I always ask couples two
questions that coming from anybody else in any other circumstance, would be
considered highly rude. Why do you want to get married, and why now? These are
really important questions, and couples should know how to answer them, for
their own sake. As you might imagine, I get a huge variety of answers. However,
Chris' answer to this question stands out, even among the myriad of other
grooms who quote Ancient Greek philosophers:
"Plato wrote that
humans were once male and female and had four arms four legs. Zeus was
threatened by humans, and so he split them into two beings. From then every
human would forever long for his or her other half, the other half of his or
her soul. It is said that when the two find each other, there is an unspoken
understanding of one another, that they feel unified, that they would lie with
each other in unity and would know no greater joy than that. Nothing,"
ends Chris, "better describes how I feel about Kimmy and why I want to marry
her and marry her now."
Wow. Isn't that cool?! I am
not entirely sure, but I think this is why Kim calls Chris her lobster. (They
have four legs right?) Then again, how much can a rabbi really understand about
seafood...?
Now the interesting thing is
that this legend exists in the Judeo-Christian tradition too. In fact, it lies
at the heart of the often misunderstood second creation story in Genesis. The
way we usually understand the story is that God takes one of Adam's ribs and
builds from it woman. However, a closer reading of the Hebrew reveals that this
translation, found in the King James Bible is wrong. The words for rib and side
are interchangeable, and the correct interpretation is that God slices the
primordial Adam into two - two sides that were up until then one.
Now, you might ask, if this
story found both in Plato's writings and in the Hebrew Bible reflects a certain
truth, why is it that we don't all experience love at first sight, when we find
that other half? Kim and Chris in their stories about themselves and each other
address that, in fact. For though there are beautiful lessons to be learned
from creation myths, we know as Judaism and Episcopalian Christianity
acknowledge, that this world was not created, ad nihilo. None of our worlds
spring fully grown out of nothing, and that is a good thing. This world, all
worlds, in the collective sense and the individual sense, evolve. Kim vividly
describes how she had to evolve to the point, where she could seek her long
lost half, Chris. Chris vividly describes how he had to evolve to the point,
where he could seek his long lost half, Kim. And when they came together, they
did indeed feel that unspoken understanding of one another, but they still had
to evolve as a couple. With time, with growth, with learning, with faith, and
with love of themselves and of each other, they evolved and reached that moment
of unity, where they would know no greater joy.
In this, in the tension we
must exist in, between finding what and who was created for us, and that towards
which we must evolve, Kim and Chris teach us a huge lesson, one we would all do
well to heed.
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