Even if you try to put
yourself in another's shoes, it is impossible not to see the world mostly from
our own vantage point. This is why many times, clergymen will begin speaking by
asking a question, regarding a theological or textual point, that seems
extremely intriguing to them, but that the average person could care less
about...
So, now that I have pointed
out the folly of such an approach, allow me to do it anyway, because this is
really a juicy item. In the Talmud, the foundational book of Jewish Law, on the
first page of Tractate Sotah, an ancient rabbi makes a fascinating statement:
"Forty days before the creation of a child, a heavenly voice issues forth
and proclaims, the daughter of A is for B."
What does that mean? Kelli,
in writing about her relationship with Jeff, elucidates this Talmudic passage:
"I have grown up believing that fairytales really can come true and that
God has that special person already picked out for you. Some people find that
person quickly and for others it takes more time. I am so grateful God led me
to Jeff when he did." I assume by "quickly", she means people
like her, Jeff and her mom, who were in 6th grade, when they met their
soulmates, and by "others take take time", she means late bloomers
like her dad, who was in 8th grade...
Jeff backs up what Kelli
says, and agrees that this seems like a match made in heaven: "Kelli and I
have always been very compatible... We truly do operate under the same
principles and belief system. We have had similar types of friends, we each
study hard, we each work hard... The list goes on and on."
Now, the same Talmudic
passage quotes another ancient rabbi, who says, "They only pair a woman
with a man according to his deeds." Now, that would seem to contradict the
other rabbi's statement, that the match is made before you even come into
being, and the Talmud suggests a somewhat simplistic resolution. I would like
to suggest though, that there is no contradiction.
It is entirely possible for
one to find his or her match quite early, just as this couple did. And you may
believe that this match was made in heaven. The question is, what do you do
next? Do you sit back, and say, "OK, God, you made this match; now make it
work"? Or, do you accept this match, as a gift of potential, a sketch for
what might be, and get to work, to make it into the best relationship possible,
by constant learning and self-improvement?
Well, I think you know which
option I am indicating might be a better bet... Listen to Jeff expound on that:
"We have been there for one another through thick and thin and experiencing
so many of life's challenges with her by my side has taught me so much.
Interestingly enough, I think it has taught her a lot as well!" Kelli
agrees when she says, "We have experienced some of life’s sweetest
milestones and toughest trials, celebrating, laughing and crying together along
the way. I have learned so much about friendship, forgiveness, compromise,
sacrifice, and love..."
And they both understand
that marriage is the next step, where you double down on your commitment to
learn and grow together. As Kelli says, "Marriage... represents a daily
promise to one another to continue to love and accept, support and care for
each other. Marriage is saying that, without a doubt, there is no one in the
entire world that I want to experience life with." That is why Jeff can
confidently say what is mutually true, "I’m so incredibly blessed and I
cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with her."
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