The morning I sat down to
write these remarks, I saw a picture that Lauren's friend, Monica, posted on
Facebook. There she was with Lauren, at Scarpetta's in Miami Beach miami
Interestingly, just a day or
two prior to writing these remarks, I was talking to another couple about how,
officiating weddings in other parts of the world, I couldn't help but notice
that Europeans and Latin Americans use sashes way more liberally. You know that
person is Mayor or President, because they have a sash! Why don't we do that
more in the U.S. Texas and
New York
Anyway, the bride to be sash
and the hashtag #sayidotothejew reminded me how wonderfully lucky we are to
live in the time we do. Some people pine for a world of yesterday, but not me.
100 years ago, even 40-50 years ago, the society we lived in was very
different. In that society, if Lauren and Doug could even get married, they
probably would have to do so quietly, maybe at the county clerk's office. There
would be no sashes and no hashtags. Perhaps, they would never have gotten
married altogether.
What a profound loss that
would have been! How do I know? Just listen to the way they describe their
relationship. Lauren says: "I knew Doug was different as soon as I met
him. He really listens to my needs and cares about me... Being with Doug made
me realize that what the two of us had doesn't come along very often... Even
though we spent most of our lives apart, we have the same values. Our
relationship has deepened naturally and effortlessly and I know he is the only
one for me."
Wow! Now listen to Doug, who
begins with a description of the beginning of their relationship, and talks
about some of the practical aspects of their relationship: "We spent the
next couple of weeks going on dates and spending a lot of time together. It
quickly became clear that this was someone that was special. Our conversations
flowed. I thought she was beautiful and fun. I also thought it was really great
how many friends she had and how they all said such nice things about her. She
had friends from back in high school (some of them were her roommates) that
reminded me of my friendships with my friends from back in the day. I think it
says a lot about a person when they can keep friends for so long because in
every relationship there will be ups and downs. The important thing is how you
deal with them. I think I'm a pretty practical person and this showed me that
she was as well. I love living with her. I am forced to keep the place cleaner
than I might otherwise would on my own but that's for the best. She's always
appreciative of my cooking and I always enjoy cooking a meal for the two of
us."
The mutual appreciation and
love that is expressed by this couple is summed up well in what Lauren adds:
"I never could have imagined that I would be marrying such an amazing guy
and that the relationship I would have with my future husband would be as
loving and warm as it is."
One of the reasons given for
the breaking of the glass, that will close out this ceremony, is that it is to
remind us, even at a time of great happiness, that the world is still broken.
It is hard to argue with such a statement. However, the extension of that
statement should not be a pining for yesterday. As Lauren and Doug show us, in
words and action, the world of today, the world that allowed them, in a matter
of fact way, to openly court, fall in love and marry is better than any
imagined utopian yesteryear.
Indeed, the world we live in
today is worthy of a special ancient Jewish blessing for happy times and
occasions, a blessing that Lauren and Doug's wedding day is well worthy of:
"Blessed are you Lord, our God, Ruler of the universe, who has given us
life, sustained us, and brought us to THIS time."
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