My Destiny

Once again, sharing an iTunes account with my (almost) 18 year old came in handy. Read how, in my remarks to Jeri and David, and their guests:

Jeri and David share a unique love story. It is a story that began years ago. It is a story that involved twists and turns. It is a story that involved an epic journey to where they are today. It is a story of Jeri and David's destiny to be together, as one.

Thinking about Jeri and David reminded me of a song by one of my daughter's favorite singers, a Swedish artist who goes by the moniker, Velvet. The name of the song is "My Destiny", and it could have been written about Jeri and David. Here are a few lines:

Sorrow in my face
Then you would embrace me
There were times I chased every dream
I've been running far to see
My destiny
Has been touched by your heart
My destiny
Never tear us apart
Love is a mirror that shines through your eyes
I've finally realized
How I trust in you
Like you trust in me
I know that we're meant to be

This reminded me of a fascinating Talmudic passage. The Talmud states that 40 days before an embryo is formed, a heavenly voice will exclaim, "the daughter of so and so will marry so and so." Think about that. The rabbis are saying that each of us has that one person we are in fact meant to be with!

Now, that might lead you to think that this whole matchmaking thing is really easy. Not so fast. The Talmud also says that ever since God finished all that heavy lifting involved with creating the world, he devotes most of his time to what? Matchmaking.

So what is going on here? Is marrying one's soul mate a foregone conclusion, or is it something one has to work at?

Jeri and David helped me answer this question. It is really a little bit of both. Anyone who knows Jeri and David, and knows their story, knows that these two belong together. This couple was meant, nay destined, to be together. That said, they also show us that you can't just sit back and wait for fate to take its course. That is not what destiny is all about. Destiny is about making a choice of how and with whom you will share your life and your love. Destiny is about never giving up on your dreams. Destiny is about charting your course towards what is meant to be, and turning it into a reality. Just like Jeri and David did...

Choosing Your Destiny

This last Saturday I co-officiated Meredith and Bert’s wedding in Beaumont, Texas. What a wonderful and warm couple! It was heart-warming to see what tremendous nachas Bert’s 84 year old dad, Irvin, got from my joining the celebration. Dr. Harland Merriam, Meredith’s pastor and a real pro, was a pleasure to work with too, and it was clear that a good time was had by all. Here are some of the words I shared with the couple during the ceremony:

Now, of course, I stand here at a disadvantage to Dr. Merriam, who baptized the bride, while I have known the couple for only a short while. I was struck though by a fascinating aspect of their love story. You see, one thing that both will tell you about the time they met is that neither Meredith nor Bert were looking for a serious relationship. They were co-workers, who found they had some common interests, and developed a friendship. It was only later that they started to date and fell in love.

What that reminded me of is one of the most important lessons for life, and specifically for married life. We have very limited control over our circumstances. If there is anything we as a nation and as individuals have learned over the course of the last two or three years, it is that there are many things in life that we have no control over whatsoever. We do however have control over how we choose to relate to our circumstances. In other words, we cannot choose our fate, but we can choose our destiny.

Meredith and Bert, you had no control over how you met; that was merely fate. But what is it we wish every couple – happiness – that was in your hands. You chose your destiny – to stand before us today to commit yourselves to each other for the rest of your lives. So, Meredith and Bert, thank you. Thank you for reminding us of this important lesson. Now, look into each other’s eyes. As the years go by, take a moment here and there, to do what you are doing right now. Take a moment to forget your circumstances, let what is around you melt away, and remember this very moment, remember your destiny.