Good Things Take Time

Saturday evening, I officiated Emma and Ivan’s trilingual English-Spanish-Hebrew wedding ceremony at the Biltwell Event Center, in Indianapolis, Indiana. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Emma and Ivan’s story is certainly atypical to say the least. Culturally Jewish American girl from Chicagoland meets Devout Christian Guatamalan boy in Columbus, Indiana might get sent back to you marked, “Rewrite, lacks believability,” if you wrote it into a screenplay. If you had the chutzpah, the audacity, to write in that screenplay that they met in a kickboxing program, you might get the screenplay thrown in your face. Truth IS at times stranger than fiction.

Ivan describes this very real “boy meets girl, boy tries not to get kicked in the face by girl” story, “My initial plan was to try something new, but to my surprise, this was the very place where I met the most beautiful girl I have ever seen. Emma joined this program way before me. Lucky for me, she decided to come back just for fun… We started a beautiful friendship outside kickboxing. After a while, I knew I was ready to let her know I was in love, with her personality, transparency, honesty, and beauty. However, she was cautious and decided to take things slow, but I knew I needed to be patient. I told myself, ‘Good things take time.’”

Here's what Emma says actually happened in the beginning stages of their relationship, “I told him time and time again when we first started seeing one another that we would not be a serious relationship.” Ouch! She explains, though, “On paper, we have very little in common.” It is hard to argue with that.  So, how did they get here, after all? In one word: character. 

Emma elaborates on that seemingly neutral statement of Ivan, about good things taking time, “Ivan has the most amount of grit and tenacity I've ever seen in someone.” Interestingly, the more we learn about the science of the mind, we learn how central these traits are to success in life. Sometimes, however, the experiences that grow these traits in us can leave the individual callous. This is why what Emma adds about Ivan is key. She says he has, “a truly kind soul. I admire his thoughtfulness, his empathy, and his ability for identifying,” with the other. 

In these descriptions, Emma exhibits a deep awareness she may not even be fully cognizant of. Unfortunately, most of us in America do not describe people first and foremost by speaking of their character. Emma does. What stands out to her, what eroded her initial very logical resistance to Ivan’s persistence was her recognition of his character. This, in turn, shows her true and genuine character, which drew Ivan to her in the first place, creating this virtuous cycle. 

This is why Ivan says, “Although we both come from two different worlds, we always have found a way to put everything aside and see each other for who we really are… Even though we have only known each other for over three years, I feel I have known Emma all my life.” This is why Emma says, “He is really my best friend and partner and I am so excited to share this moment with our loved ones!”