They Keep It Real

Saturday evening (7/24), I officiated Kayla and Stephen’s wedding ceremony at The Joule in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Like most couples today, Kayla and Stephen’s relationship began in the ether of the internet. Her first impression of him was mysterious yet fortunate: “I didn’t quite know what to make of him… He didn’t come on too strong, which is really what I needed at the time because I was really guarded.”

The moment they met might sound like it came out of a sitcom, “I obviously took the time to look nice for our date but when I went downstairs to meet him, he was standing there in a bright green Under Armor workout shirt. I immediately felt self-conscious that I was a lot more dressed up. He looked a little intimidated and said, ‘You look beautiful.’”

Here is the intriguing observation she made, though, that really hooked her during that first encounter, “Even though I was nervous and probably super awkward, talking to him was easy.” As their relationship progressed, she came to understand that this was part of a wider quality Stephen possesses.

“My favorite thing about him,” she says, “is he’s always smiling when he talks. He’s the best listener and I know all of his friends would agree. When we get into Ubers, I’m the one hoping the driver doesn’t try to talk to me, while he takes an immediate interest in their life, listens to them, and is giving them heartfelt advice by the end of the ride. I love that about him.”

All these quotes come from Kayla’s essay about her and Stephen. I have each person I marry write such an essay. Stephen’s is the first essay of about 1,000, which begins with a disclaimer, “Redacted after peer review.”

It is also the first essay with a term, I, the Jew, was not familiar with. Stephen who had high hopes for their first date discloses that “the date was fun. Towards the end, ‘her friend needed help’ and I got a Christian side hug, so I thought I'd never see her again.” Fortunately, this was one of the few times in documented history that the friend was not imaginary and did really need help, so here we are today.

Stephen shares an observation that I am sure will not be foreign to you if you know Kayla, “Undoubtedly Kayla has the most tenacity of anyone I've ever met. But with that tenacity comes someone who loves fiercely and will work towards overcoming any adversity…

What these two people share, each in their own way, is a quality we could all learn from to enhance our relationships, romantic and otherwise: They keep it real. Kayla says, “Stephen is super genuine, never puts on a façade, just is who he is.” And Stephen says, “Kayla is definitely someone who walks her own path in life, which I greatly respect.” We should all be so lucky.