Shared Values

On Tuesday, December 31, 2024, Reverend Heather Mustain and I co-officiated Hannah and Chase’s wedding ceremony at the Las Colinas Country Club in Irving, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

How this relationship came to be is almost out of a rom com, which if you think about it is very apt for a New Year’s Eve wedding, New Year’s being all about new beginnings. 

Hannah and Chase were set up by Chase's cousin, Amber Leigh, who is Cash's mom. As Chase was moving back to Dallas, Amber Leigh thought he needed a girlfriend and had the perfect match in mind: Hannah. They hit it off over the phone, talking for weeks with effortless, long conversations, eagerly awaiting the chance to meet in person.

Hannah says, “I remember picking Chase up from the airport on our first date and being so nervous. The moment I saw him, I thought he was such a cutie. I loved that our outfits matched! It felt like we were already in sync!”

Chase says, “When I walked out of security, I saw the most joyful, and beautiful girl who ran up to me and gave me the biggest hug. I knew this was going somewhere… it didn't take me long to figure it out.”

What Hannah and Chase really teach us, though, is what matters spiritually in a relationship. Shared values are paramount.

Chase says, “I believe how people live and treat others is more important than the specific religion they follow. I value personal responsibility, integrity, and how one impacts the world around them. I align with the idea that morality, kindness, and purpose are universal values that transcend religious labels. Both in this life and after, is shaped by the character we build through daily actions.”

Hannah agrees: “My spiritual journey has been a tapestry of exploration and self-discovery. Growing up in a household that valued both tradition and open-mindedness, I was encouraged to ask questions and seek my own understanding of faith…

Respecting others and striving to be good people are core beliefs that we both hold dear. We believe in treating others with kindness and respect, and this shared value has created a harmonious and loving environment in our relationship.” 

Thank you, Hannah and Chase, for inspiring us not only in the wonderful way you met and began your relationship, but more importantly in how you live your lives, as individuals and as a couple.

Endlessly Grateful

On Friday, December 20, 2024, I officiated Jessica and Stephen’s wedding ceremony at the 4 Eleven in Fort Worth, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Jessica and Stephen teach us two important lessons, the power of good fortune, the good fortune they found in meeting each other, and the importance of a concrete foundation of friendship in the life of every romantic couple, a foundation they carefully cultivated at the beginning of their relationship.

Stephen describes the genesis of their relationship: “In August of 2022, Jessica came in to interview for a bartender position at the bar I was managing. We quickly became friends, though initially, I wasn’t ready for a romantic relationship… Fortunately, Jessica was patient, and we built a solid foundation of friendship over the next several months.” 

Jessica describes how they built that solid foundation: “We went on platonic dates, to the State Fair of Texas (where he assumed I knew my way around—I didn’t, and he would unintentionally lose me around corners), to concerts, where I assumed the role of passenger princess and requested unnecessary stops at In ‘N Out, to taking me out to lunch at Enchiladas Ole, when my cat (PB) was sick, and he knew I was at home worrying my head off, to then helping me chase said sick cat around my apartment because of a mandatory IV drip that had to be given because even the vet could not wrangle her. We bonded over shared experiences and small moments, and he made me laugh with his sense of humor. He also became a formidable foe in Wordle and remains one today.”

Jessica also describes what changed their relationship: “On Christmas Eve, 2022, my flight to visit my best friend was canceled due to an airline debacle, and Stephen invited me to spend the holiday with his family. Their warmth and hospitality were unforgettable, and that night marked a turning point in our relationship.”

Stephen confirms this, when he says, “We eventually started dating in February 2023. We moved in together shortly after.” And he adds, “It didn’t take long to know that I wanted to marry Jessica. By the time I was 35, I had a clear understanding of what I wanted in life, and she checked all the boxes… I knew that she was the one for me. In the spring of 2024, I proposed to her… I’m still not sure what I did to deserve so much love from such an amazing person, but I’m not going to question it.”

Jessica reflects this sentiment right back to Stephen: “Life hasn’t always been easy, but the challenges I’ve faced have shaped me into the person I am today… Meeting Stephen feels like a culmination of everything I’ve learned about love, resilience, and self-discovery. He came into my life at precisely the right time, and together, we’re building a future that feels hopeful and full of possibility… I am endlessly grateful…”.

Height of Serendipity

On Saturday, December 14, 2024, I officiated Julia and Matt’s wedding ceremony at The Breakers Palm Beach in Palm Beach, Florida. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Julia and Matt meeting each other was the height of serendipity. Julia says: “Matt and I met in Florida, when I was on vacation with my family one weekend. He was living there at the time as his work in solar moved him to the Sunshine State.” Matt adds: “Julia and I met in downtown Delray. I was out because my friend was DJing and of course Jules was there because she loves to dance. I actually almost didn’t go because I was exhausted from working all week but something inside me knew it was going to be a special time.” 

Julia says, “We locked eyes and started chatting. Matt was looking at me all night. I remember being instantly drawn to his goofy energy and his loud laugh.” Matt says that he noticed this pretty, tall, blonde girl kept staring at him and so he decided to take his best shot. Julia disputes this: “Matt will say that I was across the room looking at him, but I swear, he was the one staring at me!” I guess we will never know the truth, but it doesn’t really matter. Something unique happened the day Julia and Matt met. A day hasn’t gone by that they have not spoken ever since.  

Julia remembers being worried about how things would work out as the long-distance posed a tricky obstacle – her living in Connecticut and him living in Florida – but Matt wasn’t worried. The day after they first met, Matt told his mom, Bonnie, and his Uncle Greg that he had met the woman he was going to marry.  

When talking about Julia, Matt says, “She is the most special person I’ve ever met. We are both fiery personalities and when we are together, our flames burn the brightest. She inspires me to want to be a better person for her and our future children. I truly believe we were meant to be.”

When talking about Matt, Julia says: “After I met Matt, I felt like I could finally take a deep breath because everything was going to be okay. He is such a strong person and not just physically, although his muscles are easy on the eyes! His big smile and silly laugh always remind me not to take life or myself too seriously. I know that life with Matt will always be a beautiful adventure.” 

She adds that “Matt makes me feel understood, seen, loved, and safe…Well not always safe… like the time when he took me fishing on a boat in the middle of the ocean in the pouring rain with ten-foot waves and then caught a shark.”

In all seriousness, though, feeling seen may be the most important thing partners can do for each other. As Kirk Pineda writes, “Feeling seen is a state in which a part (or parts) of our identity, emotions, needs, and physical being are fully recognized and reflected back to us by another.” Julia and Matt, may you continue to mutually feel seen, loved, and at least while on dry land, safe too.

Listen to Your Heart

On Saturday, December 7, 2024, I officiated Brielle and Jared’s wedding ceremony at Rancho Luna Escondido in San Miguel de Allende, México. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Brielle describes the genesis of their relationship: “A little more than three years ago, my life took a turn for the better when I swiped right on Bumble and Jared, and I matched. As a huge fan of reality TV, particularly Bravo shows, I was immediately drawn to his profile when I saw that he shared this interest. We both were not great at responding on the apps, and Jared gave me his number to text.” 

Jared picks up the story from there: “When Brielle and I first started talking, I noticed she ended every sentence with at least one exclamation mark—sometimes up to five or six. I was struck by how upbeat and happy she seemed, even through text. I wouldn’t describe myself as the most cheerful person, so interacting with someone so genuinely positive was captivating. I later realized that this was her natural demeanor—she's truly one of the happiest people I've ever met.”

Their first date almost didn’t happen. Brielle says, “We started to text and tried to arrange a date. Jared had to reschedule our date…twice and even suggested that I could opt out if I wished. I joked and said, ‘Wow, already trying to get out of meeting me.’ As I joked, I figured why not try once more. Something in my gut told me to meet him, and I am grateful I followed that instinct.”

Following that instinct truly paid off. As Jared says, “Brielle and I have spent the last three years building a life together, sharing incredible highs and navigating serious lows... Throughout it all, we've been each other’s support system, confidant, cheerleader, and best friend. I truly couldn’t imagine a better partner or a happier life. I wake up every day feeling incredibly lucky and grateful to have found her.”

Brielle agrees: “Jared is my best friend, my soul mate, my home, and my partner in every adventure. We love exploring the world together, trying out restaurants as well as going to our usuals, watching movies, plays, and musicals, playing games… and simply enjoying each other’s company. Whether we are working out, taking walks, or binge-watching TV shows, every moment spent with him is filled with happiness, laughter, and even more love…” 

As a child of the 80s, I believe the lesson Brielle and Jared teach us is simple to me, as the Swedish duo Roxette put it years ago: 

“Listen to your heart

When he's calling for you

Listen to your heart

There's nothing else you can do

I don't know where you're going

And I don't know why

But listen to your heart

Before you tell him goodbye”

Thank you, Brielle and Jared, for this valuable lesson. Thank you for listening to your heart. May we all learn from your example.

Living Our Journey

On Saturday, November 30, 2024, I officiated Laura and Greg’s wedding ceremony at Shully's in Thiensville, Wisconsin. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Laura and Greg very much value this idea of lifelong learning. They see their journeys individually and with each other as journeys of learning. They try to live their lives in what one might call a teachable fashion, setting an example for their children. They see this moment, specifically, as a teachable moment. 

Greg recounts how it all started: “I met Laura (I call her Ella) in Clearwater Beach, Florida in March 2020. I was there on vacation with a college friend. Coincidentally and little did we know, we were staying at the same hotel as Ella. Ella and I met in the hotel gym at around noon on a weekday. Looking back, there is no question in my mind that Ella and I met due to divine intervention. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of factors, that I can list that would have prevented our meeting in the gym.”

Laura agrees and elaborates on the teachable aspect of this moment: “Greg offers me the safety and the sense of belonging together as if it was ‘beschert’ (meant to be). We share the same vision of a blended family and support each of our children in their endeavors. We both share a deep sense of familial connection and feel that marriage will offer our ‘kinder’ stability and balance. It shows them that marital commitment matters and that it is a key factor for their future...”

Greg talks about the nature of their relationship and what it does for each of them: “Ella and I have enjoyed a strong bond since we met that has blossomed into a special relationship. From the beginning, our relationship has been easy and organic. I made the decision to marry Ella after realizing that our partnership is stronger than the two of us individually. My life is better and has more meaning when Ella is part of it. I look forward to continuing my growth and fostering her growth within our partnership; that growth being the true act of love.”

Laura agrees and once again elaborates on the significance of this moment: “I firmly believe we humans are not meant to be islands. We need other humans to interact with and a partner to share our life with. In Greg, I found a partner who offers emotional support, a sense of belonging that makes every hardship in my life easier, and a great companion… We mutually complete each other. Our house watcher in Arizona refers to us Yin and Yang… 

We are all on this life train, living our journey. The truth is, we will all get off at different stations but until then, we need to be an example and build a legacy for generations to come… There is no such thing as a perfect life, but I do believe that there are perfect moments in time.”

Still Get Butterflies

On Saturday, November 16, 2024, Dr. Chris Girata and I co-officiated Emily and Spencer’s wedding ceremony at The Adolphus in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Emily describes the genesis of their relationship, and how their platonic relationship took a romantic turn: “Spencer and I met in the summer of 2018… at a party in Dallas, and we became fast friends… Over the years I would come back to DFW to visit friends in the area, always excited to run into Spencer. 

That is when I developed a crush on him but never thought of the possibility of making it work long distance. Until he decided to ask me to be his girlfriend in the summer of 2019 before I went back to school again. I remember thinking hey, I like him, what do I have to lose? Turns out it was the best decision I have ever made.”

Spencer agrees with that last statement, as he explains why he wants to marry Emily: “I know that I’ve met my soulmate. She is all that’s good in the world. Emily is beautiful, smart, patient, loving and kind. She is everything that I could ask for in a wife. She is my best friend…”

Emily echoes some of Spencer’s language: “He is my biggest supporter, my best friend, my favorite person to do anything with. Every painful situation, errand, or negative aspect of life is instantly brightened with his presence. I still get butterflies even talking about him after almost five years of dating.” 

As a child of the 80s, I believe the lesson Emily and Spencer teach us is simple to me, as the Swedish duo Roxette put it years ago, “Listen to your heart.” Thank you, Emily and Spencer, for this valuable lesson. Thank you for listening to your heart. May we all learn from your example.

Always Have Fun in the Process

On Saturday, November 9, 2024, I officiated Emily and Bryson’s wedding ceremony at Warwick Melrose Hotel in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

The beginning of their relationship almost didn’t. Begin, I mean. Emily says: “Bryson and I matched on Bumble, and I sent him a message that he later told me was not a good opening line, however, he still replied so how bad was it really? I said ‘heyy’ and he wrote back a comment about my Halloween costume – Maverick from Top Gun. A few days later, he asked me out for drinks and later admitted I was his second date of the day.”

Wow. I bet you too are wondering; how does he dig his way out of that one? I mean, obviously he did, because, duh, we’re here, but how?

Bryson says: “Fun side note, Emily was technically my second date of the day but the only one of the two that I actually cared about.”

Nice save, bro, nice save…

Emily continues: “The plan was to meet at Harwood arms. Bryson was 5 minutes early and I was 5 minutes late. I went home from the date thinking that this was either going to be the guy I married or the greatest heartbreak. Thankfully, it is the former.”

So, why does Emily want to marry Bryson? She says: “Bryson is the most genuine person I have met. He is true to himself and does not let the outside world affect him. We are very different people with very different backgrounds, but I believe that makes our relationship stronger. Since the day we met, we challenged each other. He makes me approach situations differently and we have a good balance… Bryson makes me a better person and provides new perspectives, and I hope I do the same for him.”

And why does Bryson want to marry Emily? He speaks of some of the same themes Emily does, but he also says this: “When I was starting my professional career, I had a conversation with a mentor and he asked me what I wanted from a job (I promise this is relevant to the question). Trying to sound thoughtful and engaged I came up with a few different ideas but as I was talking, he stopped me and said: ‘You want a job that is fun’... 

As time has gone on, I am more and more convinced he is right. More than that, however, I am fully convinced that it applies not just to my job but to my life and my relationship. And it is the main reason why I want to marry Emily.

Sometimes I think this answer is too simplistic and that I need a laundry list of reasons that I can rattle off when asked this question. But every time I think about it, I keep coming back to the fact that since the first night we met it has essentially been 3+ years of nonstop fun. Whether we are traveling, with family and friends, or just sitting in our living room with our dog, we find a way to have fun with each other. When I think of what I want in my life going forward, I could not think of anything better.”

What more can we wish for you, Emily and Bryson? May you continue to be genuine, balance each other out, make each other better, and always always have fun in the process.