Combine to Make Each Other Happier

Saturday evening, I officiated Abbey and Austin’s wedding ceremony at the Carlisle Room, in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I have the privilege of being able to ask couples the kind of questions that anyone else would be perceived as rude for asking, namely, why do you want to get married and why now? I mean even an inkling of that kind of question would get you in trouble in any other setting. I do get many interesting answers to the why now question. Austin’s answer lets you in on his excitement, though it may indicate that he failed to understand the assignment: “Why get married now? Because I met Abbey, that’s why!” A little agro when you think about it, too…

On a more serious note, I feel like my entire gender owes something to Austin, because he redeemed us in Abbey’s eyes: “Before I met Austin, I used to think that I would probably be alone for the rest of my life; you know the crazy dog lady type, in a relationship with work because falling in love was just too hard. I could not see myself with a husband and kids. But our first date was refreshing and really opened my eyes and my heart. I walked away thinking, wow, this guy is different. 

Falling for Austin wasn't really falling at all—it was like walking into a house and knowing you're home. He accepts me for me and has helped me feel like I finally fit in, like I have found my life partner. Our relationship has been tested, especially considering the fact that I moved in with him right before the start of the pandemic, but our love has been steadfast and strong. In the past three years Austin has become my best friend, my rock, and my biggest supporter. He makes me belly laugh and has filled my life with a happiness that is indescribable.”

Now, Austin went through a similar though not identical process: “When I moved to North Carolina I dated a little, but nothing worked out, and for a while, I was content in being alone. I even had some of my deepest faith revelations and discoveries about God, while I lived alone. But I soon realized that being alone was not for me, and when I moved back to Dallas and met Abbey, being with her made me feel safe, and assured, and completely in love. With Abbey I can be completely vulnerable, and I know I have a partner that will love me for exactly who I am, and I, her. 

I was told by a therapist I’ve seen through the years that the Jerry Maguire ‘You complete me’ idea of a relationship is the biggest fallacy ever spewed. A healthy relationship that lasts consists of one whole person and another whole person, who are independently happy, but combine to make each other happier. This is exactly the type of relationship we share, and it continues to grow, and I continue to fall in love more every day.” And Abbey agrees with this therapist’s very smart insight: “I love that we are two individuals that are just better together, and I am ready to start my future with him; forever and always.”