Duty, Honor, Country

On Sunday, September 22, 2024, I officiated Alisa and Chris’ wedding ceremony, via Zoom, in Hofu, Japan. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Alisa and Chris are very matter of fact about how they or rather where they met. You might think, maybe they don’t realize that having met at United States Military Academy, known by us mere mortals as West Point, is a big deal. That is not my impression of them or of anyone who attends West Point. 

The very first time I spoke to Alisa, after all, she shared a fun fact about the USMA: half the first graduating class was Jewish. You might think that this is extraordinary given the small number of Jews in America at that time. Not really. The entire graduating class, she told me, were two students. That is a good warning never to let percentages throw you off. 

So, why are Alisa and Chris and many others who attend West Point so matter of fact about it? I believe this stems from their motto and honor code. The motto is simple, “Duty, Honor, Country.” The honor code is simple too, “A cadet will not lie, cheat, steal, or tolerate those who do.”

What lies at the core of these terse sayings? The same simple idea that lies at the core of most religions: It’s not about you. When reading these words, one cannot help but be reminded of the words of the 35th president, who had some difficulty with people getting past his religion, “Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what you can do for your country.”

Now, you might be wondering, rabbi, seriously, what does this have to do with marriage? That is actually simple too, and you can see it in how Alisa and Chris treat each other. The deepest core idea of marriage is that it is not about you; it is about your spouse. And if you follow that, like Alisa and Chris do, you really have it made.