Revealed In a Dream

On Sunday, November 13th, I officiated Rebekah and Kaya’s wedding ceremony at the Texas Renaissance Festival in Todd Mission, Texas. Every wedding I officiate is special. This one was rather unique. The bride and groom dressed as king and queen, most guests were in costume, and I was dressed as a wizard.

For the opening remarks, I shared these words:

Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today

To get through this thing called life

Electric word life it means forever and that's a mighty long time

But I'm here to tell you there's something else…

Now, at this point, you might be wondering a number of things, in no particular order: (a) Why did they circle each other before the wizard started talking? (b) Is it legal in Texas to have a wizard marry you? (c) Isn’t it illegal, outside of his native state of Minnesota, to begin a wedding ceremony with Prince lyrics?

Allow me to ignore b and c and explain a. As Oren, known by most as Kaya, and Rebekah, known by most as Rebekah, came forth, they followed an ancient Jewish tradition and circled each other seven times. This rather theatrical custom was originally designed to ward off evil spirits. Good thing, too, because some of you definitely scare me. It also symbolizes the mutual commitment of Rebekah and Kaya to make each one the center of the other’s world. Indeed, the scholars of Jewish mysticism write that this circling helps the lovers enter the many spheres of each other’s souls.

Friends, the bond and covenant of marriage is an ancient one. It is so old that often the relationship between God and Israel is analogized to the union of lovers. 

Now, this covenant is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly but reverently. That reverence is only enhanced by having your ceremony officiated by a powerful wizard.

Now, I hate interruptions once I really get wound up, so just to ensure there are no shenanigans if any of you can show just cause why they may not be lawfully married, speak now, or else forever hold your peace. (Pause)

Speaking of shenanigans, Rebekah and Kaya, I require and charge you both, if you know any reason why you may not be united in marriage lawfully, you do now confess it. (Pause)

OK, great, I didn’t travel all this way from Dallas in my wizard costume only to return empty-handed. Let’s keep going. Considering that I am not just a powerful wizard but a very wise rabbi, too, I should probably chant something in Hebrew before we move on.

Here are the personal remarks I shared with them and their guests. I modified my standard intro a little:

Friends, our shared traditions embrace lifelong learning and learning from everyone. Now, I know what you are wondering: Is there anything a powerful wizard like me does not already know? No, there isn’t. I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about you. You still have much to learn. So, whenever I officiate a wedding, I ask myself, this couple being unique individuals, what can normal mortals like you learn from them, so listen up. I don’t want to have to repeat myself.

Growing up in an academic household, I attended academic conferences and even read academic papers from a very young age, so I assumed that, naturally, everyone reads footnotes. I was well into my mid-forties when I discovered this was not the case. 

Now, there is little doubt as to the very best footnote ever written. No one comes close to Nicholas Berdyaev in his 1949 essay, The Divine and the Human. Often footnotes will include sources for the ideas the scholar is sharing with their readers. However, rather than citing a specific work, this footnote reads, and yes, it does sound better in the original German: “This was once revealed to me in a dream.” 

Now, you might be wondering why, standing here in a wizard costume, I chose to speak about the absolutely riveting subject of footnotes. It’s a fair question. And, no, the idea to do this was not revealed to me in a dream. It’s totally Rebekah’s fault.

Rebekah says, “I met Kaya in probably the most spiritual way possible. I had a dream about them. Yes, a dream. About two months before I moved to L.A., I had a dream about this bearded tattooed guy, and we instantly connected, and it gave me a lot of insight into where he was in life… 

Right after moving to L.A. I got this message from a circus company, asking if I would be interested in doing a performance… I agreed to meet with them, and I was expecting a girl or a couple, but then in walks the literal man of my dreams…” 

Kaya picks up the story from there, “I recall her face turning white. She seemed stunned. I assumed it [was] because I mentioned via texts jokingly that I was wearing a purple dress so she could [easily] spot me. We had not yet spoken by phone, and apparently, she assumed Kaya was a girl. My joke and her assumption together were a perfect setup for when a bearded and tattooed man introduced himself as Kaya.” Only later did Rebekah reveal to Kaya that he didn’t know the half of it. As you already know by now, like Nicholas Berdyaev, this was, in fact, revealed to her in a dream…

Kaya elaborates on even more magic and wonder that was involved in that first encounter: “One way in which… magic… has manifested in my life is the gift of having met my angel and queen, Rebekah… I [had] reached out to her asking if she would like to play the role of Cleopatra in an upcoming immersive theater project I was directing. What she didn’t reveal to me at the time was that she had an affinity for Cleopatra growing up, and her grandmother even handmade her a beautiful Cleopatra costume as a child…”

I believe that these phenomena are what we call foreshadowing. Here is another bit of foreshadowing for you. Close your eyes (yes, now) and think of what Cleopatra looked like. Now, Kaya simply pictured Rebekah, but you probably pictured Elizabeth Taylor. 

Here is a fascinating fact about the famous actress. She, like Rebekah, fell in love with Judaism. In fact, the classic 1964 movie was banned in Egypt because Gamel Abdel Nasser’s government was outraged that Cleopatra would be played by a Jew and a fierce advocate of Israel like Taylor, no less. 

The Ancient Rabbis believed that foreshadowing played a huge role in love and marriage. They also had a real knack for theatrics. The Talmud is constantly mentioning incidents in which, it claims, a heavenly voice makes a dramatic proclamation. And they maintained that forty days before the conception of every fetus, a heavenly voice proclaims who that individual will eventually marry. 

(As an aside, this is somewhat surprising because contrary to the view held by some that a fetus should be considered viable from the moment of conception, we, Jews, believe that a fetus becomes viable only after it graduates from medical school.)

Seriously, though, at the same time that we value foreshadowing, we are not naïve. We recognize the truth of these words written by a great playwright, in his native German, "Wenn ihr wollt, ist es kein Märchen" which we usually translate, “If you will it, it is no dream.” 

These words, written by one Theodor Herzl, who we refer to as the Seer of the State of Israel, convey a great truth not only about the life of nations but about the life of individuals in love. It is vital but not sufficient to have a dream. You must will it into existence, in word and deed, and never stop willing it. Just like Rebekah and Kaya.    

Finally, I altered my pronouncement a little for this wedding:

Rebekah and Kaya, all of us here rejoice in your happiness, and we pray that this marks only one of many more blessings you will share in the days and years ahead. Now that you have spoken the words and performed the rites that unite your lives, I do hereby, with all my wizardly powers granted to me by the Great State of Texas, declare you husband and wife. Kaya, you may kiss your queen!