Serendipity

Saturday evening, I officiated Liz and Jake’s wedding ceremony at the RT Lodge in Maryville, Tennessee. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

The serendipity that brought Liz and Jake together is fascinating. Girl from Nashville and boy in law school at Duke meet randomly in Asheville. What are the odds? But Girl from Nashville and boy in law school at Duke meet randomly in Asheville two days in a row. I mean, it’s not New York City, it’s Asheville, but still. Then four months later, girl from Nashville gets transferred to Raleigh?! That is true serendipity. 

Now, some people might say that these types of things happening makes them meant to be, somehow. We all entertain these thoughts now and then, and if that works for you, that’s great. However, as an existentialist I don’t really believe in that. I see serendipity just as it is dictionary-defined, “the occurrence and development of events by chance in a happy or beneficial way.” The question than is, in the mind of the existentialist, what do you do with that occurrence?

Here’s what Liz did: “Not knowing a single person that lived in Raleigh or the research triangle area, I realized Duke wasn’t too far away. I thought about Jake who I had met in Asheville, and I texted him to see if he would be interested in hanging out. He suggested that he take me to a Duke basketball game. It’s nearly 5 years later, and he has yet to take me to one! The first weekend after I moved to Raleigh, we went on a date to the Raleigh Beer Garden. That night we stayed out until 2 AM talking and having so much fun together. The rest is really history!”

The affect Liz has had on Jake has indeed met the dictionary-definition of serendipity. Check this out: “Liz is the best thing that has ever happened to me… I am normally stoic and unemotional. That was until I met Liz! Liz, through constant, unending love and compassion has opened me up. My friends all call her the “ice pick” for taking my icy exterior away. Where I am more introverted and transactional minded, Liz is extroverted and overly compassionate. She is, in other words, truly my better half. Liz, just by being herself, makes me be a better person and makes me want to continue to be a better person.”

Jake’s response to why he wants to marry Liz now is existentialism at its best: “I want to marry Liz now because I want to make sure that our family is there to witness our love for each other, and to be there for each other as we begin our marriage journey… The pandemic… made me realize that life is truly fragile and tomorrow is not guaranteed.”

Jake cites the loss of their grandfathers following their engagement to underline this sense of fragility: “I feel extremely lucky that both were able to celebrate our engagement and know that we would be married. When life is fragile and tomorrow is not guaranteed, there is no point in waiting to marry the person I love and plan to love forever.”