Surprise Rabbi and Good People

Saturday evening, I officiated Allison and Michael’s wedding ceremony at the Stroudsmoor Country Inn, in Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania. This ceremony featured an interesting twist. I only revealed I was a rabbi a few minutes in. Here is the explanation for that, taken from the ceremony:

As you may know, like many folks on Staten Island, Allison and Michael were brought up Catholic. It seemed only natural that they would get a Catholic priest to officiate their wedding, and that like all Catholic weddings, it would include the Lord’s Prayer, the Prayers of the Faithful, and the Nuptial Blessing, as I just did.

However, Michael was actually brought up in two traditions. His father is Catholic and his mother is Jewish. So, Allison and Michael thought it would be nice to honor Michael’s heritage and Michael’s father by having a rabbi co-officiate with the priest, and include various Jewish traditions.

Wouldn’t it be cool, though, thought Michael, if they kept this a secret, had the priest begin the ceremony, and then had the rabbi make a dramatic surprise entrance, a few minutes in? They even found a rabbi who was just crazy enough to agree to this hairbrained scheme.

You may wonder why I have not mentioned the priest’s name. Well, that is because, oddly, he pulled out once he heard he would be co-officiating with a rabbi, and they hadn’t even shared Michael’s idea with him. His loss, if you ask me.

So, your average couple would have given up on the “pull the rabbi out of a hat scheme,” but not this couple. They asked me if I would take the place of the priest and just start off the wedding until the rabbi makes his entrance.

Now, you may be asking yourself, why did I ruin the surprise with that explanation. Well, there is one detail that I did leave out. I am the rabbi.

And here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Over the past few months, I have been privileged to get to know Allison and Michael. I quite deliberately use that word. Because though I have only known them for a short while, I feel like each of them, is the kind of person that you might use this grammatically odd colloquialism to define: Oh, Michael? He’s good people. Oh, Allison? She’s good people.

And I believe that even if you happened to crash this wedding, you would get a feel for that. I mean, not everyone can get this many people to cross state lines in a pandemic to come to a wedding. Some of you even had to go through New Jersey. Yikes!

So, what does it take to be “good people”? You may think that I would cite an answer from the Torah or the Talmud. Nope. Here is the basic answer from Kyle Robbins, the founder of – I swear I am not making this up, Michael – “Branding Beard”: “Being a good person is not hard, but it doesn’t just happen. As much as anything else, you have to want to be a good person and make choices that correspond with your beliefs… Here are 15 simple traits of a truly good person.”

Now, I am not going to list all 15. I’m not even 100% sold on all 15, and like I said this is not holy writ. However, some of these really define Allison and Michael:

They are honest in relationships.

They compliment others when deserved.

They are kind to everyone.

They think of others.

They go the extra mile.

They are kind to loved ones.

They smile.

They make the best out of every situation.

They don’t take things for granted.

Here’s the fascinating thing: This is not only a good answer to what makes you good people. If you were to ask what might make you successful in marriage, you couldn’t go that wrong if you were to use the same list.

This is why I agree with Michael when he says, again, I swear I am not making this up, “I feel like we pair together better then peanut butter and jelly, or butter on popcorn.” This is why I believe Allison when she sums up their ten years together, so far, saying, “I wouldn’t change anything in the way it played out.” These good people will definitely make not a good, but a great marriage.