Timing is Always Key

In June, Reverend John Kellogg and I co-officiated Elaine and Charlie’s wedding ceremony at Omni Barton Creek in Austin, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests: 

Elaine and Charlie are quite a couple. They complement each other’s differences. They work well as a team. They each have deep connections to their families. They relish the adventure.

Elaine and Charlie’s story is rom-com worthy. Charlie chronicles the beginning of their relationship: “I met Elaine on a night out Downtown. She was tall and beautiful, and we saw each other over the crowd. We made eyes and spent that night dancing and laughing. After that, we dated a few times, and it was happily ever after.”

Oh, sorry, I must have gotten mixed up. That is NOT how he ends the story of the beginning of their relationship. Here is what he actually says: “After that, we dated a few times. I remember brunch and mini golf, but I guess cooking her dinner at my place took it too far too fast, and she decided to cut it off by ghosting me.” Oof!

Elaine explains: “I felt I was too young, and that Charlie wanted something too serious... He was really just intentionally trying to date me… Four years later, I saw him on Bumble and recalled what I did. I swiped on him with the intention of apologizing for what I did way back when. We went on our first-second date and we’ve been together since!”

Many couples I have married have had this type of experience (though perhaps not as amusing, Elaine). I invariably will ask them if they would have gotten together at that time, would it have stuck. Almost always, the answer is no. Timing is always key.

Elaine says, “Timing was a big part in my life. When I originally met Charlie I was in no way ready for a marriage. I was pouring myself into my career and traveling anywhere and everywhere with friends. I think this time for me was absolutely critical to grow and develop as an individual and I’m so thankful I got that opportunity. I didn’t realize how much I would enjoy a different type of life when I met Charlie and I don’t think I would have appreciated his sense of partnership and adventure until later in life.” 

Charlies reiterates this idea of timing being key: “We then started dating again, and I fell for her so fast. She opened her life to me so quickly. She shared all her friends; anything she was doing I could come as well.  We laughed and joked around a lot; I think that was the most important thing. She was super down to earth and that made everything so much fun. 

It hit me how much I loved her one day specifically. For some reason we decided to do yard work at my place, we spent like the whole evening trimming vines, like seriously until it got dark. In my head I was like who is this girl that was okay with this as a date, and why are we having so much fun just doing yard work? Definitely hold on to this girl, so I did with all my might.”

Timing also helps us understand how lucky we are to have our soulmate. Charlie says, “I always wonder what she sees in me because I am not kidding, I am shocked sometimes that she chose me. This is the best deal I have ever closed. I am so lucky to have her.” 

Elaine reflects this sentiment in what sounds like poetry: “My relationship with Charlie has taught me how to love myself more… He wants me to be genuinely happy and help me achieve my dreams. I have this sense of peace and security when I am with him. I couldn’t ask for more.”