Learn from One Another

Saturday evening, I officiated Andrea and Andy’s wedding ceremony at the Westin Stonebriar in Frisco, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

We are all creatures of our time. The very way Andy describes having met Andrea would be puzzling to someone living in this very place just 100 years ago: “Andrea and I met on a dating application shortly after I moved to Texas… On our first date at a Sushi restaurant, I could tell that she was special.” (“Application? Sushi?”)

Now picture the look on the face of the Frisco gentleman in 1921, hearing from Andrea what they or rather she did in their first two dates: “I wooed him with sake bombs…  I kicked his butt at the gym.” (“We gave women the vote last year, and it all went downhill from there, huh?!”) And yet, as Andy says, “Ever since… we were inseparable, learning from one another, working out together, and laughing with one another. (Granted, sometimes, it was at my own expense).”

Now, some old habits die hard. Even in 2021, many still think that it is extremely important to marry someone of as similar a background as possible. Andrea and Andy’s story would militate against accepting this old idea, at face value, too. Andrea says, “Being older, and after having both dated a lot, we both knew that we wanted a family and were ready to settle down. We started asking the tough questions right away to see if we were ultimately a match for one another. It was a complete shock, we were on the same page on all of the big issues (money, finance, family) and yet still valued each other’s different backgrounds.”

However, Andrea and Andy take this one step further. Andrea says: “Andy and I don’t just agree on those big issues. Andy brings out the calmer, more relaxed side of me. (I can be a lot to handle at times…) He makes me laugh, comforts me when I need it most, and always tries to do better every single day.”

So not only are their different backgrounds not a negative; they are a positive, because in Andy’s words, they have indeed focused on “learning from one another,” and helping with “each other’s personal growth.” This openness, nay desire, to learn from one another’s differences has helped them in his words, “stride together in one direction… overcoming any obstacles that life has thrown our way. We both know how to pick one another up when… needed and when to lean on the other person when we need to…” Sounds like a great prescription for a happy, interesting, and fruitful marriage to me.