Enantiomers

On Friday, August 19, 2022, I officiated Jackie and Jake’s wedding at the Ibagari Boutique Hotel on the island of Roatan in Honduras. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I’m somewhat hesitant to talk about the genesis of Jackie and Jake’s relationship. I mean, sure, a wedding is supposed to be romantic, but the language one should use at a wedding should not be too risqué. That said, this is the first meaningful thing Jackie said to Jake, so here goes. Brace yourselves. (Pause.) “HEY, YOU’RE IN MY CLASS!” Now, Jackie recounts this exclamation which happened in a bar, in lower case letters, but Jake spells it all out in upper case letters, so yes, their relationship began with a yell. 

Now, you might think that from there it was a straight line to where we are today. Jackie even continues, “That's how it all began.” However, in those words she is really performing a feint worthy of her favorite sport, futbol, because, her next words are, “We became friends that night,” and, “What emerged then was a beautiful friendship,” which is exactly what guys like to hear from interesting girls they meet.

You can hear that in Jake’s telling of the beginning of that friendship. This guy was a goner: “I knew from that first night that Jackie was someone special. I loved her energy; she was radiant. She was so outgoing and so much fun with a complete stranger at the time that she simply recognized from one of her classes. I quickly realized that this was a common theme, as I was unable to go anywhere on campus with Jackie without stopping multiple times for her to say hi to friends, in multiple languages, during the course of what normally would have been a ten-minute walk. I was also enormously impressed that someone so socially gifted could also be so brilliant. I had never met someone at all like her.” 

In all seriousness, though, starting off as good friends is actually at the root of the successful romantic partnership Jackie and Jake have built together. Jake says, “My wish to marry Jackie is rooted not only in what a special person she is, but also in the match that we make. Never had I felt such excitement and desire to spend time with someone, even in our friendship. We found that this sentiment translated naturally into our romantic relationship… We have enjoyed our common interests and passions, but perhaps more importantly appreciated and embraced our differences. 

Jackie recently found herself happily on top of a mountain in Southern California after hiking for hours in the rain, something she would have never previously dreamed of given her city-dwelling predilection. Likewise, Jackie and her family have fully immersed me in their Honduran culture, culminating in me trying… Curiles, a dish resembling mussels without the shell that are eaten fresh after being doused in lime juice… 

I have attended numerous church services with her and her family and was even married in their Basilica by a priest, something I would not have imagined previously. Similarly, Jackie has embraced my Jewish heritage by participating in celebration of Jewish holidays and even lighting the Hannukah candles in Honduras with her parents, a new experience for them and a special one for me. Jackie and I have expanded each other’s worlds immensely and I want nothing more than to continue to do so throughout the rest of our lives.”

It is just this type of difference that can allow for growth and evolution of one’s romantic relationship. As Jackie says, “We have learned to compromise and communicate better, and I know we both always have each other’s wellbeing and happiness in mind. Our relationship has evolved a lot… We have grown enough to recognize things that need more attention, things that should change, and things that we should continue to do in order to choose each other and our love every day.”

She adds, “I think back to the concept of enantiomers that we learned in organic chemistry, molecules that are non-superimposable mirror images of each other, like our hands. In a way they are opposite, but also incredibly similar. Two people from different countries, different religions, with different personalities, but at the same time that match together so well. We are not the same, yet our differences only add to our union. 

Throughout all of the ups and downs of the last few years, Jake is always the first person I want to talk to about everything with, whether I’m telling him about something that’s wrong or simply what I’m having for lunch. I am my happiest when we’re together, especially when he makes me laugh (which he does all the time). Regardless of what is going on around us, I know that he is my rock, my best friend, the left hand to my right hand.”