under the mandap, made an offering and even washed Shreeti and Jon's feet, beseeching him to treat their daughter as an equal partner. Later in the ceremony, family members from both sides, including Jon's parents, joined Shreeti and Jon under the mandap, and made offerings, which the couple, circling a small altar four times, threw into the fire. The circling symbolizes the couple's commitment to remaining true to one's values, providing for the family, obtaining fulfillment and achieving enlightenment. Every time they circled the altar, siblings and cousins, who had surrounded the mandap, pelted them with flower petals. Later, after the ceremony, with their families once again surrounding them, the couple would sign the Jewish ketubah, a document where they would commit themselves to essentially the same ideals celebrated while ringing the altar.

One of the most striking resemblances between the wedding traditions of both faiths is the centrality of the number seven. The Hindu tradition has the Satapadi or Seven Vows, and the Jewish tradition has the Seven Blessings. Jon laid Shreeti's big toe on each of seven decorated shells respectively, while Jay chanted the Satapadi, swearing the couple to live with honor and respect, be happy, share in all, not forget their elders, be charitable, be peaceful and love and sacrifice for each other. I followed with the chanting of the Seven Blessings, which celebrate creation in general, creation of man, creation of woman, the hope of return to Zion and the love and happiness of the bride and groom and their loved ones.

Both traditions include the bride and groom sharing sweet food (in Hinduism) or sweet wine (in Judaism) to symbolize everyone's prayer that the couple will enjoy a sweet life together. Shreeti and Jon shared candy and dried fruit, in accordance with the Hindu tradition.

Jon then put a necklace on Shreeti's neck, the Hindu equivalent to putting a ring on his bride's finger. (Both faiths, being in their traditional form patriarchal, have the groom putting the jewelry on the bride and not vice versa.) Shreeti and Jon then read very meaningful vows they wrote, after which they exchanged rings, reciting (in Hebrew and in English) the traditional Jewish consecration formula, as well as a verse from the Song of Songs.

After I declared them husband and wife, Jon ended the ceremony, just as he started it – by breaking something. This time, in accordance with Jewish tradition, he broke a glass. I explained it as symbolizing the breaking down of barriers between different cultures and faiths – a very fitting explanation for this wedding.

How did Shreeti and Jon, coming from traditions, far apart geographically and theologically, "pull off" such a seamless ceremony, where it was well evident that all present felt so validated and comfortable? They communicated their plans to their families, and sought their feedback. Their parents gave them honest and considerate feedback while respecting the couple's wishes. Shreeti and Jon chose officiants who were open to learning about each other's faiths and communicated well themselves. These officiants were keen on making the various parts of the ceremony mesh well together. Most importantly, while each family expressed their wishes to observe various rituals from their respective traditions, it seemed like they were even more careful to make sure that the other side's wishes were being met.

It was really heart-warming to observe how concerned these people were regarding each other's feelings. It has been said that true love means caring about your loved one's feelings, as you much as you care about yours. This couple, their families and all involved showed this type of love, and as Mahatma Gandhi once said, "Where there is love, there is life!"


The bride and groom under the mandap, which also served as the chuppah. (Photo Courtesy of Chavvon & Larissa Photography - www.chavvon.com)

© Copyright 2011 – Rabbi David S. Gruber – All Rights Reserved. This article was first published on www.interfaithfamily.com

You Make Me Whole. Being With You is Simply Divine…

This past Saturday I was privileged to officiate the wedding of Jessica and Matthew in Ludlow, Massachusetts. Ludlow is a fascinating New England town, where about 50% of the residents are Portuguese, and that language is quite prevalent on the street. I co-officiated with Father Vitor Oliveira at Our Lady of Fatima Church, which has one of the most ornate sanctuaries I have ever seen. The centerpiece, if you will, is a spectacular mosaic mural of the woman (as a young girl and as an elderly nun), who Catholics believe had visions of the Virgin Mary in Fatima, Portugal about a century ago. Here are the personal remarks I shared with the couple. (One little bit of information you need to understand the remarks is the bride’s family name – Vital.)

During the process of preparing for a wedding, I have every person I officiate for write a short autobiographical essay. This helps me get to know the couple, and really personalize my remarks. What struck me in the essays this couple wrote is the idea they share the feeling that they were made for each other. Jessica writes, “When it comes to marriage, I am a firm believer that every individual has another person on this planet that they are meant to be with.” Matthew writes similarly, “I feel like when I was born someone upstairs cut out a 5’7 smart, funny, down to earth beauty just for me.”

Now, I have not known the couple for long, but that made me scratch my head for a second. I mean, after all, these are two very different people. If all you knew was just what they did for a living, you would know that already. One is a pharmacist, and one an advertising executive. These are two strikingly different professions, that demand very different types of thinking and operation. Throw in the differences in background, culture and faith, and the question just increases. What is the secret of their love?

Then I thought about it in a deeper fashion, and it all made sense to me. If we are to imagine that there is someone out there that would be made just for us, why on earth would that person be like us? After all, each of us has strengths and weaknesses, and if anything, that person, who is made for us, ideally should help us, as we help them become mutually complete. In that sense, that person would almost have to be very different.

A very interesting subset of mystical Jewish Thought takes this further – the teachings of Rabbi Isaac Luria. The chief expounder of these ideas was, Rabbi Chayim Vital, who lived in the 16th Century, and who, you really can’t make this stuff up, also wrote a book about pharmaceutical remedies of his day! Rabbi Vital’s mystical teachings talk about everything in our world emanating from, coming from within the deity. Therefore, if there are males and females in our world, the deity itself is made up of these different male and female aspects. If there are different qualities in different people, they all emanate from within the deity, and come together as one within the deity. When we, in turn, find that special someone, who is our counterpart, that soul mate who makes us complete, we become in a sense, Godly, divine.

So, Jessica and Matthew, thank you. Thank you for reminding us just how special it is to find that soul mate who makes each of us truly complete. Hold on to that. Now look into each other’s eyes. As the years go by, make sure you take a moment here and there to stop and look into each other’s eyes like you are now, and wherever you are, whatever is going on in your life, say to yourself, say to each other, “You make me whole. Being with you is quite simply divine.”