Lacey and Zach don't use
these words, but allow me to: These two are deep thinkers and spiritual
thinkers. It is important to clarify what this does not mean: As they grew into
their own, they found little use for sectarian dogma. Instead, listen to
Lacey's words, which could have been written by Zach too: "I can sum up my
spiritual beliefs as, 'we live for each other.' All that matters is how you
treat, help, and care for others. I don’t believe that there is a 'right'
religion. As my father describes it, 'there are infinite paths to Heaven…'”
And being deep thinkers
often means, that you know you don't have the answers, and you are OK with
that. Now, listen to Zach's words, which could have been written by Lacey too:
"A constant theme throughout my life has been trying to come to a
spiritual understanding of the world given my current set of experiences, and
not letting my lack of complete understanding frustrate me. I don’t have any
answers, I don’t think anybody truly does..."
Our shared traditions
actually encourage this. One of the first acts of the mythical father of our
faiths, Abraham, is stand before God and passionately and directly question
him. We are told very few things about Abraham's life, and so the fact that the
Bible devotes significant verbal "real estate" to this is meant to
remind us that this is as a profoundly religious act.
There is, however, an
important correlate to this. Spiritual contemplation and deep thinking, even
profound questioning, are not sufficient. They can and must move us to act.
Now, if you go back to the Abrahamic legend, he is actually challenging God's
judgment on an issue of social justice. Basically, he is acting as an attorney.
(Maybe, that is why lawyer is #2 on the Jewish Mother MVP - most valuable
profession - list...) Interestingly, this is what caused Lacey to go into law:
"Before going to law school, I volunteered at Catholic Charities of Dallas
Immigration and Legal Services. I wanted to work on the cases that others
avoided. The work was rewarding but frustrating. Often people who had suffered
tremendously couldn’t get a visa because of a technicality and there was
nothing I could do. I decided that I would have the best opportunity to
challenge unjust policies as a lawyer.”
Now, though Zach is
reluctant to say this himself, from Lacey's description, the way that he
approaches medicine (#1 on the above Jewish Mother MVP list) is the same way
she approaches law. (I adjusted this quote a little because - I am not making
this up - the Counselor here wrote it in bullet points...) It is all about
doing the right thing, and helping others: "He is meticulous in always
doing the right thing. He always pushes himself to make the right choice, not
the easy choice. He is compassionate. He takes incredible care of his
patients.... He calmly handled a medical emergency on a plane during a 7 a.m.
flight about a month after he graduated medical school!"
This mutual commitment to
and passion for what is good and right and just, is a great source for their
mutual love. As Lacey says, again in words Zach mirrors back to her regularly
in word and deed, "I want to marry Zach now because he infinitely enriches
my life. He has made me happier than I ever thought possible and is a better
person than I thought I would ever meet."
This is why Zach speaks for
both of them, when says, "I could no longer imagine spending a day of my
life without her companionship. I don’t know how love exists or how it fits in
the world. Those questions don’t bother
me anymore. Nothing bothers me when I
hold her."
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