What is True Love

Yesterday I officiated Sivan and Sam's wedding at the beautiful Cala Luna Hotel, in Tamarindo, Costa Rica. Here are my personal remarks:

Many great thinkers have long entertained a seemingly simple question, what is true love? When do I know that what I feel for another person is true love? Now, I say this is only a seemingly simple question because, though the question sounds simple, the answer might not be. In fact, depending on who you ask you will probably get different answers.

One of the best answers I have heard is that true love means caring about the other person's welfare and happiness, as much or more than you care about your own. Anyone who knows Sivan and Sam, knows that this is certainly true regarding their partnership, their relationship, their love.

However, I believe that they take it to another level. Sivan says that Sam has more faith in her, than she has in herself. I sense that this feeling is definitely mutual. They not only care deeply about each other; they profoundly believe in each other.

I further sense that it is this faith, this profound belief in each other that brings about another aspect of the depth of their relationship.

Sam says, "My life is infinitely better with her in it... I feel we are capable of far more together than apart." What is Sam saying here? He is expressing, once again what I believe is a mutually held feeling, that together, as a team, their partnership is greater than the mere sum of its parts. How does one achieve such a unique and special partnership? Again, only by deeply loving one another, and profoundly believing in each other.

So, Sivan and Sam, what we wish for you is simple, that you continue to deeply love and profoundly believe in each other. Through that your bond will be absolutely unbreakable.

An International Love Story

Fifteen months ago in September 2011 I met with Ceci and Jesse in Merida, Mexico, while I was there to officiate a wedding. Thursday (1/3) I returned to that city to close the circle, and officiate theirs. Jesse, who plays in a band, met Ceci, a Merida native, while she was pursuing a culinary arts career in Jesse's hometown of New York. Here are the words I shared with them and their guests:

I first met Ceci and Jesse about fifteen months ago, here in Merida. What struck me the most about them was the equanimity with which they faced challenges that would have been just too much for others.

How did they do it? How did they overcome circumstances that would have brought down lesser individuals and lesser couples?

I believe that they had a number of specific qualities that helped them on their journey.

So many problems that we encounter as individuals and as societies are due to the fact that people cannot or will not step outside of themselves, if you will, and really self reflect. In this area Ceci and Jesse stand apart. They both have a refined ability to self reflect. Through this they are able, even when they encounter great difficulties, to view their situation much more objectively than the average person.

Ceci and Jesse both have a quiet confidence about them, which reflects an inner sense of security and peace. It is this sense of security, that allowed them to take the road less traveled in their individual lives. It is this sense of inner peace that allowed them to truly pursue their dreams, be it in music for Jesse or in the culinary arts for Ceci. Where others just dreamt, they chose to live their dreams. It is this same sense of security and inner peace that helped them work as a team, and overcome the challenges that the world threw at them.

Most importantly, though, is the fact that to Ceci and Jesse living a meaningful life has always been paramount. It is really important to them, as individuals and as a couple, to really have an impact on the lives of others. I would argue that there is no greater meaning we can give to this adventure we call life.

So, there you have it. Self reflection, inner peace and living a life of meaning. Not a bad recipe for overcoming a few bumps in the road. Not a bad recipe for a long lasting marriage either.