Courage

Saturday evening, I officiated Lindsey and Ian’s wedding ceremony, at the La Cima Club in Irving, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I always ask people how they met. However, really what I am looking for is the relationship’s origin story. Sometimes, that origin story is not in how they met, but in something else that happened down the road. To set the stage, Lindsey and Ian had known each other for a few months, had been hanging out and enjoying some real chemistry, followed by a somewhat anti-climactic first date, and Lindsey fleeing the country. (Not really, but it sounds way more dramatic that way, doesn’t it?) Here’s Ian:

“Throughout the whole time she was in the Galapagos, hardly a day went by that we didn’t talk to each other. When Lindsey returned to St. Louis, she let me know that she would like to come down to Rolla and see me, and she promptly loaded up her car to drive to a place she had never been. I don’t remember exactly what she said, but it is one of the most romantic moments that I cherish. Of course, my roommates used the next hour and a half to clean furiously. Lindsey and I have been together ever since.”

Now, you might think this daring caper came out of the blue. Not so. In fact, months earlier, Ian had told Megan up here that he would marry Lindsey. He then set about to make that happen. Lindsey picks up the story: 

“As the weeks went by, Ian befriended my roommates. He found reasons to hang out at our house or meet up with us. He fixed things, he tutored people and he cooked. He came to game night, poker night, and parties. By the summer, Ian made himself a constant fixture in my life without even asking me on a date, and so logically the next thing he decided to do was have me meet his parents and all of their friends in another state. 

Ian told me that there was going to be celebration at his parent's house in Arkansas (4 hours away) for the 4th of July. He told me that he invited all the other co-ops and that I should come too. However, in reality he never asked anyone else to join--not that he told me that. I agreed to go and stay the weekend at their house. It was a wonderful weekend…”

Think about the courage it takes to do the things that Lindsey and Ian did. Resolve to act similarly. As they say in the business world, the return on investment is clearly worth it.

Fun and So Much More

Sunday evening, I officiated Lauren and Joshua’s wedding ceremony, at the Orion Ball Room in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

You’ll have to forgive me. Though I sport a very convincing General American Accent, I only moved back to this country when I was 26. That means that some things are still foreign to me, a fact I sometimes try to hide. 

One instance when I had occasion to do this was when Lauren and Josh told me how they met. Lauren writes, “Josh and I met through a mutual friend when I was around 17 and he was around 18. We went to a party with him and I made fun of him for drinking a summer shandy when it wasn’t summer.” I had no idea what a shandy was. I have since looked it up. I am still unsure as to why one such drink must be drunk only in the summer months. 

Regardless, somewhat anti-climactically what happened next was, well, nothing. Josh picks up the story: “We saw each other a couple times over the fall and then mostly fell out of touch. Almost six years later we ran into each other on the way to a show during SXSW. Lauren yelled my name as I sped by on my bike. We talked for a minute but eventually went on our separate ways. Through the wonder of social media, we reconnected a few weeks later and talked on and off through the summer. One night I invited Lauren over to watch Rushmore (one of her favorite movies) and, while I joke about it, she basically hasn’t been out of my life since then.”

Life can be like that sometimes. One chance meeting leads to nothing, while another chance meeting leads to where we are today. And, you know what? That’s a good thing. 

Lauren and Josh each feel like they had some individual growing to do as human beings. That growth enabled them to slowly build a relationship on a solid foundation of understanding and friendship, which gradually matured into a love story. 

That relationship, in turn, helped them continue to grow. As Josh says, “I’ve grown so much as a person with her. I just cant imagine spending my life with anyone else.” 

This growth changed Lauren’s entire perspective on marriage itself. Listen to this: “I didn't really picture myself getting married but then along came Josh and we make it work in a way that I hadn't really thought I would get to experience. I want to continue to experience things I didn't think I would that my relationship with him provides, things like security, love, compassion, gentleness, fun and so much more.” We should all be so lucky.