Felt Safe

On Saturday, June 21, 2025, I officiated Anjali and Bobby’s wedding ceremony at the Four Seasons in Mexico City, Mexico. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Anjali and Bobby met through working at the same hospital. For five years their interactions were purely professional. Anjali liked what she saw: “I noticed early on he was quite shy and reserved but had a distinctly kind and genuine way about him. He wasn’t like most surgeons. There was no ego, he was not demanding and was quite respectful and understanding of some of the difficult decisions we often have to make in the OR. That alone is the way to an Anesthesiologists heart!”

Now how exactly they became a couple, I will leave that to Anjali and Bobby to fill you in on, but I will say it is one of those times when mothers know best.

Bobby describes the initial part of their relationship from his vantage point: “The first time we spent time with each other outside of work, it was like something clicked. She was easy to talk to, the conversation flowed, our senses of humor matched. I felt safe around her. I could be myself. The more I learned about her I saw that she is kind and caring. She has a generous spirit. She is thoughtful and introspective, something I value most.”

Anjali tells us what makes this relationship work: “Bobby, over the years, has exhibited the attributes that I have always hoped to find in a partner—he is kind, compassionate, patient, and loving. There is not a day in the past five years that I have not felt valued and truly understood, which is such a rare and precious feeling. The most important thing to me, though, is that he allows me to be myself. With him, I feel completely comfortable and accepted, without any pressure to be anything other than who I am. His love and support help me grow into the best version of myself, and I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.”

Bobby agrees: “Anajali brings out the better parts of me. We complement each other's strengths. We listen to each other and are able to compromise. We encourage each other, we make decisions together, and we are able to give and take constructive criticism. We have known each other long enough to be sure that what we have is a real commitment. Now we want to make the commitment official, and share it with our family and friends.”

Yahtzee!

On May 31, 2025, I officiated Kate and Josh’s wedding ceremony at the Pfister Hotel in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

When Kate was a child, she cut her sister Caroline’s hair off while playing pretend wedding, much to her mother’s dismay. Kate joked, “Caroline made a very good groom for a day, but I’m far more excited for my new and real groom, Joshua!”

In fact, humor has been a constant in Kate and Josh’s relationship from the start with Josh’s goofy dating app profile proudly stating, “Dad jokes are the best jokes.” 

Josh recounted to me: “We had our first date in a bar. I can still see her walking into the bar, praying it was her, and knowing without a doubt it was.” Along with the romance, there was a humorous aspect to this first encounter too. Kate and Josh had both lied about their heights with Josh adding an inch and Kate subtracting an inch.

Their shared sense of humor was even key to their relationship winning family approval. When Kate met Josh’s parents and brother Alex at the Met, Kate and Josh made puns back and forth the whole time, cracking each other up and making Josh’s family constantly roll their eyes. Josh’s parents said they knew Kate was the one for Josh because they had the same silly sense of humor. In turn, when Josh visited Kate’s family for the first time, he was a good sport regarding all the pranks they pulled on him.

Humor even factored into expressing their feelings for each other. One Sunday they were trying to figure out what game to play and Kate said, “I love Yahtzee!” Josh mistakenly heard, “I love you!” and was shocked, as they had not been together for long. Neither of them were quite ready to declare their love, but from then on they would say Yahtzee to each other in intimate moments. 

Later that year, Kate and Josh had gone to see a musical and ended up at a 24-hour diner. Kate looked at Josh all dressed up and started crying because she loved him so much. Kate said Yahtzee and Josh told Kate he loved her. They will never forget that sweet moment.

Since then, Kate and Josh have gone on many laughter-filled adventures and created a home filled with love and their adorable puppy, Lulu. 

Kate and Josh, what a sweet tale. What we wish for you is that you continue to share your humor and your love, and that it always feel as fresh as it did that night in the 24-hour diner. 

With that, let’s move on to your vows. Yahtzee!

And Here They Stand

On Saturday, May 10, 2025, I officiated Alyse and Aaron’s wedding ceremony at the Dallas Arboretum (Jonsson Family Color Garden) in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Aaron uses very interesting language when he describes what happened when they got together: “I felt at ease with her almost immediately...” Hearing this, I couldn’t help but think of the words of Sarah McLachlan, “Loving you is easy, loving you is wondrous and pure.” If you know Alyse and Aaron, you know this speaks to their mutual love. 

Alyse, in words that Aaron could have written too, describes what this relationship has done for both of them: “I didn’t realize how much better everything would be when I got to do it with Aaron. I am so grateful we met as soon as we did, because now no amount of time feels like it could ever be enough.” Again, Sarah McLachlan’s words speak to this: “Oh the fury of desire, you burn so bright, electrify, you light me up, you take me higher.”

One of the best aspects of Alyse and Aaron’s relationship is their differences and how they have dealt with their differences. Not only do these differences between them not hurt their relationship. They enhance it. 

Aaron says: “We make each other better people. We have different skill sets, but we complement each other… Being with Alyse gives me a drive and sense of purpose that was missing.” This might be the most important thing we can do for each other. After all, as the Stoics remind us, though we mostly concern ourselves with health, wealth, and reputation, the only thing we really have control over is our virtue and the sense of purpose that our virtue can impart on us. 

Alyse sums it up: “I always said I would only marry someone if they were TRULY perfect for me…”

And here they stand.

That Deep Love

On Sunday, May 4, 2025, I officiated Kat and Billy’s wedding ceremony at Silo & Oak in Temple, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Kat says, “Billy and I met on May 5, 2023, after many close calls,” which sounds vaguely ominous, but I don’t think she meant it that way. 

Kat continues: “He was friends with my brother since 2018, and I would always hear the name ‘Lux’. Billy had… visited my parents’ house a few times… when I wasn’t around… I was looking forward to finally meeting Lux just to put a face to his name… Billy walked in, and his presence instantly attracted me. He engaged in a conversation with my dad… As he was about to leave, he asked me about the Cuban coffee I was preparing for myself and that became a two-hour conversation. I didn’t think much of it as I didn’t know his relationship status and he was stationed in Texas.”

Billy picks up the story from there: “In 2023, I took leave from flight school and went back to Miami for a graduation. While there I bought a truck and asked a friend to leave it at my house. That single event changed the course of my life. That night I met his sister and after hours of conversation, we both knew something was there.”

Billy continues: “Kat came to explore Austin and met me as her guide. I was showing her the Tanakh, the Hebrew Scriptures… I opened a random page as we discussed it and saw this verse: 

בִּטְח֘וּ־ב֤וֹ בְכׇל־עֵ֨ת ׀ עָ֗ם שִׁפְכֽוּ־לְפָנָ֥יו לְבַבְכֶ֑ם אֱלֹהִ֖ים מַחֲסֶה־לָּ֣נוּ סֶֽלָה׃”

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts before Him; God is our refuge.” 

I viewed it as a sign from above and took a leap of faith. Ever since that leap, we have both had a stronger connection than we could ever imagine.” Kat confirms: “I arrived to Texas as a single woman and left Texas in a relationship.”

Kat and Billy’s ethical spiritual beliefs are complementary. Billy says, “I try to live my life by my simple summation of the 10 commandments of ‘Don’t be an a**hole’. Everything I do, I try to do with consideration to not negatively impact anyone around me.” 

This is, in fact, the way the Ancient Rabbis discuss the Golden Rule. While Jesus uses the positive, do unto others as you would like done unto you, the Rabbis say, what you do not like done to you, do not do to others.

There is an important prerequisite to this, though. What if you don’t really like yourself? You might not care what people do to you, and thus your behavior towards others might suffer. This idea has been central to Kat’s thinking. She says, short and sweet: “Before I dedicated myself to any religion, I made sure I had a good relationship with myself.”

Kat and Billy, may you both continue to love yourselves love each other, and love others. May your conduct, in good times and in bad, emanate from that deep love.

Caring Nature

On Saturday, May 3, 2025, I officiated Alyssa and Steven’s wedding ceremony at the Westin Dallas Downtown in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Alyssa and Steven’s story goes back years to when they met at the University of Kansas. (Go Jayhawks!) In fact, they were really just good friends for a while before their relationship took a romantic turn.

There is, however, one more recent story, emblematic of their entire relationship that shows that this relationship is special and that they have it made. In fact, this story is reminiscent of a story told about Rabbi Aryeh Levin, nicknamed Hatzadik Hayerushalmi, the Righteous Man of Jerusalem. 

One day Rabbi Aryeh and his wife showed up at the doctor’s office, and the doctor asked what was wrong. The rabbi replied, and this works much better in Hebrew, “We feel pain in my wife’s leg.” Note the exact phrasing; not “My wife feels pain in her leg.” WE feel pain. Rabbi Aryeh’s love for his wife was so great that he felt pain when she felt pain.

No one should have been surprised to hear this from Rabbi Aryeh because this was his general approach to humanity, in general. He was a selfless and caring man. It was no wonder that his approach to his wife would be such.

Steven says of Alyssa that she fits that bill: “I don’t think there is anyone that is more selfless and caring than Alyssa. Even when it makes no sense to me, she will put anyone else first, always lending a hand or making sure other people are taken care of. This is such an important trait for a person to have, and she embodies it to a T.”

And Alyssa tells the story I teased earlier: “One night recently, I cut my finger on a knife pretty bad when I was doing the dishes. He jumped to action to help wrap it up and stop the bleeding. He dropped everything. That night laying in bed, he started crying after I told him how bad my finger hurts. When I asked why he was crying, he told me “Because he I hate not being able to make it better for you. I don’t want you in pain.”

Alyssa and Steven, thank you for this important lesson about true love. May your caring nature for each other and others continue to manifest itself throughout your marriage.

The Power of Serendipity

On Saturday, March 29, 2025, I officiated Taylor and Blake’s wedding ceremony at the Thompson Hotel in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Taylor and Blake’s relationship is emblematic of the power of serendipity, and the importance of seizing the opportunity that serendipity gives you.

Their meeting each other is like something out of a movie, and good one at that. Blake says: “Taylor and I met in Chicago about three years after we both moved to the city. It happened to be the first night I moved into my new apartment in West Loop. I wasn’t planning on going out that night after all day of moving, but my friends invited me to dinner and insisted I join. I decided I had earned a drink after the big move and should go out to celebrate. 

Little did I know, a few hours later I would be walking into a bar called Clover. As I walked in, I locked eyes with a beautiful brunette who was sitting with a few people at a table near the entrance. I walked up to her, and without hesitation, said ‘I like your energy.’ Mind you, this wasn’t some line I used routinely when I went out. I had actually never said it before. But knowing Taylor as I do now, I can see why my senses picked up on it. 

Luckily the line didn’t send her running for the door or cause her to tell me to get lost. The truth is, she replied back with a smile and said, ‘Meet me by the pool table.’ After getting a drink, I caught her eye as she was chatting with her friend, somewhat by the pool table. It was close enough that I decided to take her up on the offer. I walked over, introduced myself, and just like that, we were chatting away. The rest, as they say, is history.”

Taylor further underlines the serendipitous nature of their meeting. She says: “I wasn’t even supposed to be out that night, but a friend convinced me to grab a last-minute concert ticket. The bar—Clover—was our last stop of the evening. As I stood at the bar with my friends, a group of guys walked by, one of them being Blake. He looked right at me and said, ‘I like your energy.’ And for reasons I’ll never quite understand, I responded with, ‘Meet me by the pool table...’ 

Eventually, we did end up by the pool table, where Blake proceeded to annihilate me at the game. I was drawn to his confidence and enjoyed our playful banter, especially the part where I told him he really should’ve let me win. For the record, I’m still waiting for him to throw me a bone.”

Taylor picks up the story after that fateful night: “We didn’t have our first official date until two weeks later. He canceled the first one, claiming he was ‘sick,’ and naturally, I thought I’d been blown off. But nope—turns out he was actually sick, not just avoiding me. When we finally did get together, it was like a light switch flipped—we were off to the races and never looked back.”

Blake agrees and emphasizes that that initial connection has just strengthened: “We just had an instant connection that left me wanting more. And to this day, whether it's returning from a few hours golfing on the weekend or a weeklong work trip, when I get home and see her face, it brings me happiness. I feel at home with her, no matter where we are.”

The logical next step – marriage. As Taylor says, “I’m ready to marry Blake now because I feel confident in who I am and what I want out of life. I know without a doubt, Blake will be a great partner in life through the good and bad.”

And Blake agrees: “When I realized I was lucky enough to have found such a partner, it was really just a matter of time until I decided to make that permanent commitment. And so I’m excited and ready at this point in my life to take her hand and be able to call her my wife.”

In Praise of Truancy

On Friday, March 7, 2025, I officiated Juliana and Sacha’s wedding ceremony at the Marigny Opera House in New Orleans, Louisiana. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I don’t think I have begun these remarks with this type of statement before: Juliana and Sacha’s love story speaks to the benefits of truancy. I see the raised eyebrows. Stay with me. It will make sense in a moment. 

Sacha says, “In the fall semester of my sophomore year of college in 2014 is where I met my wife Julz. Every Thursday, one of my classes had a film screening on a culturally classic film. I would skip this class quite often to play some soccer with my friends in the Boston Gardens. During one of these sessions, a friend of ours said he invited this cool chick he met during one of his classes. When going down the path to the Gardens, I saw Julz…” 

Juliana speaks to the magic of that moment: “Sacha does not believe me but I swear it was love at first sight for me, when I saw him I immediately was drawn to him. From that moment I showed my interest in him, we became closer friends and long story short we got together at 19 and never looked back.”

The impression they made on each other was mutual. Sacha says, “One of the first things I noticed was her smile. I decided to sit out playing soccer and just sit down with her and her friends. We hit it off immediately and instantly loved her energy, I found myself wanting to be around her all the time. At one point, she didn’t have her phone for a week and I stopped by her room almost everyday to see if she was there and if not, I would leave her a post it note.”

From the beginning, her relationship with Sacha had a profound effect on Juliana and helped her find herself. She says: “I began college a semester later than Sacha, so I entered my freshmen year still searching for my friend group where I would fit in and have the space to discover and be my true authentic self. I took a semester off to rediscover who I was after high school, that semester off and my first semester at Emerson was a pivotal year of discovering who I wanted to be. I met Sacha my second semester of college and at that time I was feeling confident in who I was and proud of the work I have done. Meeting Sacha felt like a gift given to me for that journey and he solidified that dream of the woman I was becoming.”

That sense of mutual growth and self-actualization has never stopped. In that sense, this moment is a capstone to their love story. Juliana says: “Being with Sacha since I was 19 meant we have had many life moments together and grew together. We always knew we would get married and now getting closer to 30 we felt that it was time to celebrate all those years of love together and enter true adulthood to plan the rest of our lives.”

Sacha agrees: “We have now been together for over ten years and it's again another joyous chapter of my life. After being together for a third of our lives, getting to an age where adulthood felt cemented, it made sense to take the next step into our relationship; making it official not just in the eyes of the law, but through a joyful and spiritual celebration of our union with all of our friends and family. Ten years is quite an achievement and celebrating our love feels natural to us.”

Shared Values

On Tuesday, December 31, 2024, Reverend Heather Mustain and I co-officiated Hannah and Chase’s wedding ceremony at the Las Colinas Country Club in Irving, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

How this relationship came to be is almost out of a rom com, which if you think about it is very apt for a New Year’s Eve wedding, New Year’s being all about new beginnings. 

Hannah and Chase were set up by Chase's cousin, Amber Leigh, who is Cash's mom. As Chase was moving back to Dallas, Amber Leigh thought he needed a girlfriend and had the perfect match in mind: Hannah. They hit it off over the phone, talking for weeks with effortless, long conversations, eagerly awaiting the chance to meet in person.

Hannah says, “I remember picking Chase up from the airport on our first date and being so nervous. The moment I saw him, I thought he was such a cutie. I loved that our outfits matched! It felt like we were already in sync!”

Chase says, “When I walked out of security, I saw the most joyful, and beautiful girl who ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug. I knew this was going somewhere… it didn't take me long to figure it out.”

What Hannah and Chase really teach us, though, is what matters spiritually in a relationship. Shared values are paramount.

Chase says, “I believe how people live and treat others is more important than the specific religion they follow. I value personal responsibility, integrity, and how one impacts the world around them. I align with the idea that morality, kindness, and purpose are universal values that transcend religious labels. Both in this life and after, is shaped by the character we build through daily actions.”

Hannah agrees: “My spiritual journey has been a tapestry of exploration and self-discovery. Growing up in a household that valued both tradition and open-mindedness, I was encouraged to ask questions and seek my own understanding of faith…

Respecting others and striving to be good people are core beliefs that we both hold dear. We believe in treating others with kindness and respect, and this shared value has created a harmonious and loving environment in our relationship.” 

Thank you, Hannah and Chase, for inspiring us not only in the wonderful way you met and began your relationship, but more importantly in how you live your lives, as individuals and as a couple.

Endlessly Grateful

On Friday, December 20, 2024, I officiated Jessica and Stephen’s wedding ceremony at the 4 Eleven in Fort Worth, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Jessica and Stephen teach us two important lessons, the power of good fortune, the good fortune they found in meeting each other, and the importance of a concrete foundation of friendship in the life of every romantic couple, a foundation they carefully cultivated at the beginning of their relationship.

Stephen describes the genesis of their relationship: “In August of 2022, Jessica came in to interview for a bartender position at the bar I was managing. We quickly became friends, though initially, I wasn’t ready for a romantic relationship… Fortunately, Jessica was patient, and we built a solid foundation of friendship over the next several months.” 

Jessica describes how they built that solid foundation: “We went on platonic dates, to the State Fair of Texas (where he assumed I knew my way around—I didn’t, and he would unintentionally lose me around corners), to concerts, where I assumed the role of passenger princess and requested unnecessary stops at In ‘N Out, to taking me out to lunch at Enchiladas Ole, when my cat (PB) was sick, and he knew I was at home worrying my head off, to then helping me chase said sick cat around my apartment because of a mandatory IV drip that had to be given because even the vet could not wrangle her. We bonded over shared experiences and small moments, and he made me laugh with his sense of humor. He also became a formidable foe in Wordle and remains one today.”

Jessica also describes what changed their relationship: “On Christmas Eve, 2022, my flight to visit my best friend was canceled due to an airline debacle, and Stephen invited me to spend the holiday with his family. Their warmth and hospitality were unforgettable, and that night marked a turning point in our relationship.”

Stephen confirms this, when he says, “We eventually started dating in February 2023. We moved in together shortly after.” And he adds, “It didn’t take long to know that I wanted to marry Jessica. By the time I was 35, I had a clear understanding of what I wanted in life, and she checked all the boxes… I knew that she was the one for me. In the spring of 2024, I proposed to her… I’m still not sure what I did to deserve so much love from such an amazing person, but I’m not going to question it.”

Jessica reflects this sentiment right back to Stephen: “Life hasn’t always been easy, but the challenges I’ve faced have shaped me into the person I am today… Meeting Stephen feels like a culmination of everything I’ve learned about love, resilience, and self-discovery. He came into my life at precisely the right time, and together, we’re building a future that feels hopeful and full of possibility… I am endlessly grateful…”.

Listen to Your Heart

On Saturday, December 7, 2024, I officiated Brielle and Jared’s wedding ceremony at Rancho Luna Escondido in San Miguel de Allende, México. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Brielle describes the genesis of their relationship: “A little more than three years ago, my life took a turn for the better when I swiped right on Bumble and Jared, and I matched. As a huge fan of reality TV, particularly Bravo shows, I was immediately drawn to his profile when I saw that he shared this interest. We both were not great at responding on the apps, and Jared gave me his number to text.” 

Jared picks up the story from there: “When Brielle and I first started talking, I noticed she ended every sentence with at least one exclamation mark—sometimes up to five or six. I was struck by how upbeat and happy she seemed, even through text. I wouldn’t describe myself as the most cheerful person, so interacting with someone so genuinely positive was captivating. I later realized that this was her natural demeanor—she's truly one of the happiest people I've ever met.”

Their first date almost didn’t happen. Brielle says, “We started to text and tried to arrange a date. Jared had to reschedule our date…twice and even suggested that I could opt out if I wished. I joked and said, ‘Wow, already trying to get out of meeting me.’ As I joked, I figured why not try once more. Something in my gut told me to meet him, and I am grateful I followed that instinct.”

Following that instinct truly paid off. As Jared says, “Brielle and I have spent the last three years building a life together, sharing incredible highs and navigating serious lows... Throughout it all, we've been each other’s support system, confidant, cheerleader, and best friend. I truly couldn’t imagine a better partner or a happier life. I wake up every day feeling incredibly lucky and grateful to have found her.”

Brielle agrees: “Jared is my best friend, my soul mate, my home, and my partner in every adventure. We love exploring the world together, trying out restaurants as well as going to our usuals, watching movies, plays, and musicals, playing games… and simply enjoying each other’s company. Whether we are working out, taking walks, or binge-watching TV shows, every moment spent with him is filled with happiness, laughter, and even more love…” 

As a child of the 80s, I believe the lesson Brielle and Jared teach us is simple to me, as the Swedish duo Roxette put it years ago: 

“Listen to your heart

When he's calling for you

Listen to your heart

There's nothing else you can do

I don't know where you're going

And I don't know why

But listen to your heart

Before you tell him goodbye”

Thank you, Brielle and Jared, for this valuable lesson. Thank you for listening to your heart. May we all learn from your example.

Living Our Journey

On Saturday, November 30, 2024, I officiated Laura and Greg’s wedding ceremony at Shully's in Thiensville, Wisconsin. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Laura and Greg very much value this idea of lifelong learning. They see their journeys individually and with each other as journeys of learning. They try to live their lives in what one might call a teachable fashion, setting an example for their children. They see this moment, specifically, as a teachable moment. 

Greg recounts how it all started: “I met Laura (I call her Ella) in Clearwater Beach, Florida in March 2020. I was there on vacation with a college friend. Coincidentally and little did we know, we were staying at the same hotel as Ella. Ella and I met in the hotel gym at around noon on a weekday. Looking back, there is no question in my mind that Ella and I met due to divine intervention. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of factors, that I can list that would have prevented our meeting in the gym.”

Laura agrees and elaborates on the teachable aspect of this moment: “Greg offers me the safety and the sense of belonging together as if it was ‘beschert’ (meant to be). We share the same vision of a blended family and support each of our children in their endeavors. We both share a deep sense of familial connection and feel that marriage will offer our ‘kinder’ stability and balance. It shows them that marital commitment matters and that it is a key factor for their future...”

Greg talks about the nature of their relationship and what it does for each of them: “Ella and I have enjoyed a strong bond since we met that has blossomed into a special relationship. From the beginning, our relationship has been easy and organic. I made the decision to marry Ella after realizing that our partnership is stronger than the two of us individually. My life is better and has more meaning when Ella is part of it. I look forward to continuing my growth and fostering her growth within our partnership; that growth being the true act of love.”

Laura agrees and once again elaborates on the significance of this moment: “I firmly believe we humans are not meant to be islands. We need other humans to interact with and a partner to share our life with. In Greg, I found a partner who offers emotional support, a sense of belonging that makes every hardship in my life easier, and a great companion… We mutually complete each other. Our house watcher in Arizona refers to us Yin and Yang… 

We are all on this life train, living our journey. The truth is, we will all get off at different stations but until then, we need to be an example and build a legacy for generations to come… There is no such thing as a perfect life, but I do believe that there are perfect moments in time.”

Still Get Butterflies

On Saturday, November 16, 2024, Dr. Chris Girata and I co-officiated Emily and Spencer’s wedding ceremony at The Adolphus in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Emily describes the genesis of their relationship, and how their platonic relationship took a romantic turn: “Spencer and I met in the summer of 2018… at a party in Dallas, and we became fast friends… Over the years I would come back to DFW to visit friends in the area, always excited to run into Spencer. 

That is when I developed a crush on him but never thought of the possibility of making it work long distance. Until he decided to ask me to be his girlfriend in the summer of 2019 before I went back to school again. I remember thinking hey, I like him, what do I have to lose? Turns out it was the best decision I have ever made.”

Spencer agrees with that last statement, as he explains why he wants to marry Emily: “I know that I’ve met my soulmate. She is all that’s good in the world. Emily is beautiful, smart, patient, loving and kind. She is everything that I could ask for in a wife. She is my best friend…”

Emily echoes some of Spencer’s language: “He is my biggest supporter, my best friend, my favorite person to do anything with. Every painful situation, errand, or negative aspect of life is instantly brightened with his presence. I still get butterflies even talking about him after almost five years of dating.” 

As a child of the 80s, I believe the lesson Emily and Spencer teach us is simple to me, as the Swedish duo Roxette put it years ago, “Listen to your heart.” Thank you, Emily and Spencer, for this valuable lesson. Thank you for listening to your heart. May we all learn from your example.

Always Have Fun in the Process

On Saturday, November 9, 2024, I officiated Emily and Bryson’s wedding ceremony at Warwick Melrose Hotel in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

The beginning of their relationship almost didn’t. Begin, I mean. Emily says: “Bryson and I matched on Bumble, and I sent him a message that he later told me was not a good opening line, however, he still replied so how bad was it really? I said ‘heyy’ and he wrote back a comment about my Halloween costume – Maverick from Top Gun. A few days later, he asked me out for drinks and later admitted I was his second date of the day.”

Wow. I bet you too are wondering; how does he dig his way out of that one? I mean, obviously he did, because, duh, we’re here, but how?

Bryson says: “Fun side note, Emily was technically my second date of the day but the only one of the two that I actually cared about.”

Nice save, bro, nice save…

Emily continues: “The plan was to meet at Harwood arms. Bryson was 5 minutes early and I was 5 minutes late. I went home from the date thinking that this was either going to be the guy I married or the greatest heartbreak. Thankfully, it is the former.”

So, why does Emily want to marry Bryson? She says: “Bryson is the most genuine person I have met. He is true to himself and does not let the outside world affect him. We are very different people with very different backgrounds, but I believe that makes our relationship stronger. Since the day we met, we challenged each other. He makes me approach situations differently and we have a good balance… Bryson makes me a better person and provides new perspectives, and I hope I do the same for him.”

And why does Bryson want to marry Emily? He speaks of some of the same themes Emily does, but he also says this: “When I was starting my professional career, I had a conversation with a mentor and he asked me what I wanted from a job (I promise this is relevant to the question). Trying to sound thoughtful and engaged I came up with a few different ideas but as I was talking, he stopped me and said: ‘You want a job that is fun’... 

As time has gone on, I am more and more convinced he is right. More than that, however, I am fully convinced that it applies not just to my job but to my life and my relationship. And it is the main reason why I want to marry Emily.

Sometimes I think this answer is too simplistic and that I need a laundry list of reasons that I can rattle off when asked this question. But every time I think about it, I keep coming back to the fact that since the first night we met it has essentially been 3+ years of nonstop fun. Whether we are traveling, with family and friends, or just sitting in our living room with our dog, we find a way to have fun with each other. When I think of what I want in my life going forward, I could not think of anything better.”

What more can we wish for you, Emily and Bryson? May you continue to be genuine, balance each other out, make each other better, and always always have fun in the process.

Strong Values

On Saturday, October 5, 2024, I officiated Hannah and Ben’s wedding ceremony at Cliff House in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Sometimes these just kind of write themselves, with the lessons the bride and groom teach us well articulated in their own words. This is one of those times. 

Ben says: “I knew that my ideal partner would need to be independent and trusting in me and our relationship. Hannah is all of those things and more. She is an incredibly intelligent, funny, goofy, hardworking, loving, loyal, and passionate person. 

Our relationship is built on trust, and she is secure enough in our relationship and herself that she doesn’t always feel obligated to participate in things with me. Our relationship is both of us, as separate and independent individuals, choosing to combine and build a life together. 

I know that she will be an excellent mother to our children and an amazing life partner to spend the rest of my days with.”

Hannah says: “I desire to marry Ben because we have similar values. We are both traditional in many ways and hold our family and friends as a major priority in our lives. We have built a fantastic community of love surrounding us and share a similar sense of humor. We have a reservoir of silly inside jokes and jabs. 

I know I can rely on him to make decisions for us while considering my input. I trust him to take care of me and my family as well as loving them as if they are his own. Ben is so incredibly intelligent and kind. 

I love listening to him when he is passionate about a new idea. I may have no idea what he is talking about, but I can’t help but smile as he tells me all about it. 

I know he will protect our family and if something happened to me, he would be able to raise our future children in a loving home with strong values.”

Hannah and Ben, thank you for such clear well-articulated lessons. May you live those lessons in your individual lives, as a couple, and as future parents, for many years to come.

Strength, Stability, and Peace

On Saturday, September 28, 2024, I officiated Stephanie and George’s wedding ceremony at the Carlisle Room in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Stephanie and George’s meeting began pretty conventionally. Stephanie says: “George and I met online through Bumble. Since women message first on the app, I wanted to make an impression right off the bat. My very first message to George was sending him a random number and telling him to remember it. He was very confused about what this number meant and eventually I told him that the number I shared with him was my ring size. To be fair, I had seen a video on social media about the best pick-up lines for dating apps. This goes to show that you can always trust what you read on social media because here we are!”

George describes the setting: “We arranged our first date in Deep Ellum.” I feel like first date in Deep Ellum is definitely a different vibe than first date in downtown or uptown. “The connection was instant. I felt such a clear signal that there was something special between us. Possibly the funniest thing that we bonded over that night was how we both loved ketchup on pizza. I mean talk about find the One!”

George leaves out a crucial detail. Stephanie adds, “George decided to take me axe throwing for our first date. I was very excited to go but incredibly nervous that my throwing skills would make the axe turn into a boomerang.” Like I said, Deep Ellum is just a different vibe…

Stephanie adds about that night and what followed, “I knew George was the one when we immediately started dancing together, without even saying anything, and it felt like we had been dancing together for years. The more I got to know George, the more I fell in love with him. His genuineness and kindhearted spirit drew me in instantly.”

George says about that time, “We fell deeper and deeper in love. The more time we spent together, the more it just made sense and at some point, it became impossible to imagine a future without her in my life. Not only did I fall in love with Steph, but also her family and her history.”

Stephanie sums it up when she says, “I cannot wait to love him as a husband and a father to our children. He makes me the happiest person on the planet. My inner child and I feel safest when we are with him. Not only do we feel his love but also his support of working on my continual relationship with her.”

And George agrees, “I know that in Steph, I have found my soulmate and the person who completes me in ways I could have never imagined. She is a beautiful and radiant woman that loves making others laugh and sharing meaningful conversations and experiences. Her kindness is like no one else’s. She constantly reminds me that it’s okay to relax because life is better when it isn’t so serious. In her, I’ve seen so much strength, stability, and peace.”

Happy Accident

On Saturday, September 21, 2024, I officiated Stephanie and Chris’ wedding ceremony at the Renaissance Dallas at Plano Legacy West Hotel in Plano, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Stephanie describes the genesis of this relationship as a happy accident: “I was looking for a date for a formal and as a modern young person I turned to Tinder. His picture came up and I swiped right on him and he sent me a message. Who knew it would be the best thing to ever happen to me? Something told me he was different than all the other people I had talked to and dated. He seemed to be quite clever and a good person.”

The attraction was mutual. As Chris says, “We initially met online, and quickly decided after communicating for a short time to go on a date. Our first date was when we really got to know each other… We… had a long and wonderful first date, near where we are getting married.”

The special feeling of that first date was mutual. As Stephanie says, “We went out on our first date and I had felt like I knew him for months when we had only been talking/FaceTiming for less than 2 weeks. When we met in person, I felt something I had never felt before. I felt a genuine connection and shortly after that date I asked him to my formal and we started dating.”

What is the secret of this relationship? Once you get to know Stephanie and Chris, it’s almost self-evident. They have each experienced hardships in life, hardships that have severely tested them. Despite these hardships they have persevered and even flourished. And their relationship has been a rock that has helped them persevere. They have mutually understood and supported each other through it all. 

This is why Chris says, “My love for Steph had only grown the longer we spent together.”  This is why Stephanie says, “I cannot wait to see what the future brings.”

Yea

On Saturday (7/13), I officiated Samantha and Cooper’s wedding ceremony at Hotel Za Za in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

The genesis of Samantha and Cooper’s relationship was uneventful. Samantha says: “We met on my first day of training for a restaurant called Liberty Burger… Then he came to manage the Liberty Burger I was working at in Lakewood… We didn’t really pay a lot of attention to each other. I worked the morning shift and he worked the night shift so we only saw each shift, for a couple of minutes before I would leave. He eventually became curious about me when he saw me in a picture with one of his friends on Facebook. This inspired him to strike up a conversation to find out how I knew his friend. After that we talked more regularly at work, but even then, we didn’t really feel a draw to each other.”

Then adventure struck. Cooper says: “We discovered that I had a wedding to attend in Austin the same weekend she had her sister’s birthday party. So, in lieu of her usual pattern of taking the bus down she asked to ride with me. I thought why not, she does not have murder me energy. 

This was a definite turning point. Samantha says: “That’s when things started to change, very subtly, but noticeably… Cooper and I started hanging out regularly. As we hung out more and more we organically became more attracted to each other and got to know each other more. It wasn’t an earth-shattering can’t stay away from each other experience; it just softly happened. We never had a conversation about where we were going as a couple; we never really had to. It was just a feeling we kept following, and the progression felt natural.”

The adventure struck again. Samantha and Cooper had an experience few have when developing their relationship. Samantha went abroad to teach. They had one year of long distance. Then Cooper joined her for another two years of teaching in two different countries, no less. The organic sense of relationship building Samantha mentions coupled with a multi-year adventure cemented their relationship.

This is why on a more recent adventure to Silverthorn, Colorado, when Cooper dropped on one knee and asked Samantha to marry him, she responded with two words, only one of which I can mention, which was yea. 

This is why when asked why they want to get married now, Cooper says: “I don’t know, it feels right. I approach life logically most of the time and this time I just decided to let that view out the window. I feel this one. I don’t have a reason, and I think that is the reason. I don’t want to go around this world with anyone but her.”

A Very Highly Regarded Entity

On Tuesday, June 18, 2024, I officiated Kristin and Henry’s wedding ceremony at their home in Garland, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Jackie Mason, who like me was ordained and served as an Orthodox rabbi, once said that every Jewish parent wants their child to become a doctor, not that smart (I’m changing what he actually said because the original is too offensive) a lawyer, no brains at all an accountant. I’m not sure where that leaves rabbis or for that matter creatives like you, Kristin and Henry. 

Now, why did I open with this joke? Bear with me. It is about to make sense. I ask every person I marry to write an essay in which they tell me about their life and spiritual history, how they met, why they want to get married and why now. Kristin and Henry’s answer is so romantic, I am going to have to steel myself, so not to cry. Here goes. Kristin and Henry say, “Only now, the state of Texas will treat our jointly owned business as a disregarded entity.” Now, I will admit that I researched this just a little bit, meaning I read a couple of entries on the internet, and for the life of me, I cannot understand what they mean. Then, again, I was not smart enough to become an accountant.

That’s ok, though, because, Kristin and Henry continue. Again, the prompt was why do you want to get married and why now: “Oh, and also because we love each other a lot.” There is more to it, of course. And here is where the disregarded entity stuff actually has a serious side. Kristin and Henry say, “We have started a lot of creative endeavors and are embarking on our business, Shiitake Brains, where Kristin cuts the commercials, and Henry makes the music.”

I truly believe, and this has been true in my relationship with my wife, that working together on a creative endeavor really does add a depth to a relationship that is quite unique. Trish Harp, who has conducted extensive research on this subject, says that “in spite of the roller-coaster ride that defines entrepreneurship, spouses have reported a great feeling that they are on this journey together. There is a strong desire to stick it out… When couples create a shared vision for their future, their satisfaction in all areas of life increases."

What Kristin and Henry realize, though, is that one creative endeavor stands above them all. As Kristin and Henry write, “Our greatest ‘endeavor’ was born in November of 2023 and it has been incredible to learn how to be both parents and partners in every sense of the word.”

Becoming parents trumps becoming business partners. It actually changes our biology. As Abigail Fagan writes, “Becoming a parent changes us deeply. It changes our brain, our behavior, our thoughts, our hormones, our biology, and our body. With awareness and knowledge, this can be a beautiful gift—specialized brains to take care of and bond with our infants, a new period of neuroplasticity where we might find healing for ourselves.”

When you share such a gift together, when you find such healing together, you can approach your wedding and your marriage the way Kristin and Henry do, as an already living and breathing entity, dare I say, a very highly regarded entity, that just needs the final seal of approval. As Kristin and Henry write, “We are getting married at this point in our relationship almost as a formality. We’ve committed our lives to each other already.”

The Safety to Be Vulnerable

On Saturday, June 15, 2024, Reverend Marty Younkin and I co-officiated Sydney and Hunter’s wedding ceremony at Brake and Clutch in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Sydney’s description of the genesis and initial stages of this relationship is evocative. I suppose evocative is kind of in the job description for 4th grade teachers: “I can still vividly remember standing nervously outside the restaurant waiting for him at North Italia. I remember seeing him walk up the stairs and realized in that moment that he was going to be someone special. I knew right away on that second date that he seemed to have all the qualities I was looking for… We discovered very quickly that we were very compatible and good compliments to each other's personalities.”

Now, I did leave out something: When this happened. Hunter backs up the story 24 hours and shares this vital piece of information: “We met at Happiest Hour, and it went so well that I asked her on a dinner date for the next night. We continued to go on dates, and in November 2019 we made our relationship official.” 

[Sucking my breath through my clenched teeth.] I feel like what I just did, for which there is no word in English, is the most apt reaction to that date, because unlike Sydney and Hunter, at that time, WE know what comes next a short few months later. Incidentally, the French do have a word for this sound: “Tchiper”.

Now, if you figured out that the apprehension I felt when reading this was unwarranted, congratulations, Sherlock. Yes, we are at their wedding. Hunter goes beyond that, though. Here is what he says: “When the pandemic started in early 2020, we were able to spend a lot of time together and our relationship grew stronger. We decided to move in together in July 2021 and started talking about the potential of marriage. I asked her dad in March 2022 for his blessing, and I proposed in July 2022 at Flippen Park in Highland Park.”

What is the secret of their relationship, though? How did the pandemic not only not defeat them but cause their relationship to thrive? Hunter says, “Sydney is the most thoughtful, sweetest, and genuine person I know, and I can’t imagine a life without her. She’s made my life so much better, and I love her unconditionally. Our personalities mesh together very well, and we trust each other.”

Sydney mirrors this when she says, “Hunter is dependable, reliable, thoughtful, kind, loving, hardworking, supportive, patient and the best person I have ever met. I have always dreamed and hoped for a love like this one. I can’t even truly put into words how much I love him and how happy he makes me. I couldn’t be any luckier to be with someone who treats me and everyone else in his life with so much kindness.”

Sydney says one more thing that really answers the question, though. This is true gold: “He allows me to feel comfortable to be myself and supports me even when I am not at my best.”

The fact is, and this will be true long after the global pandemic during which their relationship evolved is but a distant memory, we can’t always be at our best. I know that the cult of grind culture militates against this, but it is true. And the number one mark of a relationship that is built to last is just this: We have the safety to be vulnerable in it. We have the safety to not be at our best.  And we know that our partner will still be there for us, that we will still be loved. THAT is about as good as it gets.

Learning Process

On Saturday, June 8, 2024, I officiated Lauren and Hunter’s wedding ceremony at the Hall on Dragon in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I have been married for more than thirty years. I have found that marriage is a learning process. I continue to learn about things I am not supposed to do.  

The formal start of Lauren and Hunter’s relationship began with such a lesson for Hunter. Lauren says: “Hunter asked me to be his girlfriend… but unfortunately, he chose to ask this on my birthday. Of course, I excitedly said yes, however after four years of sharing my birthday with our anniversary, let’s just say I am VERY happy that we now have a new anniversary to celebrate.”

Single guys, listen up, and take note. Day before, day after, but not on her actual birthday. Stay safe out there, gentlemen.

Let’s back up to the beginning, though, and I hope there are no Alabamians here, because Lauren begins their story with this statement: “I was not in the mindset that my husband would be found in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.” Ouch. She adds, though, “Hunter would soon change that.” 

The theme of learning was central to the genesis of their relationship. So was the barter system. Hunter says: “I was starting my first teaching and coaching job in August, and she was taking a history class. The circumstances were perfect, because I didn’t have any money and she hated history. I traded homework for food, and we grew closer, as we spent more and more time together.”

Apparently, Napoleon knew only half of it. (He was a French emperor, Lauren.) Not only does an army march on its stomach, so do romantic relationships. 

Hunter invokes two specific themes that I love in explaining why Lauren is the right person for him: “I want to marry Lauren because she’s my best friend, the person I most look forward to being with every day and someone I feel safe with… When we first met, I was attracted to her not only because she was gorgeous, but because she was smart and funny as well. As our relationship has continued, I still find her attractive for all those things but also for her kindness and lovingness.” Safety, coupled with kindness and lovingness. That sounds simple yet profound.  What a great prescription for a successful marriage.

Lauren agrees, emphasizes that Hunter puts his money where his mouth is, and that that proves to her that this is the real deal: “There isn’t a day that goes by that I question whether Hunter is the right partner to spend the rest of my life with. He assures me of his love constantly not only through his words but also his actions. I desire to marry because I honestly feel that Hunter isn’t just someone I want to live with, he is someone I don’t want to live without… 

I understand that marriage can be, and will be, difficult at times, yet all I can say is that I’m ready. I’m ready to take that leap because I know I have Hunter holding my hand. I am ready to commit to choosing him every single day for the rest of my life, the way I know he will always choose me. I am ready to build a life together, and I am so excited for what the future has in store for us.”