Establish a Great Foundation

Friday evening (4/1), Father Robert Maguire and I co-officiated Jennifer and Joshua’s wedding ceremony at Marie Gabrielle, in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Like these two, once upon a time I lived in Kansas. (Go Jayhawks!) When you first move to Kansas and then to Dallas, one thing really strikes you. Both regions have their fair share of tornadoes. Consequently, you will rarely find a home in Kansas without a basement. In Dallas, on the other hand, the best you can do is like in those old films of nuclear attack drills in schools. Hands over your head, and kiss your, um, posterior, goodbye.

Why is that you may ask? Well, the soil here in Dallas sucks. You couldn’t build a basement even if you wanted to. In fact, I knew a guy in North Dallas, for whom money was no object. Neither was common sense. So, he built a basement. It still floods every winter. Nature, as they say, finds a way. Invariably, in Dallas, you are constantly dealing with foundation issues, hopefully, only on the front end, but many times on the back end.

There is a great metaphor there for relationships. None of us chooses how we meet our mates for life, but if you can establish a great foundation of friendship, first, it really helps cement your relationship for the long haul.

Not that it makes things easy, in that first stage of pouring your relationship’s foundation. Just listen to Josh: “It happened in the fall of 2011 during the early weeks of our sophomore year at KU. I immediately was attracted to Jen for her vivacious personality, big smile, and (speaking honestly) blonde hair, long legs and incredible figure. I did my best to play it cool with Jen as our groups became friends, but quickly began to realize that ‘friends’ was all we might be.” Ouch, Jen!

And you definitely don’t want to hear, “I loved all the guys,” even if it is followed by, “but always felt a super special connection to Josh. He was my #1 in the group. It did not click that he considered me as more than a friend…”

Still, Josh tells us, “We had grown close, especially by the time Jen went to Italy and France to study abroad.” This friendship grew and endured beyond their Jayhawk days. Josh continues: “I left college with many close friends, but none like Jen… I had found someone truly special. A best friend… I would always treasure and adore. This thought really never faded and, as post-grad years went on, Jen and I would regularly find ourselves at friend get-togethers with other former Jayhawks, cozied up in the corner, laughing about who knows what, loving and savoring every second of one another’s presence.”

It is this foundation that led to the next step. Jen tells us, “After another group trip with the college crew, this time in Austin, Josh pulled me aside before we were to go our separate ways yet again and asked me to really give it a go. To really give ‘us’ a go. I said yes.” Because they had that solid foundation of friendship, Jen says, “fast forward four years later, in our living room in Chicago, I said, yes, again. This time to a whole life together.”

What led from the one yes to the next, yes, that eventually brought us here today? Josh says, “I knew, years and years back, that I had found my best friend, but our time together – the experiences good and challenging we had faced the years of dating – had validated that she was ‘my person.’”

Jen agrees, “I am so glad I said, yes! Yes is the best word! Josh is truly the most wonderful, kind, patient, LOVING, fun, dependable man. Sometimes I truly can’t believe I am lucky enough to call him my (almost) husband.”