Empower Other People

On Saturday evening, November 5, 2022, I officiated Beth and Bryon’s wedding ceremony at their home in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

May you live in interesting times, is said to be an ancient Chinese curse, though it assuredly was invented by an Englishman, Sir Austen Chamberlain. Ironically, his better known brother who ascended to the prime ministry, assured that times got way too interesting. 

Now, most of us do not control an island nation ruling over an empire, so our decisions will not factor into the times being more or less interesting. We, are, though, each and every one of us, tasked with responding to what the times lay in our path.  

As modern Stoic philosopher, Ryan Holiday, reminds us, expounding on the words of another man who ruled over an empire, Marcus Aurelius, “We don’t control when things get hard, but we always control how we respond.”

One thing we do have in common with the ancient philosopher-king, is that we have lived through a pandemic, and not one of us has been left unaffected, nor have our relationships. I say this with no judgement; just as many individuals suffered and some individuals succumbed to the pandemic, so it has been with relationships. 

What is beautiful to see are the individuals and the relationships that have not only survived but thrived, and often these relationships strengthened the individuals. 

Bryon explicitly says, “If not for our partnership, I don’t know that I would have made it through that time. My family, the core of everything in my life, dissolved. I couldn’t see my parents, my brother, the people that I loved and respected the most… But Beth and I were there together every single day. We loved each other deeply, always knowing and understanding those dark times and what they meant. She was my rock.”

Now, as anyone who has seen The Gladiator can tell you, Marcus Aurelius had a few more challenges beyond the Antonine Plague, and all of us have challenges that extend beyond COVID-19. If we are lucky enough, we as individuals and our relationships will not only not be broken by these experiences but be strengthened through them. 

Beth says, “Bryon and I are the strongest team. When we first started dating, I [experienced some medical challenges]. He stood by my side, literally… The pandemic made us sturdy, almost impenetrable. A year ago, in a period of three months, we suffered the loss of Bryon’s father, Mike, our beloved pets, Bailey and Isabella, followed by my unbelievably amazing Nana. Through everything, I have become kinder, better, sturdier. Never weaker. I have continued to laugh, and smile. I know this strength is in me, but also very much because I have my life-long partner, Bryon, beside me.”

What is at the core of reacting this way to hardship? I believe it is rather simple. Empathy for ourselves and others, and the compassion that flows from that. 

In preparation for this ceremony, I had the opportunity to speak to one person who is very close to Beth and Bryon, Sam Mahool. She shared with me that among the things that stand out to her about this couple is that fierce compassion: “They go out of their way to make people feel special, as a team. They really care about… and empower other people.”

Beth and Bryon, may you continue to embody this mantra from fellow Texan, Dr, Kristin Neff, in your relationship with each other and with others: 

May all beings be safe and free from harm. 

May all beings be peaceful and happy. 

May all beings be healthy and strong. 

May all beings live with ease.