Angie and Jonathan are such a sweet couple. They are quiet and contemplative, and have fascinating stories. They reside and married right here in our beloved Frisco. Here are my remarks to them:
Angie and Jonathan exhibit a fascinating mix of qualities in their relationship that we all can learn from. They were very methodical about their relationship from the moment it began, and they have been methodical all along in carefully developing and nurturing it. Sometimes, and this is probably Hollywood's fault, method and planning in a relationship get a bad rap. In the real world, however, and any married person will tell you this, those who are methodical come out ahead, as long as one includes a large degree of flexibility in the mix. Indeed, one of the things that struck me about Angie and Jonathan is just how flexible and adaptable they have been throughout their lives as individuals and as a couple. It seems, therefore, that they have that important aspect covered too.
How are they able to be so methodical and flexible, an all too rare combination, I might add? I believe that this is because they both are very good at self reflection. Throughout their lives they have been able to step outside themselves, and reflect on who they are, where they are going, and where they want to be. It is this rare ability that enable one to take a relationship to the next level. It is this quality that, in Angie's words, enables us to share not only our lives with our lovers, but to share our very selves with them.
Angie and Jonathan, you are both not persons of many words. You speak rather through your actions. May you continue to inspire others through actively living your lives the best possible way a loving couple could.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Awake and Alive
Jami and Steven know each other from childhood. Their paths intersected many times in life, until a few years ago they fell in love. Their wedding was planned by them and their kids, and they call themselves the Spalvisairowans, which a combination of all of the last names their eight person clan shares. Here are the remarks I shared with them:
One of the things Jami and Steven emphasized time and again was that this wedding was about way more than just them. It was about them and their kids coming together as one big blended family. So, I tried to think about all the things they told me about how they live their lives as individuals and as a couple. I asked myself what might be their message for you not in words, but in that very way they live together and come together today to make your being one big family official.
What struck me about Jami and Steven is that they truly savor life, as individuals and as a couple. This reminded me of a song I heard, since I share an iTunes account with my 17 year old daughter. It's called Awake and Alive by Skillet. Here are a few words from the song:
... When my faith is getting weak
And I feel like giving in
You breathe into me again
I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
... Waking up in the dark
I can feel you in my sleep
In your arms, I feel you breathe into me
Forever hold this heart that I will give to you
Forever I will live for you.
What does it mean to be awake and alive? Being awake and alive is not about being perfect. It is not about not making mistakes. It is not about never having challenges. Being awake and alive is about being imperfect and making it work. It is about making mistakes and using them as opportunities to learn. It is about grabbing challenges by the horns, and having them propel you forward.
So, what is it we wish for you, all of you Spalvisairowans? That you indeed live your lives in such a fashion, that live awake and alive, as one big happy family.
One of the things Jami and Steven emphasized time and again was that this wedding was about way more than just them. It was about them and their kids coming together as one big blended family. So, I tried to think about all the things they told me about how they live their lives as individuals and as a couple. I asked myself what might be their message for you not in words, but in that very way they live together and come together today to make your being one big family official.
What struck me about Jami and Steven is that they truly savor life, as individuals and as a couple. This reminded me of a song I heard, since I share an iTunes account with my 17 year old daughter. It's called Awake and Alive by Skillet. Here are a few words from the song:
... When my faith is getting weak
And I feel like giving in
You breathe into me again
I'm awake, I'm alive
Now I know what I believe inside
... Waking up in the dark
I can feel you in my sleep
In your arms, I feel you breathe into me
Forever hold this heart that I will give to you
Forever I will live for you.
What does it mean to be awake and alive? Being awake and alive is not about being perfect. It is not about not making mistakes. It is not about never having challenges. Being awake and alive is about being imperfect and making it work. It is about making mistakes and using them as opportunities to learn. It is about grabbing challenges by the horns, and having them propel you forward.
So, what is it we wish for you, all of you Spalvisairowans? That you indeed live your lives in such a fashion, that live awake and alive, as one big happy family.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
To Life!
Last week I was fortunate enough to officiate a baby naming for Stephanie and Steven's little guy in Allen, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:
Chaim's Hebrew name made me think about a little anecdote told by John Lennon: "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life."
Stephanie and Steven, you clearly understand life. When I asked you what your dreams were for Chaim, you talked about how important it was for you, that he find love, and comfort and happiness.
How does one find love, and comfort and happiness? Well, I believe that the best way is through the other hopes you had for Chaim, namely, that he be his own individual person, that he accept everybody, that he be good and caring. I believe that it is through these attributes that one may find happiness.
This reminded me of a Yiddish word, that conveys those attributes, Mensch. What is a mensch? Well, like many Yiddish words it is way too rich to explain in one or two words. According to Leo Rosten in the Joys of Yiddish, “A mensch is someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character. The key to being ‘a real mensch’ is nothing less than character, rectitude, dignity, a sense of what is right, responsible.”
Stephanie and Steven, we all hope and pray your dreams for Chaim will come true. Through this may you and he find complete, utter and true happiness, and make the world a better place too.
Chaim's Hebrew name made me think about a little anecdote told by John Lennon: "When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down ‘happy’. They told me I didn’t understand the assignment, and I told them they didn’t understand life."
Stephanie and Steven, you clearly understand life. When I asked you what your dreams were for Chaim, you talked about how important it was for you, that he find love, and comfort and happiness.
How does one find love, and comfort and happiness? Well, I believe that the best way is through the other hopes you had for Chaim, namely, that he be his own individual person, that he accept everybody, that he be good and caring. I believe that it is through these attributes that one may find happiness.
This reminded me of a Yiddish word, that conveys those attributes, Mensch. What is a mensch? Well, like many Yiddish words it is way too rich to explain in one or two words. According to Leo Rosten in the Joys of Yiddish, “A mensch is someone to admire and emulate, someone of noble character. The key to being ‘a real mensch’ is nothing less than character, rectitude, dignity, a sense of what is right, responsible.”
Stephanie and Steven, we all hope and pray your dreams for Chaim will come true. Through this may you and he find complete, utter and true happiness, and make the world a better place too.
Monday, April 2, 2012
Trying to Make the World a Little Better
Alex and Brian are a very special couple. Alex is a teacher and Brian works for a health-related non-profit. They are both not only devoted to helping people, but are really positive people too. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests at Old Red in Dallas, Texas this last Sunday:
Capitalism, to paraphrase Churchill, is the worst economic system, except for all of the rest of them. Still the financial crisis has taken the bloom just a little bit off of the rose. It is in this context that we understand how much we should admire people like Alex and Brian, who have devoted their professional lives to a higher calling than capital in the non-profit world. They spend their every working day, just trying to make the world a little better. Heck, they even decided to celebrate the best day of their lives, today, at Old Red, a non-profit!
Not surprisingly, one of the most important dimensions of their mutual relationship is how they themselves feel they are better individuals because they have each other. Indeed, Brian says "I am a very lucky man to have met her and I’m even luckier that she fell in love with me." Alex says it in a similar vein, "Brian challenges me and pushes me to be a better version of myself."
It is this very approach towards bettering the world and themselves that causes Brian to reflect about Alex, in words that in my eyes really epitomize them both, "I think she puts so much positive energy into the world that it leaves everyone she encounters with positive ions buzzing around her."
Thank you, Alex and Brian, for setting such a great example for how to make the world a much better place. May you continue to serve as an inspiration for the rest of us.
Capitalism, to paraphrase Churchill, is the worst economic system, except for all of the rest of them. Still the financial crisis has taken the bloom just a little bit off of the rose. It is in this context that we understand how much we should admire people like Alex and Brian, who have devoted their professional lives to a higher calling than capital in the non-profit world. They spend their every working day, just trying to make the world a little better. Heck, they even decided to celebrate the best day of their lives, today, at Old Red, a non-profit!
Not surprisingly, one of the most important dimensions of their mutual relationship is how they themselves feel they are better individuals because they have each other. Indeed, Brian says "I am a very lucky man to have met her and I’m even luckier that she fell in love with me." Alex says it in a similar vein, "Brian challenges me and pushes me to be a better version of myself."
It is this very approach towards bettering the world and themselves that causes Brian to reflect about Alex, in words that in my eyes really epitomize them both, "I think she puts so much positive energy into the world that it leaves everyone she encounters with positive ions buzzing around her."
Thank you, Alex and Brian, for setting such a great example for how to make the world a much better place. May you continue to serve as an inspiration for the rest of us.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
I Fall in Love With Him Every Time I See Him!
This last Saturday I officiated Ben and Sean's wedding in St. Paul, Minnesota. Now, Minnesota may be cold, in terms of climate, but this wedding was full of energy, love and warmth. It also had the biggest Chuppah I ever officiated under. Here are the remarks I shared with this special couple and their guests:
I wanted to let you in on a secret regarding my creative process. When I want to write personal remarks like these, I find that listening to music is helpful. (Maybe it is similar to figure skating in that sense, Ben...) Now, sharing an iTunes account with my 17.5 year old daughter means that sometimes hitting shuffle on my iPod is shall we say, an "interesting" experience. I know this will make me sound like the quintessential dorky dad (which is what my daughter is sure I am), but she is into some songs that I would not ever find on my own... In all seriousness, though, that can be a wonderful thing, like it ended up being in this case.
When I sat down to write these remarks, the song that came on was one by a German techno artist, who goes by the moniker, Cascada. Here is what I heard:
'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.
This reminded me of something Sean wrote in describing his love for Ben, "I fall in love with him every time I see him." How beautiful is that! Isn't that what we all hope for in a relationship with a spouse?
Now, it is important to clarify how genuine this sentiment is. You see, Ben and Sean have not only been together for a good while; they have withstood the ultimate test, one that usually will separate the men from the boys, so to speak, a lengthy long distance relationship. Ben and Sean not only endured through this challenge, they thrived through it.
Set upon that background, the feeling of falling in love every time you see your lover is a deeply meaningful and genuine one. This tells you that what Ben and Sean have here is tremendously unique and special. This tells you that they are indeed in Ben's words, "ready to pronounce and announce [their] love and commitment to each other in front of all of the people [they] most love." Not only that, it tells us that we can, by observing them, their love and their relationship, learn a thing or two.
So, Ben and Sean, thank you for this wonderful lesson. May you and we continue to cherish our lovers and fall in love every time we see them.
I wanted to let you in on a secret regarding my creative process. When I want to write personal remarks like these, I find that listening to music is helpful. (Maybe it is similar to figure skating in that sense, Ben...) Now, sharing an iTunes account with my 17.5 year old daughter means that sometimes hitting shuffle on my iPod is shall we say, an "interesting" experience. I know this will make me sound like the quintessential dorky dad (which is what my daughter is sure I am), but she is into some songs that I would not ever find on my own... In all seriousness, though, that can be a wonderful thing, like it ended up being in this case.
When I sat down to write these remarks, the song that came on was one by a German techno artist, who goes by the moniker, Cascada. Here is what I heard:
'Cause everytime we touch, I get this feeling.
And everytime we kiss I swear I could fly.
Can't you feel my heart beat fast, I want this to last.
Need you by my side.
'Cause everytime we touch, I feel the static.
And everytime we kiss, I reach for the sky.
Can't you hear my heart beat so...
I can't let you go.
Want you in my life.
This reminded me of something Sean wrote in describing his love for Ben, "I fall in love with him every time I see him." How beautiful is that! Isn't that what we all hope for in a relationship with a spouse?
Now, it is important to clarify how genuine this sentiment is. You see, Ben and Sean have not only been together for a good while; they have withstood the ultimate test, one that usually will separate the men from the boys, so to speak, a lengthy long distance relationship. Ben and Sean not only endured through this challenge, they thrived through it.
Set upon that background, the feeling of falling in love every time you see your lover is a deeply meaningful and genuine one. This tells you that what Ben and Sean have here is tremendously unique and special. This tells you that they are indeed in Ben's words, "ready to pronounce and announce [their] love and commitment to each other in front of all of the people [they] most love." Not only that, it tells us that we can, by observing them, their love and their relationship, learn a thing or two.
So, Ben and Sean, thank you for this wonderful lesson. May you and we continue to cherish our lovers and fall in love every time we see them.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Brittany and David – An Ambitious Pair
Brittany and David were a fun pair to work with. This is one ambitious couple! They are working on the third company they have founded. When you see them with each other, you might see fireworks, not just because they are in love. One of their companies actually does fireworks shows! Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:
One of the first things Brittany noticed about David was his ambition and inner drive. She felt it set him apart from other guys she had met in the same type of musical setting she met David in, and she really liked that. David, in turn, says that when he met Brittany he felt that he found a kindred independent minded ambitious spirit. Indeed, just being around Brittany and David's energy has an infectious quality to it. You can really see how they have been so successful in their professional lives.
Now, sometimes such ambition and drive, though they are the engine of our way of life, can get in the way of, well, life, especially life together. Not in Brittany and David's case. They simply have a zest for life and a passion for each other, that is once again infectious. These two share so many passions. They travel together, they shoot fireworks together, they scuba dive together, they even gourmet cook together.
So, Brittany and David, thank you for inspiring others to be passionate and ambitious too. What is it we wish for you? That you continue to follow your passions in work and play, that you continue to share a passion for life, and that your mutual passion only grow stronger with every passing day.
One of the first things Brittany noticed about David was his ambition and inner drive. She felt it set him apart from other guys she had met in the same type of musical setting she met David in, and she really liked that. David, in turn, says that when he met Brittany he felt that he found a kindred independent minded ambitious spirit. Indeed, just being around Brittany and David's energy has an infectious quality to it. You can really see how they have been so successful in their professional lives.
Now, sometimes such ambition and drive, though they are the engine of our way of life, can get in the way of, well, life, especially life together. Not in Brittany and David's case. They simply have a zest for life and a passion for each other, that is once again infectious. These two share so many passions. They travel together, they shoot fireworks together, they scuba dive together, they even gourmet cook together.
So, Brittany and David, thank you for inspiring others to be passionate and ambitious too. What is it we wish for you? That you continue to follow your passions in work and play, that you continue to share a passion for life, and that your mutual passion only grow stronger with every passing day.
A Zest for Life
Rita and Lawrence had a very special wedding with a Celtic theme and Celtic rituals. They each wore a tartan, they “tied the knot”, but literally, and drank their shared cup of wine out of a quache (pronounced “quake”). Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:
What most strikes me about Rita and Lawrence is the sense that these two individuals see life as an adventure. They truly love and enjoy life. They love learning, they love trying new things, and they love helping others. Their zest for life is infectious, and so they help others not only through explicit action, but just by being who they are. What is their secret? How did they become who they are, and how do they radiate positivity the way they do?
I believe that consciously or unconsciously, this is due to an explicit choice. You see, Rita and Lawrence, have both “been around the block” once or twice, so to speak. They have each had a few more challenges than the average person. They have each had to deal with a few more things in life, than would even seem fair. When that happens to a person, when life throws a person a few more curveballs than one might expect, there are really two choices you have. You can let life’s events drag you down. In fact, it is easy to do so. Beyond that, no one could blame you, and no one could judge you, if that is what happened.
That said, there is another choice, choice being the key word. You see, we can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose how to relate to it. We can choose to say, “Wow, these challenges I have had motivate me to enjoy the good things in life, to enjoy people, and to help other people enjoy, even more than the average person does. In fact, because I have experienced suffering, I am going to grab the good that life offers me by the horns, and really take advantage of it.”
I believe that that is the choice Rita and Lawrence made, separately and as a couple. I believe that that is how and why they have such an inspiring zest for life, learning and helping others. So, Rita and Lawrence, what is it we wish for you? Well, that would be simple. Keep doing what you’re doing. Continue to enjoy all the things you do. Keep on radiating your positivity. Continue to brighten your surroundings, individually and together.
What most strikes me about Rita and Lawrence is the sense that these two individuals see life as an adventure. They truly love and enjoy life. They love learning, they love trying new things, and they love helping others. Their zest for life is infectious, and so they help others not only through explicit action, but just by being who they are. What is their secret? How did they become who they are, and how do they radiate positivity the way they do?
I believe that consciously or unconsciously, this is due to an explicit choice. You see, Rita and Lawrence, have both “been around the block” once or twice, so to speak. They have each had a few more challenges than the average person. They have each had to deal with a few more things in life, than would even seem fair. When that happens to a person, when life throws a person a few more curveballs than one might expect, there are really two choices you have. You can let life’s events drag you down. In fact, it is easy to do so. Beyond that, no one could blame you, and no one could judge you, if that is what happened.
That said, there is another choice, choice being the key word. You see, we can’t choose what happens to us, but we can choose how to relate to it. We can choose to say, “Wow, these challenges I have had motivate me to enjoy the good things in life, to enjoy people, and to help other people enjoy, even more than the average person does. In fact, because I have experienced suffering, I am going to grab the good that life offers me by the horns, and really take advantage of it.”
I believe that that is the choice Rita and Lawrence made, separately and as a couple. I believe that that is how and why they have such an inspiring zest for life, learning and helping others. So, Rita and Lawrence, what is it we wish for you? Well, that would be simple. Keep doing what you’re doing. Continue to enjoy all the things you do. Keep on radiating your positivity. Continue to brighten your surroundings, individually and together.
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