Gratitude

On Thursday, 8/31, I officiated Leili and Ryon’s wedding ceremony at the Reflections Venue and Gardens in Plano, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests: 

One of the most important precepts in the Abrahamic religions is what we call in Hebrew, hakarat hatov. Now, this literally translates as recognition of good, but really means a sense of gratitude. 

This precept is so important that the Bible extends it even to inanimate objects. Moses, for instance, is told to send Aaron to strike the Nile to elicit a couple of the plagues rather than doing it himself because the Nile hid and saved him when he was a baby.

Truth be told, the American psyche militates against this idea. We are told that in our society, all evidence to the contrary, if you work hard and play by the rules, you will, in almost mathematical fashion, succeed. And if you buy that, I have a great bridge to sell you too… Leili and Ryon aren’t fooled by this, though. They recognize their good fortune.

In fairness, it is a little easier in their case not to take their coming together for granted. After all, what are the odds of a Trinidadian Grenadian Canadian soccer playing financier and an Iranian Mexican Texan, sometime, Californian social justice practitioner not only meeting each other, but finding so much in common and falling in love. 

It is this type of gratitude for what fate has wrought upon you that makes not just the exciting parts of life, oh, I don’t know, like going to Babe’s Chicken, but also the seemingly mundane parts of life richer and more meaningful. 

Indeed, Leili and Ryon explicitly emphasize that they not only enjoy the opportunity “to explore the world and have adventures with each other but they also love their evenings at home, cooking dinner together, watching movies and showing each other TikTok videos - life is exactly what they both want for themselves!”

And the recognition of your good fortune forms the best type of launching pad for the vital work that is marriage. As Leili and Ryon say, “What you see before you today is the result of three and a half years of two individuals committed to doing the work of creating the relationship they want for themselves. These three and a half years have provided them the opportunities to evolve into more healed versions of themselves. And they know that work never ends.”