Ineffable Qualities

Friday night I officiated Julie and Mike’s wedding ceremony at the Maple Manor Hotel in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

One of my first questions to every couple is how they met. More and more often, couples tell me they met online. Frankly, our grandchildren will probably find it odd if we did NOT meet online. Why wouldn't you want the certainty of a computer based algorithm matching you?! It only makes sense.

The thing is that whether meeting online or offline, and our future grand kids are probably right, algorithms are helpful, there are certain ineffable qualities that are difficult to measure, be it with an abacus or with a binary based formula. This is where the secret of Julie and Mike's relationship is instructive.

If you know Julie, Mike's description of her is not surprising: "Julie is one of the most caring people I have ever met. She is quick to put your well-being over hers, and is always there to lend you a hand, or to listen to what’s bothering you. She has an infectious laugh, a smile that lights up a room, and a face that could be on the cover of a magazine."

Now, if you listen to Julie, she'll tell you that many of the qualities that Mike identifies in her, she sees in him. This is at least part of the reason she says, "When I met Mike Gold, my life became complete. I have never felt more secure and safe than I do with him. My heart has found its home."

Hopefully, though, we meet many more people out there with such great qualities. What is that ineffable thing that put this couple over the top? Listen to Mike: "We just clicked. You see, the biggest reason why I want to marry Julie is that she gets me... I’m a little weird and she’s a little weird, so we could be weird together."

That's it. Beyond great qualities that friends might notice, beyond attributes that computers might figure out, there is that mysterious feeling, that this person just gets me, that we can drop all pretenses, shed all masks, and yes, even be weird together.

This is why both Julie and Mike will both tell you, "You can ask any of our mutual friends about this, and they’ll tell you we were made for each other. And (we) truly believe that."