Create an Open Household

On Saturday, January 20th, Nelson Head and I co-officiated Kim and Josh’s wedding ceremony at the Rosewood Mansion on Turtle Creek in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Josh’s description of how he met Kim is fairly conventional. I mean, stop me if you’ve heard this one before: “I met Kim at a pumpkin carving party taking place at a co-resident’s house, where she happened to be a judge in our margarita contest.” (Pause for laughter.) OK, maybe not so conventional, after all…

This encounter did show that Josh was a forgiving man, though: “While she didn’t rank my margarita as #1, I was able to look past her mistake, and the rest of the night had an immediate spark. By the end of the night, I couldn’t wait to see her again and meet Gracie after talking most of the evening about her.”

Lest you think Josh is exaggerating about any part of this, particularly his lingering margarita related feelings, Kim backs him up: “Our first encounter was at a Halloween pumpkin carving party where no one ended up actually carving pumpkins. There was, however, a margarita making contest and to this day, Josh is insulted that I didn’t pick his as the best.”

So, what is it that makes Kim and Josh’s relationship work? I believe if you analyze it, you will see that it is a mixture, the right mixture of similarities and differences. 

Similarities? First of all, they are both not just medical professionals. For them, in light of their life experiences, medicine is a calling, a vocation; one might say they are true healers. They both absolutely, positively love Gracie, originally Kim’s, now their dog. As Kim says, “If a guy can love a dog that much then I’m pretty sure he’s a good guy.” Of course, this applies to her too.

Differences? Kim says that he can do chemistry, while she can’t. More relevant to day to day life, she says, “Josh loves to cook and I hate to. I like to clean, and he doesn’t.” Now, if you know Josh, you know she speaks the truth. Josh says: “I found myself learning how to cook from my mother and taking on the role of preparing dinner each night, sometimes more elaborate of a meal than a 16-year-old should be preparing… Continuing to cook for my friends, whether at high school reunions when we are all back in Miami, hosting Thanksgiving dinner with my father as my sous chef, or during a casual evening, cooking has become a way to show my love to those I care deeply about. Kim is still waiting for Josh to learn how to make sushi, though.”

The area of their faiths is another in which their differences have brought them together. This ceremony and the past few holiday seasons are a testament to this. As Josh says, “During our first holiday season together, I decorated my first Christmas tree and Kim lit her first Chanukiah. Getting to share each other’s traditions and talk about how we wanted to celebrate in the future and with a family was exciting and comforting—creating an open household that encourages diversity and celebrating multiple traditions.”

Kim and Josh, that is exactly what we wish for you. May your similarities and your differences continue to enliven your relationship, and may your household truly be a place of openness and diversity.