Learning Process

On Saturday, June 8, 2024, I officiated Lauren and Hunter’s wedding ceremony at the Hall on Dragon in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I have been married for more than thirty years. I have found that marriage is a learning process. I continue to learn about things I am not supposed to do.  

The formal start of Lauren and Hunter’s relationship began with such a lesson for Hunter. Lauren says: “Hunter asked me to be his girlfriend… but unfortunately, he chose to ask this on my birthday. Of course, I excitedly said yes, however after four years of sharing my birthday with our anniversary, let’s just say I am VERY happy that we now have a new anniversary to celebrate.”

Single guys, listen up, and take note. Day before, day after, but not on her actual birthday. Stay safe out there, gentlemen.

Let’s back up to the beginning, though, and I hope there are no Alabamians here, because Lauren begins their story with this statement: “I was not in the mindset that my husband would be found in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.” Ouch. She adds, though, “Hunter would soon change that.” 

The theme of learning was central to the genesis of their relationship. So was the barter system. Hunter says: “I was starting my first teaching and coaching job in August, and she was taking a history class. The circumstances were perfect, because I didn’t have any money and she hated history. I traded homework for food, and we grew closer, as we spent more and more time together.”

Apparently, Napoleon knew only half of it. (He was a French emperor, Lauren.) Not only does an army march on its stomach, so do romantic relationships. 

Hunter invokes two specific themes that I love in explaining why Lauren is the right person for him: “I want to marry Lauren because she’s my best friend, the person I most look forward to being with every day and someone I feel safe with… When we first met, I was attracted to her not only because she was gorgeous, but because she was smart and funny as well. As our relationship has continued, I still find her attractive for all those things but also for her kindness and lovingness.” Safety, coupled with kindness and lovingness. That sounds simple yet profound.  What a great prescription for a successful marriage.

Lauren agrees, emphasizes that Hunter puts his money where his mouth is, and that that proves to her that this is the real deal: “There isn’t a day that goes by that I question whether Hunter is the right partner to spend the rest of my life with. He assures me of his love constantly not only through his words but also his actions. I desire to marry because I honestly feel that Hunter isn’t just someone I want to live with, he is someone I don’t want to live without… 

I understand that marriage can be, and will be, difficult at times, yet all I can say is that I’m ready. I’m ready to take that leap because I know I have Hunter holding my hand. I am ready to commit to choosing him every single day for the rest of my life, the way I know he will always choose me. I am ready to build a life together, and I am so excited for what the future has in store for us.”