Showing posts with label Jews. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jews. Show all posts

Saturday, April 12, 2014

Did You Hope for Redemption?

Last night, Friday 4/11, I officiated Lisa and Scott's wedding at Occasions at Stone Ranch in Royse City, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Jews love questions. We even answer questions with questions. Why do we answer questions with questions? Well, why not?


So not surprisingly, Jewish tradition holds that at the Pearly Gates the Jewish equivalent of St. Peter asks you a few questions. One of these questions reminded me of Lisa and Scott. It is short and sweet. Here it is (drum roll), "Did you hope for redemption?"


Huh? What does that even mean?


Well, that is where Lisa and Scott come in. You see, in their actions, in the way they have and do live their lives as individuals and as a couple, Lisa and Scott clarify this question, and answer it too.


First, they clarify what hoping means. You see, one might think that hoping for redemption means you sit back, hope and God, nature, the universe, take your pick, brings about redemption. Not so, say Lisa and Scott. Hoping for redemption means working hard, and actively, constantly pursuing it.


Second, Lisa and Scott tell us that redemption comes only if we pursue collective AND personal redemption. One or the other is not enough. If you experience personal redemption, but everything and everyone around you is not redeemed, your own personal redemption will not last. Conversely, if you are so busy redeeming everyone and everything, but you have not redeemed yourself, not for long will you actually be able to continue redeeming others.


Finally, in the way Lisa and Scott live their lives, they clarify what true redemption means. Redemption does not mean the past is erased, it does not mean we become perfect, it does not mean we vanquish our challenges once and for all. Redemption means that we embrace our past, our present and our future. Redemption means we treasure and cherish the lessons we have learned working through our imperfections. Redemption means we continue to work on improving ourselves and the world around us each and every day.


So there you have it. If you heed Lisa and Scott's lessons, if that is how you live your life, than you too can state everyday with confidence, "I hoped, I hope, I will continue to hope for redemption."

Thursday, January 9, 2014

Embracing Español in Interfaith and Jewish Weddings


In my final year of rabbinic training, I participated in a program that trained rabbis for, and placed them in far flung communities. My choices were Wellington, New Zealand, or someplace in Latin America. I chose the former, saying to myself, "Hey, they speak English. How different can it be?" (Answer: Very.) "Anyway, going to Latin America, would mean I would have to learn Spanish. When on earth will I ever need that again?" Smash cut to seven short years later, and where do I move to? That's right, Tejas.  (How DO you say, "Poor judgment," in Español?)
 
Now, you might be saying to yourself, "What's he crying about? He's a rabbi! When does HE ever need Spanish?" Well, think again. When you marry about 50 interfaith couples a year, the answer is, "More often than you think!" About a quarter of the U.S. population below 17 is Hispanic, and 58% of Jews marry non-Jews. Do the math, and you will understand how many Hispanic Jewish weddings we should expect in the next few years.

My anecdotal evidence fits these statistics. There are more and more couples, that want some Spanish in their ceremonies. Usually, the non-Jewish side is the Hispanic one, but sometimes it is the Jewish side. Beyond that, as the world becomes smaller and flatter, there are interfaith couples in Latin America, who choose an American rabbi to officiate their weddings, but still want the ceremony to be officiated entirely in Spanish.

The first part of a wedding ceremony I did in Spanish was the Priestly Blessing. I just had a friend teach me how to read it. At the time I really thought I would not go beyond that. That whet my appetite, though, and I decided to take a course or two in Spanish at our local community college.

The "secret" I discovered regarding Spanish is that Spanish is one of the easiest languages to learn to read. English, which is really a hodge podge of different languages, has many different exceptions, and spelling and pronunciation sometimes bear little relation to each other. Spanish, however, much like Hebrew, has a pretty consistent set of consonants and vowels. Once you learn how pronounce each, you can read pretty much anything. Beyond that, the rules of very basic Spanish grammar are, once again, much easier to grasp, than those of English. One more thing that helps English speakers is that the number of cognates (identical or similar words) shared by English and Spanish is great.

Once I took two Spanish courses, I was able to mix more Spanish into ceremonies. If a couple was willing to translate something, I was willing to master saying it at their wedding. Then, in December 2012 in Santiago, Chilé, and once again in August 2013 in Santa Cruz, Bolivia, I successfully officiated two ceremonies entirely in Spanish. Each time I practiced what I was going to say, so I could say it fluently, and so both ceremonies went quite smoothly. In fact, both times, during the reception, people came up to me, and attempted to speak to me in Spanish!
 

The funny thing about going outside our comfort zone, and learning how to operate in Spanish is that in a way, it is like coming home. Spain was home to one of the greatest Jewish communities ever, for hundreds of years, prior to their expulsion/forced conversion by Ferdinand and Isabella in 1492. The Jews who left Spain took with them a Spanish dialect written in Hebrew characters called Ladino, a language some use to this very day in prayer and speech. Some ended up in the New World, and in the nascent United States these Sephardic (Spain in Hebrew is Sefarad) Jews were more numerous than their Ashkenzic (Northern/Central European) brethren.

At the same time, many conversos (forced converts, who sometimes remained secretly Jewish), made their way to the Americas too, in attempt to escape the Inquistion. As its long arm reached across the Atlantic, many of them moved north to the outer reaches of Spanish territory, as far north as today's American Southwest, only to vanish into the local Hispanic populations.

In these senses, officiating a wedding with some Spanish in it, or even entirely in Spanish, is nothing new, and certainly not alien. The past is once again present. It is indeed just coming home.

 
Copyright 2013 - Rabbi David S. Gruber. First published on www.interfaithfamily.com 

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

Kristin and Brian – Their Differences Strengthen Them

I wanted to point out two facts about Kristin and Brian, that when juxtaposed, remind us of something fundamental and important. Anyone who knows Kristin will tell you how devout she is, how her faith in Jesus permeates her daily life. Anyone who knows Brian will tell you how growing up with few Jews around him strengthened his commitment to the Jewish People, and made Judaism central to his identity.

Now listen to what each says about the other. Brian says, “I love her passion for what she does and that no matter how bad of a day we might be having, all we need is to hear each other’s voice and we begin to feel better. Kristin makes me laugh all the time and has many of the same priorities that I do. We both are very family oriented. We both enjoy just having a nice quiet relaxing evening together… We both love to travel and experience new things in new cities… I am so excited to have Kristin be a part of my family and have me be a part of hers.” Kristin says, “Brian is… is my best friend. When I look at him, I see someone that I am excited about spending the rest of my life with. Even when we are just hanging out at my apartment watching television I am excited to be with him. I also see the man that I want to be the father of my children. I am ready to marry Brian now because I am excited to take our relationship to yet another level and grow together as husband and wife.”

Kristin and Brian remind us of something that should be obvious, simple, almost simplistic, yet so missing today. We can agree to disagree. We each can have strong beliefs that we are passionate about, and still share love and happiness together. More than that, as Kristin and Brian will each tell you, our differences can actually strengthen our bond, our spirituality, and our individual faiths. So, I feel we owe you, Kristin and Brian, a debt of gratitude for reminding us of this important idea. Let us all heed your message and follow your example in our private and public lives, and through that make this world a better place.