Such Kindness

Saturday evening, March 25, 2023, Padre Miguel Castaneda and I co-officiated Ale and Steven’s wedding ceremony at Casa Xipe in Mexico City, Mexico. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Ale and Steven met at Tufts University; a school that, according to the bot that wrote the article I consulted on the internet, is comparable to the Ivies. You wouldn’t know that from the way they met, though, from Steven’s telling of the story. 

Alejandra transferred to Tufts her sophomore year, and “for some inexplicable reason,” he says, “Tufts decided to put all the new transfer girls in a large house across the street from the fraternity house where I was living. Upon learning of this stroke of fortune bestowed upon us by the Tufts administration, my friends and I sent over several bottles of (cheap) champagne to make sure these new students felt welcome!” Such kindness, Steven!

The proximity and knowing the same people eventually brought them together at a friend’s birthday party, where they hit it off. Ale made a fascinating discovery: “Steven and I… were in the same Economics class.” Steven’s kindness was revealed again, and this time it didn’t even involve the provision of alcohol! He suggested that Ale and he do their homework together. “I was so impressed by how smart he was,” says Ale. “What Alejandra did not know until many years later,” though, reveals Steven, “is that I had taken the same course the previous year before dropping it – so I already knew half of the course material!” All is fair in love and war, I suppose…

OK, now I didn’t just come here to poke fun at the bride and groom. Love and kindness in a true serious sense ARE central to Ale and Steven as individuals and as a couple. You see this in what they say about themselves, their upbringings, and each other. 

Ale speaks of her family’s strong connection, growing up, to the Brothers of St. John, the religious order Padre Miguel is part of. “Going to the Brothers of St. John was a formative experience,” Ale says. She cherishes the message of the Brothers, which in her words, is, “loving and accepting everyone, treating others with kindness and as you would want to be treated, and serving others in need.”

Steven cites the deep influences of his parents and grandparents. “Family is an important part of who I am and also informs why I am the way that I am,” he says. In that context, the emphasis of his religious upbringing, just as Ale’s was, was on values as paramount, with learning, ethical behavior, and being a good person taking center stage. 

It is no surprise, therefore, that they each see in each other a common trait. So, while Steven says that “Alejandra is incomparably beautiful… absurdly smart... hard-working and driven,” what stood out to me is that he also says that “she is kind. She cares about others more than herself.”

And while Ale says, “Together we are playful, we are adventurous, we are curious… we encourage each other in our careers,” what stood out to me is that she also says that “Steven is kind and attentive and he puts his loved ones above all else.”

Care about others more than yourself. Put your loved ones above all else. What a great maxim for a successful marriage.