Caring Nature

On Saturday, May 3, 2025, I officiated Alyssa and Steven’s wedding ceremony at the Westin Dallas Downtown in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Alyssa and Steven’s story goes back years to when they met at the University of Kansas. (Go Jayhawks!) In fact, they were really just good friends for a while before their relationship took a romantic turn.

There is, however, one more recent story, emblematic of their entire relationship that shows that this relationship is special and that they have it made. In fact, this story is reminiscent of a story told about Rabbi Aryeh Levin, nicknamed Hatzadik Hayerushalmi, the Righteous Man of Jerusalem. 

One day Rabbi Aryeh and his wife showed up at the doctor’s office, and the doctor asked what was wrong. The rabbi replied, and this works much better in Hebrew, “We feel pain in my wife’s leg.” Note the exact phrasing; not “My wife feels pain in her leg.” WE feel pain. Rabbi Aryeh’s love for his wife was so great that he felt pain when she felt pain.

No one should have been surprised to hear this from Rabbi Aryeh because this was his general approach to humanity, in general. He was a selfless and caring man. It was no wonder that his approach to his wife would be such.

Steven says of Alyssa that she fits that bill: “I don’t think there is anyone that is more selfless and caring than Alyssa. Even when it makes no sense to me, she will put anyone else first, always lending a hand or making sure other people are taken care of. This is such an important trait for a person to have, and she embodies it to a T.”

And Alyssa tells the story I teased earlier: “One night recently, I cut my finger on a knife pretty bad when I was doing the dishes. He jumped to action to help wrap it up and stop the bleeding. He dropped everything. That night laying in bed, he started crying after I told him how bad my finger hurts. When I asked why he was crying, he told me “Because he I hate not being able to make it better for you. I don’t want you in pain.”

Alyssa and Steven, thank you for this important lesson about true love. May your caring nature for each other and others continue to manifest itself throughout your marriage.

The Power of Serendipity

On Saturday, March 29, 2025, I officiated Taylor and Blake’s wedding ceremony at the Thompson Hotel in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Taylor and Blake’s relationship is emblematic of the power of serendipity, and the importance of seizing the opportunity that serendipity gives you.

Their meeting each other is like something out of a movie, and good one at that. Blake says: “Taylor and I met in Chicago about three years after we both moved to the city. It happened to be the first night I moved into my new apartment in West Loop. I wasn’t planning on going out that night after all day of moving, but my friends invited me to dinner and insisted I join. I decided I had earned a drink after the big move and should go out to celebrate. 

Little did I know, a few hours later I would be walking into a bar called Clover. As I walked in, I locked eyes with a beautiful brunette who was sitting with a few people at a table near the entrance. I walked up to her, and without hesitation, said ‘I like your energy.’ Mind you, this wasn’t some line I used routinely when I went out. I had actually never said it before. But knowing Taylor as I do now, I can see why my senses picked up on it. 

Luckily the line didn’t send her running for the door or cause her to tell me to get lost. The truth is, she replied back with a smile and said, ‘Meet me by the pool table.’ After getting a drink, I caught her eye as she was chatting with her friend, somewhat by the pool table. It was close enough that I decided to take her up on the offer. I walked over, introduced myself, and just like that, we were chatting away. The rest, as they say, is history.”

Taylor further underlines the serendipitous nature of their meeting. She says: “I wasn’t even supposed to be out that night, but a friend convinced me to grab a last-minute concert ticket. The bar—Clover—was our last stop of the evening. As I stood at the bar with my friends, a group of guys walked by, one of them being Blake. He looked right at me and said, ‘I like your energy.’ And for reasons I’ll never quite understand, I responded with, ‘Meet me by the pool table...’ 

Eventually, we did end up by the pool table, where Blake proceeded to annihilate me at the game. I was drawn to his confidence and enjoyed our playful banter, especially the part where I told him he really should’ve let me win. For the record, I’m still waiting for him to throw me a bone.”

Taylor picks up the story after that fateful night: “We didn’t have our first official date until two weeks later. He canceled the first one, claiming he was ‘sick,’ and naturally, I thought I’d been blown off. But nope—turns out he was actually sick, not just avoiding me. When we finally did get together, it was like a light switch flipped—we were off to the races and never looked back.”

Blake agrees and emphasizes that that initial connection has just strengthened: “We just had an instant connection that left me wanting more. And to this day, whether it's returning from a few hours golfing on the weekend or a weeklong work trip, when I get home and see her face, it brings me happiness. I feel at home with her, no matter where we are.”

The logical next step – marriage. As Taylor says, “I’m ready to marry Blake now because I feel confident in who I am and what I want out of life. I know without a doubt, Blake will be a great partner in life through the good and bad.”

And Blake agrees: “When I realized I was lucky enough to have found such a partner, it was really just a matter of time until I decided to make that permanent commitment. And so I’m excited and ready at this point in my life to take her hand and be able to call her my wife.”

Sacrificial Love

On Saturday, February 22, 2025, I officiated Crystal and Michael’s wedding ceremony at St. Stephen's Catholic Church in Midland, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Crystal and Michael stress threads common to both of their upbringings when they talk about their parents.

Michael says: “As a veteran of the Yom Kippur War, my father chose to raise his two sons in the US. My father was a hard worker and willing to make many sacrifices for his family. He received his dental license in Poland but drove a taxi when coming to the US to study for his licensing in the US. My father left an impression on me to work hard to achieve what you want even though it may not be the shortest path.”  

Crystal says: “My mom and dad worked really hard to provide for my brother and myself. They were so young and had many financial struggles. My dad became a licensed electrician to provide for his family and my mom worked as a bookkeeper at a bank… My parents always wanting better for my brother and me.”

This love that their parents showed towards them is what we would call sacrificial love, and this idea is common to both of their religious traditions. In Christianity this idea is quite obvious, and it is exemplified in Jesus’ sacrifice. In Judaism, we see an example of this in the mystical idea of tzimtzum, literally contraction or withdrawal, in which God whose presence is everywhere, contracts to make room for creation.

Sacrificial love is central to marriage. In marriage, two people, each with their own characteristics, their own strengths and weaknesses, come together to form a union grounded in love. However, in order to thrive, each must not only take sustenance from the marriage, but give of themselves, so the other might thrive, so that the new being that comes to life, their marriage, may succeed. 

Crystal and Michael, what we hope for you is that you continue to follow your parents’ lessons, and that you love for each other be emblematic of God’s love for you. In this, may you find true happiness.

Living Our Journey

On Saturday, November 30, 2024, I officiated Laura and Greg’s wedding ceremony at Shully's in Thiensville, Wisconsin. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Laura and Greg very much value this idea of lifelong learning. They see their journeys individually and with each other as journeys of learning. They try to live their lives in what one might call a teachable fashion, setting an example for their children. They see this moment, specifically, as a teachable moment. 

Greg recounts how it all started: “I met Laura (I call her Ella) in Clearwater Beach, Florida in March 2020. I was there on vacation with a college friend. Coincidentally and little did we know, we were staying at the same hotel as Ella. Ella and I met in the hotel gym at around noon on a weekday. Looking back, there is no question in my mind that Ella and I met due to divine intervention. There are dozens, if not hundreds, of factors, that I can list that would have prevented our meeting in the gym.”

Laura agrees and elaborates on the teachable aspect of this moment: “Greg offers me the safety and the sense of belonging together as if it was ‘beschert’ (meant to be). We share the same vision of a blended family and support each of our children in their endeavors. We both share a deep sense of familial connection and feel that marriage will offer our ‘kinder’ stability and balance. It shows them that marital commitment matters and that it is a key factor for their future...”

Greg talks about the nature of their relationship and what it does for each of them: “Ella and I have enjoyed a strong bond since we met that has blossomed into a special relationship. From the beginning, our relationship has been easy and organic. I made the decision to marry Ella after realizing that our partnership is stronger than the two of us individually. My life is better and has more meaning when Ella is part of it. I look forward to continuing my growth and fostering her growth within our partnership; that growth being the true act of love.”

Laura agrees and once again elaborates on the significance of this moment: “I firmly believe we humans are not meant to be islands. We need other humans to interact with and a partner to share our life with. In Greg, I found a partner who offers emotional support, a sense of belonging that makes every hardship in my life easier, and a great companion… We mutually complete each other. Our house watcher in Arizona refers to us Yin and Yang… 

We are all on this life train, living our journey. The truth is, we will all get off at different stations but until then, we need to be an example and build a legacy for generations to come… There is no such thing as a perfect life, but I do believe that there are perfect moments in time.”

Friendship and Unwavering Love

On Saturday, September 7, 2024, I officiated Alysa and Zach’s wedding ceremony at Second District Brew Farm in Milanville, Pennsylvania. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

None of us can really control how we meet our spouse, but if you end up doing it like Alyssa and Zach, consider yourself lucky.

Alyssa says: “Zach and I initially crossed paths as colleagues… Our interaction was minimal until an invitation to his department's team lunch prompted me to formally introduce myself. Despite Zach's reserved nature, I extended an invitation for drinks, recognizing his need for companionship in a new city. Our friendship blossomed as we explored Houston together, sharing our thoughts and experiences. I offered him guidance in navigating the dating scene, even as he contemplated his career trajectory and applied to business schools across the country.”

Zach pinpoints one significant aspect of their friendship: “She was so sweet and friendly but also someone who challenged how I saw the world.” That may be the most important thing a friend can do for another friend, but even more importantly romantic partners can do for each other. 

Alyssa continues: “Eventually, we both moved on from our company, with me securing a position in The Woodlands, Texas, and Zach finding employment in Stamford, Connecticut. Despite the physical distance, our bond remained strong, and occasional conversations kept us connected.” 

One thing led to another. Zach says: “Our hearts grew fonder for each other miles apart and eventually found ourselves dating each other in a long-distance relationship during COVID-19, something we both thought wouldn’t be possible when we were friends.”

What is the secret of their relationship today? Alyssa speaks for both of them when she says: “I found companionship and security in him… Zach is my best friend and my partner in crime. He regards me as someone whose ideas, feelings, and thoughts hold significance and validity. His kindness and patience are unwavering. With his sense of humor, warmth, and affection, he brings joy and comfort into my life. While he exudes self-assurance and competence, he remains humble and devoid of egotism. 

We share a deep connection on multiple levels. His playfulness and sweetness add a delightful dimension to our relationship. He is not just my best friend but also the greatest blessing in my life. His presence inspires me to continually strive to bring happiness to his life, and I am grateful every day that he chose me. Even in the face of adversity, I am confident that the foundation of our marriage—our friendship and unwavering love—will endure.”

Zach agrees: “Alyssa and I have been dating for several years and living together in Houston for almost two years. Our strong foundation as friends has transformed into a shared desire to be life partners. We’ve raised an amazing loving dog (Trevi) together and are looking to grow our small family and pass down our shared values to the next generation... I can’t imagine developing a family without Alyssa and I can’t wait to exchange our vows.”

Learning Process

On Saturday, June 8, 2024, I officiated Lauren and Hunter’s wedding ceremony at the Hall on Dragon in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I have been married for more than thirty years. I have found that marriage is a learning process. I continue to learn about things I am not supposed to do.  

The formal start of Lauren and Hunter’s relationship began with such a lesson for Hunter. Lauren says: “Hunter asked me to be his girlfriend… but unfortunately, he chose to ask this on my birthday. Of course, I excitedly said yes, however after four years of sharing my birthday with our anniversary, let’s just say I am VERY happy that we now have a new anniversary to celebrate.”

Single guys, listen up, and take note. Day before, day after, but not on her actual birthday. Stay safe out there, gentlemen.

Let’s back up to the beginning, though, and I hope there are no Alabamians here, because Lauren begins their story with this statement: “I was not in the mindset that my husband would be found in Tuscaloosa, Alabama.” Ouch. She adds, though, “Hunter would soon change that.” 

The theme of learning was central to the genesis of their relationship. So was the barter system. Hunter says: “I was starting my first teaching and coaching job in August, and she was taking a history class. The circumstances were perfect, because I didn’t have any money and she hated history. I traded homework for food, and we grew closer, as we spent more and more time together.”

Apparently, Napoleon knew only half of it. (He was a French emperor, Lauren.) Not only does an army march on its stomach, so do romantic relationships. 

Hunter invokes two specific themes that I love in explaining why Lauren is the right person for him: “I want to marry Lauren because she’s my best friend, the person I most look forward to being with every day and someone I feel safe with… When we first met, I was attracted to her not only because she was gorgeous, but because she was smart and funny as well. As our relationship has continued, I still find her attractive for all those things but also for her kindness and lovingness.” Safety, coupled with kindness and lovingness. That sounds simple yet profound.  What a great prescription for a successful marriage.

Lauren agrees, emphasizes that Hunter puts his money where his mouth is, and that that proves to her that this is the real deal: “There isn’t a day that goes by that I question whether Hunter is the right partner to spend the rest of my life with. He assures me of his love constantly not only through his words but also his actions. I desire to marry because I honestly feel that Hunter isn’t just someone I want to live with, he is someone I don’t want to live without… 

I understand that marriage can be, and will be, difficult at times, yet all I can say is that I’m ready. I’m ready to take that leap because I know I have Hunter holding my hand. I am ready to commit to choosing him every single day for the rest of my life, the way I know he will always choose me. I am ready to build a life together, and I am so excited for what the future has in store for us.”

Boldly Seek Out Life’s Adventures

On Sunday, May 26, 2024, I officiated Alexis and Rob’s wedding ceremony at the Dallas Arboretum (Jonsson Color Garden) in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I ask every person I marry to write an autobiographical essay, discussing their life and spiritual history, how they met, why they want to get married, and why now. Note, I do not ask for their honeymoon plans. Alexis, however, volunteered this: “In the ceremony, maybe we leave out the part about how my ideal honeymoon is a week-long guided hallucinogenic trip in Central America. Or not. Your call.”

Understandably, this surprised me. But the more I learn about Alexis and Rob, the more I appreciate and understand their mutual desire to explore the vastness of the world, take risks together in order to grow, and support one another along the way, and in their own way. In their ketubah, a Jewish written form of vows they signed before the ceremony, Alexis and Rob vow, “Together, we will boldly seek out life’s adventures and actively pursue the richness and fullness of a life well lived.” It is this sense of wanderlust and drive for an enriched life which brought them together over 10 years ago. 

Long before they met, Alexis and Rob each joined the Peace Corps, a government agency established by President John F. Kennedy, which sends volunteers abroad to promote peace through global service. Rob served two years in rural Morocco. Alexis, inspired to join the Peace Corps by her uncle, Jim Bass, who served in Peru in the early 1960s, served three years in Botswana.

Back stateside, subsequent to their terms of service, they each sought community with fellow Returned Peace Corps Volunteers (RPCVs), and each, in turn, joined the same RPCV group, Rob a few years prior to Alexis. In this group they sought camaraderie with like-minded individuals devoted to community service, and it was at one of the group’s gatherings that they met.

Since then, they have built a life together filled with adventures and challenges: national and international travels, backpacking through Yosemite, urban exploration, scuba diving anywhere they can, renovating a house (since 2018!), and building community here in Dallas. 

Rob throws himself into building and driving racecars, and funds this hobby with his motorsports photography company. Alexis volunteers heavily on committees in both Peace Corps and commercial real estate related nonprofit organizations. Truly, they have a hard time sitting still. Each encourages the other to take on new interests and strive to reach their fullest potential.

As with any relationship, not every day can be sunshine and sea turtles. After 10 years, Alexis and Rob joke that they have done more relationship work before marriage than many do years into their marriage – but this work has undoubtedly paid off. They have learned to listen and communicate, and now value their differences as much as their similarities. They believe, that, to again quote their ketubah, “By appreciating one another’s perspectives, we will gain a wider view of the world around us.”

Alexis and Rob, thank you for exemplifying this important idea in your lives. May others learn from you and follow in your path, and may you continue to carry your passion for understanding the beauty of the world, the gratitude for your community, and your fierce love for one another into your marriage. As you’ve worked hard to create a house together, may you now create a home, one set upon the foundation of marriage.

Pick One Another Up

On Saturday, October 14, 2023, I officiated Jamie and Colby’s wedding ceremony at the Nasher Sculpture Center in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests: 

The beginning of Jamie and Colby’s story is somewhat dramatic but straightforward. As Jamie says, writing in the third person, because of course she does: “Their love story begins like a scene from a movie. Red plastic cups strewn along the bar, the latest top 40s song playing in the background as string lights highlight the center of the basement, a beer pong table.” They proceeded to talk, play beer pong, and people watch. Colby asked for and got her number, and they lived happily ever after. 

No, that is not how it happened. As Jamie admits, “Colby asked if she would like to continue the tour and Jamie told him she should check on her roommate first. Turns out, her floormates were ready to head back to the dorm within a couple of minutes, meaning Jamie left Colby with no wave goodbye, no number, and no goodnight kiss.” Womp womp, as one might say.

A lesser man would have given up, but not Colby. In true Churchillian fashion he said to himself, “Never, never, never give up.” What followed was a detective story worthy of Arthur Conan Doyle. Interestingly enough, it is not Jamie, the professional storyteller that relates it; it is Colby who does.

“The next day, I logged onto Facebook… After some digging, I found her and sought to further a relationship by friending her. Unfortunately, her privacy settings were beefed up and didn’t allow me to do so… Fast-forward a few weeks later as Theta Chi’s first date night was approaching. With zero real prospects past or present to consider, I thought back to the girl I’d met the month before… How can I get in touch… Heading up to my room for the night, I heard a familiar voice from down the hall. A fellow Mah-Kee-Nac camper, who I recalled seeing talk to Jamie’s roommate on that August night, is hanging out with one of my pledge brothers. Wheels start to turn in my head… I… asked if he wouldn’t mind reaching out to his friend to ask if by some stroke of luck he happened to have Jamie’s roommate’s phone number. And if he somehow did, if he would be willing to ask her for Jamie’s number. My pledge brother happily obliged and set the chain of telephone in motion.” 

Jamie picks up the story and says, “It took Jamie a moment to realize Colby had to be the cute fraternity guy she met the first weekend at school. A quick Facebook search confirmed that yes, he was very cute, so Jamie told her to pass the number along… While she was slightly annoyed Colby misspelled her name (one of Jamie’s biggest pet-peeves) upon first reaching out, the moment she walked into Theta Chi the following weekend and he mixed her a cranberry vodka with lime, she knew the rest was history.”

Now, there is definitely an important lesson there regarding persistence, but I wanted to highlight another lesson Jamie and Colby teach us. Colby says: “My relationship with Jamie has taught me the power of partnership – this in a much deeper sense than what I’ve experienced for 6+ years negotiating, managing and evaluating sports marketing partnerships for work. As we have matured individually and together as a couple, I feel we have both begun to view our relationship from the lens of a partnership and being more than the emotional and physical connections that initially brought us together… To me, marriage and marrying Jamie is a commitment to a lifetime of partnership.” 

And Jamie says: “We’re both ready to spend our lives together. As hard as long distance was, we both used that time to focus on our careers and to grow individually. Now is the time for us to grow together. We make great roommates and puppy parents and are overall a good team, always finding a way to balance the other out, or pick one another up when they are down… We look forward to being married.”

Authenticity

In July, I officiated Kelly and Michael’s wedding ceremony at The Astorian in Houston, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests: 

Michael says that the genesis of his meeting Kelly was at his 32nd birthday party: “A friend of mine asked me a few questions about my love life and future goals… She asked me if I would be interested in meeting one of her friends… We ended up meeting a few weeks later at a gender reveal.” Michael adds, with an air of intrigue, “I almost didn’t go to the gender reveal, but my friend was persistent.” 

Of course, on Kelly’s side, there was no hesitancy about attending, because said friend, Jacque, had said the magic words that melt every woman’s heart when she described Michael: “Michael Samuels… loves Disney, cruises, and Disney cruises.” Though their interactions at the party were halting, numbers were exchanged, before Michael proceeded to his next party. (I have no idea if it was Disney-themed.) 

Kelly says that things proceeded quickly after that: “Three days later we went on our first date to Little Woodrow’s. We talked for hours. I remember thinking Michael was so cute and interesting. We extended our date by getting burgers across the street. The night ended with a first kiss and plans to see each other the following evening. We went out three nights in a row.” By that point, Michael says, he was completely enamored. 

Now, I always ask people why they want to get married and why now. Michael’s answer? “Because she told me.” That’s not the whole answer, but that does make it funnier. Seriously, though, for Michael, it’s simple: “I love Kelly, she makes me better, and I can’t imagine a life without her.”

The teacher, surprise, is slightly more verbose. Here is what Kelly says: “I am so excited to be married because I want a partner to enjoy my life with. I want someone that I can be my authentic self around and for my partner to be able to be his authentic self too. I desire someone that makes life more enjoyable and sees the world with rose-colored glasses. I want to enjoy the highs of life, feel supported during my lows, and support my partner whenever he is experiencing his lows. And Michael is that man!”

Kelly and Michael, I think there is one word there that really describes the ideal marriage: authentic. The thing is that that word, and I think everyone here will agree with me, also describes each of you, individually and as a couple. Thank you for showing us how it is done, and for making it look effortless. May you continue to be blessed with authenticity, from this day forward.

My Favorite Human

In June, Deacon Edward Rositas and I co-officiated Cristina and Zac’s wedding ceremony at Canyonwood Ridge in Dripping Springs, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests: 

I want to be respectful of the religious nature of this event, so I am somewhat hesitant to share the first message Cristina sent Zachary. This is real bodice ripper material. But since it was their first communication, here we go. Zac says, “My headline bio on Bumble said ‘Harsh critic of disorganized email inboxes and electronics cords,’ so it's no surprise that my now fiancé’s first message to me was, ‘Thankfully google organizes most of my emails for me. Have you enjoyed living in Austin?’"

Now, again, I am somewhat hesitant to share what they did when they met in person because most people don’t do this kind of thing on a first date. Again, my apologies for the risqué nature of my remarks. Cristina says, “I had not been to a lot of the must-see Austin sites, and he suggested a morning hike and brunch after. It was SO hot outside, and we were very sweaty and smelled horrible after and it makes me laugh reflecting back that we decided to go outside in August in Texas.”

Now, let’s get serious. Every now and then, I officiate a wedding for a couple that is fairly young and has had the good fortune to have not hit any speedbumps in life. I worry a little about that couple, because when you have not been tested, how do you know that you can pass the test? Because, if we are being honest, while marriage is one of the greatest things that can happen to you, like most great things it is not without its challenges. Marriage takes “stick-to-itveness”. Marriage, if you will, takes guts. 

I am not worried about Cristina and Zac, in this regard. Speaking of guts, gut health might not seem like the most romantic subject, but it becomes downright poetic in the story of this couple. 

“He took me to the emergency room and (eventually)… I was diagnosed with Celiac disease… I was freaking out because I had no idea how I was going to eat anything… What was Zac going to do… I didn’t know if… if Zac wanted to change the way he ate too. We… would need to replace a lot of our cooking items as they were contaminated with gluten. 

Zac… made the transition to eating gluten-free easy. He was 100% in on helping me be gluten-free and even decided to go 100% gluten-free in our apartment as that is the best way to keep me safe.”

Zac cites this experience as what cemented his decision to eventually arrive at this moment, and he talks about how this experience had positive knock-on effects on how they lived their lives: “I was ready to help her overcome this new test, and it was at that point I knew that truly loved Cristina and that I would eventually marry her… We began exercising more and eating healthier. We became better chefs going out for food less and less.”

Having been thus tested and thus improved through this test, I am confident that this couple will go the distance. And so when they state why this is their moment, you know this is the real deal. This is, again, downright poetic.

Cristina says, “I want to marry Zac so we can continue moving our relationship forward and build a family together… I want to marry Zac because he is my best friend, he cares deeply about us. And Zac says, “Cristina is my favorite human in the whole world. I want to spend the rest of my life with her, and there’s no one else that I would want to create a family with.”

A Team Working Together

Saturday evening, February 18, 2023, Dr. Holly Hull Miori and I co-officiated Breanna and Garrett’s wedding ceremony at the Hillside Estate in Cross Roads, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

The day I wrote these remarks, indeed, this entire ceremony seemed extra appropriate. It was both Christmas and the seventh day of Chanukah; talk about interfaith! One of the funniest things that Breanna told me about growing up has to do with Chanukah: “I have to say that my favorite part about Chanukah was Grandma Sheila’s potato latkes. I would eat and eat and eat until I could no longer fit into my pants.” I think we call identify.

Though Breanna and Garrett come from different backgrounds, the way their parents raised them regarding religion was remarkably similar. Garrett says, “[My parents] thought it would be best that I authentically find or involve myself in… religion on my own. If I had questions or needed guidance… they would for sure help, but they felt that it was not their place to force any sort of faith upon me… I really enjoyed those conversations with my parents and appreciated their respect for my own decisions.” 

And Breanna says, “My parents never pushed me into learning or going to Sunday school; they had always told me that if I was interested in learning, they would help me seek it out.” This was well evident in the meeting I had with Breanna’s dad before I even met Breanna and Garrett. He was very clear about the fact that it was his and Breanna’s mom’s preference that they have a rabbi involved in their wedding, but that, ultimately, it was the couple’s decision.

This is not as easy as it sounds. I meet far too many couples whose parents do not take this approach. I have sympathy for these folks. I think we all are that person at some point. It’s a lot easier to tell your kids what to do than to give them the tools to make decisions and allow them to choose to develop themselves into the human beings they wish to become. 

The ability to raise your kids the latter way demands an acute recognition of who you are and where you come from. (I found this to be literally true regarding Breanna’s folks, and I sense that it is the same with Garrett’s folks.) 

Gary and I played a “game” familiar to all Jews, “Jewish geography.” He told me their family was from Ukraine. I shared that my grandfather, the late and longest-serving rabbi of Congregation Tree of Life in Columbia, South Carolina, was also from Ukraine. He asked where, and when I named the town, he took out his phone and showed me on his Google Maps where it was and how far it was from where they were from.

However, the most important thing you need to raise your kids this way is to operate well as a team. This is something that both Breanna and Garrett realize, again, likely, because they had good examples at home. 

Garrett says, “When I think of marriage, I think of a team working together through love and sacrifice. When I see Breanna, I see my best friend and my teammate… I desire the feeling of mutual love and connection which I feel with Breanna.”

And Breanna says, “He is my best friend, teammate, and right-hand man… When I see Garrett, I see a lifetime partner, a loving father (in the future, haha), a friend, and a husband. I can’t wait to start a lifelong future with my best friend.”

Pretty Jewish

Saturday afternoon (2/4), I officiated Sharada and Eric’s wedding ceremony at the Andaz Beach House on the Peninsula Papagayo in Costa Rica. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

You must admit that much like this afternoon ceremony, Shar and Eric’s story is pretty Jewish. In their words they, “could be one of those couch couples from When Harry Met Sally.”  It happens entirely in New York. They meet in a bar in the East Village, they drift apart, and it is food that brings them back together. And – you can’t make this up – they have a dog named after an Eastern European Jewish pastry*. 

Of course, the American Jewish experience is more than the stuff of rom-com. It is defined by what Eric says about his Judaism, “I strongly identify as Jewish, and share the values that the religion and my parents instilled in me, the importance of family, tradition, education, kindness, empathy.” Guess what; that description, the importance of family, tradition, education, kindness, and empathy, fits Shar’s upbringing too.

Shar emphasizes that Eric’s description of his upbringing is not just words: “Eric is such a kind, empathetic person, who treated me so wonderfully, that my friends quickly named him ‘Prince Eric.’ I never fully understood where his sweet demeanor came from until I met his parents six months into dating. Howard and Judy were so warm and welcoming. I felt like I was already family. I always love seeing where people came from, and it was such a welcome surprise to know how wonderful his family was. Suddenly Eric Burnett made sense.”

No surprise: Eric fell in love with some of those same qualities in Sharada. He says, “Sharada is smart and hilarious, and tough, and kind. This clearly comes from the closeness she shares with her family. Her parents showed me nothing but warmth and kindness from day one, welcoming me into their home, calling me when I’m sick, and feeding me entirely too many dosas on every visit to California. Her cousins, who are so much more like siblings to her, have become brothers and sisters to me as well. I see characteristics of all of them in Sharada, and it is amazing.”

Family, tradition, education, kindness, and empathy. Not a bad prescription for a happy marriage.

*Their dog’s name is Babka.

God Rolled Out the Red Carpet

On Friday, November 18th, Minister Joseph Devlin and I co-officiated Janelle and Chris’ wedding ceremony at The Club at Garden Ridge in Garden Ridge, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Janelle’s first thoughts about Chris, before she actually met him are, um, interesting: “I initially thought I don’t know, this dude looks like a major hippie, but it says he’s a therapist so he must be a pretty good person. I guess I’ll give him a shot, haha.” Low bar, but OK!

Chris describes what she didn’t know at that point but would bring them together: “Janelle and I have both taken our knocks from life to this point. We can both attest to profound experiences of hurt and isolation and a disappointing experience of trying to find love and connection… I feel that God wrote a hell of a harrowing story for us both and that we were meant to find each other now when we did.” Wow, pretty deep major hippie!

I always ask couples to tell me about themselves as individuals and as a couple and to tell me about their spirituality. With Janelle and Chris, the subjects are intertwined. When I asked Janelle why she wanted to marry Chris and why now, she answered in spiritual terms:

“Chris is the sweetest, most caring, thoughtful, funny, smart goofball I’ve ever met. He is my twin soul and completes me in every way. He’s the Yin to my Yang. His philosophical approach to everything balances my hard science approach… He brought me back to God and made me believe again. Because only God could have created a soul so perfect for me and influenced the random sequence of events that allowed us to meet at the time, I was finally ready for him. It took 32 years and a lot of tears and tough times, but I would go through it all again to find Chris.”

Chris speaks in similar terms: “I feel it’s the right connection every time we laugh together or build a new goofy inside joke (our lives are already filled with these), or in moments where it feels like we’re really able to understand each other, or in moments where we’re able to be doing mundane stuff but feel enhanced by the mere presence of the other person.

We both feel like this marriage is an invitation to a bigger and better layer of life, where we have a renewed focus on giving and sharing love… It feels like God has rolled out the red carpet for both of us to be living the lives we’re meant for, and that that path for me is named Janelle.” 

Wow, I really can’t add to that.

Revealed In a Dream

On Sunday, November 13th, I officiated Rebekah and Kaya’s wedding ceremony at the Texas Renaissance Festival in Todd Mission, Texas. Every wedding I officiate is special. This one was rather unique. The bride and groom dressed as king and queen, most guests were in costume, and I was dressed as a wizard.

For the opening remarks, I shared these words:

Dearly beloved, we have gathered here today

To get through this thing called life

Electric word life it means forever and that's a mighty long time

But I'm here to tell you there's something else…

Now, at this point, you might be wondering a number of things, in no particular order: (a) Why did they circle each other before the wizard started talking? (b) Is it legal in Texas to have a wizard marry you? (c) Isn’t it illegal, outside of his native state of Minnesota, to begin a wedding ceremony with Prince lyrics?

Allow me to ignore b and c and explain a. As Oren, known by most as Kaya, and Rebekah, known by most as Rebekah, came forth, they followed an ancient Jewish tradition and circled each other seven times. This rather theatrical custom was originally designed to ward off evil spirits. Good thing, too, because some of you definitely scare me. It also symbolizes the mutual commitment of Rebekah and Kaya to make each one the center of the other’s world. Indeed, the scholars of Jewish mysticism write that this circling helps the lovers enter the many spheres of each other’s souls.

Friends, the bond and covenant of marriage is an ancient one. It is so old that often the relationship between God and Israel is analogized to the union of lovers. 

Now, this covenant is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly but reverently. That reverence is only enhanced by having your ceremony officiated by a powerful wizard.

Now, I hate interruptions once I really get wound up, so just to ensure there are no shenanigans if any of you can show just cause why they may not be lawfully married, speak now, or else forever hold your peace. (Pause)

Speaking of shenanigans, Rebekah and Kaya, I require and charge you both, if you know any reason why you may not be united in marriage lawfully, you do now confess it. (Pause)

OK, great, I didn’t travel all this way from Dallas in my wizard costume only to return empty-handed. Let’s keep going. Considering that I am not just a powerful wizard but a very wise rabbi, too, I should probably chant something in Hebrew before we move on.

Here are the personal remarks I shared with them and their guests. I modified my standard intro a little:

Friends, our shared traditions embrace lifelong learning and learning from everyone. Now, I know what you are wondering: Is there anything a powerful wizard like me does not already know? No, there isn’t. I’m not talking about me. I’m talking about you. You still have much to learn. So, whenever I officiate a wedding, I ask myself, this couple being unique individuals, what can normal mortals like you learn from them, so listen up. I don’t want to have to repeat myself.

Growing up in an academic household, I attended academic conferences and even read academic papers from a very young age, so I assumed that, naturally, everyone reads footnotes. I was well into my mid-forties when I discovered this was not the case. 

Now, there is little doubt as to the very best footnote ever written. No one comes close to Nicholas Berdyaev in his 1949 essay, The Divine and the Human. Often footnotes will include sources for the ideas the scholar is sharing with their readers. However, rather than citing a specific work, this footnote reads, and yes, it does sound better in the original German: “This was once revealed to me in a dream.” 

Now, you might be wondering why, standing here in a wizard costume, I chose to speak about the absolutely riveting subject of footnotes. It’s a fair question. And, no, the idea to do this was not revealed to me in a dream. It’s totally Rebekah’s fault.

Rebekah says, “I met Kaya in probably the most spiritual way possible. I had a dream about them. Yes, a dream. About two months before I moved to L.A., I had a dream about this bearded tattooed guy, and we instantly connected, and it gave me a lot of insight into where he was in life… 

Right after moving to L.A. I got this message from a circus company, asking if I would be interested in doing a performance… I agreed to meet with them, and I was expecting a girl or a couple, but then in walks the literal man of my dreams…” 

Kaya picks up the story from there, “I recall her face turning white. She seemed stunned. I assumed it [was] because I mentioned via texts jokingly that I was wearing a purple dress so she could [easily] spot me. We had not yet spoken by phone, and apparently, she assumed Kaya was a girl. My joke and her assumption together were a perfect setup for when a bearded and tattooed man introduced himself as Kaya.” Only later did Rebekah reveal to Kaya that he didn’t know the half of it. As you already know by now, like Nicholas Berdyaev, this was, in fact, revealed to her in a dream…

Kaya elaborates on even more magic and wonder that was involved in that first encounter: “One way in which… magic… has manifested in my life is the gift of having met my angel and queen, Rebekah… I [had] reached out to her asking if she would like to play the role of Cleopatra in an upcoming immersive theater project I was directing. What she didn’t reveal to me at the time was that she had an affinity for Cleopatra growing up, and her grandmother even handmade her a beautiful Cleopatra costume as a child…”

I believe that these phenomena are what we call foreshadowing. Here is another bit of foreshadowing for you. Close your eyes (yes, now) and think of what Cleopatra looked like. Now, Kaya simply pictured Rebekah, but you probably pictured Elizabeth Taylor. 

Here is a fascinating fact about the famous actress. She, like Rebekah, fell in love with Judaism. In fact, the classic 1964 movie was banned in Egypt because Gamel Abdel Nasser’s government was outraged that Cleopatra would be played by a Jew and a fierce advocate of Israel like Taylor, no less. 

The Ancient Rabbis believed that foreshadowing played a huge role in love and marriage. They also had a real knack for theatrics. The Talmud is constantly mentioning incidents in which, it claims, a heavenly voice makes a dramatic proclamation. And they maintained that forty days before the conception of every fetus, a heavenly voice proclaims who that individual will eventually marry. 

(As an aside, this is somewhat surprising because contrary to the view held by some that a fetus should be considered viable from the moment of conception, we, Jews, believe that a fetus becomes viable only after it graduates from medical school.)

Seriously, though, at the same time that we value foreshadowing, we are not naïve. We recognize the truth of these words written by a great playwright, in his native German, "Wenn ihr wollt, ist es kein Märchen" which we usually translate, “If you will it, it is no dream.” 

These words, written by one Theodor Herzl, who we refer to as the Seer of the State of Israel, convey a great truth not only about the life of nations but about the life of individuals in love. It is vital but not sufficient to have a dream. You must will it into existence, in word and deed, and never stop willing it. Just like Rebekah and Kaya.    

Finally, I altered my pronouncement a little for this wedding:

Rebekah and Kaya, all of us here rejoice in your happiness, and we pray that this marks only one of many more blessings you will share in the days and years ahead. Now that you have spoken the words and performed the rites that unite your lives, I do hereby, with all my wizardly powers granted to me by the Great State of Texas, declare you husband and wife. Kaya, you may kiss your queen!

Take Your Relationships Seriously, But Don’t Take Yourself Too Seriously

Friday evening, October 28th, I officiated Jamie and Zach’s wedding at Chandler's Garden, in Celina, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

When I was thinking about these remarks, I remembered a brilliant story about two historical giants, Golda Meir and Moshe Dayan. Both of these figures were central to the story of the modern State of Israel, both were members of the same labor movement, both were brash and swashbuckling revolutionaries, one ending up as prime minister, one as army chief of staff, defense minister, and foreign minister.

The thing is that though Dayan had been a war hero from World War I onwards, Golda seems to have always had his number. In the early days of the Yom Kippur War, Dayan famously lost his nerve, predicting that Israel would not survive the conflict, while Golda, amidst arming planes with nuclear weapons and readying them for attack, remained as calm and collected as ever.

At one point during their work together, Golda, who had an acid tongue, was exasperated with Dayan’s never-ending antics. She took a drag on her cigarette, turned to him, and in her heavily American accented Hebrew wryly remarked, “Don’t act so humble, you’re not that great.”

Golda, who likely had one true love and belonged to one political party her whole life, was trying to teach Dayan, the famously philandering thrice divorced cad, whose political allegiances changed with the proverbial wind, a lesson he would never learn, but one that we should heed, in all areas of life, but most importantly in love and marriage: Take your relationships seriously, but don’t take yourself too seriously. 

This is a quality that I see in both Jamie and Zach. They get this, which bodes well for their marriage. You see this in how Zach answers the double question I ask every person I marry, why do you want to get married and why now? 

“We have been dating for 5+ years, have lived together for multiple years, and now own a house together. We have seen each other in many positive and negative lights, from taking cross country road trips together, driving up tall mountains, learning to live with each other’s habits around the house, and taking care a dog together. We, basically, see ourselves as already married, and see the ceremony as basically a formality. As far as why now, the time just seems right.”

You see this in how Jamie answers and elaborates upon another question I ask every person I marry, how did you meet? “I was slower to warm up and a little more shy. The first time we met in person was at The Gingerman which is a local bar, and I had a LOT of questions for Zach when we first met in person. Zach answered every question correctly and cared a lot about how I feel and my perspectives. Zach and I have been together for 5 years and I love the life we have created. We also have a fur-child named Toby and I have loved seeing the love Zach has for Toby and the way he takes care of him. Toby usually sleeps in his own bed, but when I am out of town Toby sleeps in the bed!! Zach is also adamant that Toby should have 3 meals a day instead of 2 because he lives for food.”

More importantly, you see this not only in their words but in their actions, indeed in how Jamie and Zach are celebrating this very wedding, under a tree in Celina, Texas, with the smell of pizza wafting through the air. They will never forget today, but they know what really counts, all the days after today, their marriage, their love story, their relationship.

Why Not Now?

Saturday evening, I officiated Emily and Nick’s wedding ceremony at the Dallas Museum of Art, in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Now, one of the primary tools I use to arrive at these remarks is the autobiographical essay I ask each person I marry to write. Sometimes lessons for life appear as nuggets in these essays; other times there is an underlying theme to be uncovered. In the case of Emily and Nick, the themes did not need to be uncovered; they were presented up front, and they each went deep.

Interestingly, the thematic underpinnings for Emily and Nick’s essays could hardly be more different in their sources. Nick is somewhat conventional, and I do not mean that as a value judgement. His theme comes from his high school, St. Sebastian, which also reflects his upbringing by his grandmother, Mary: “Love God, Work Hard, and Take Good Care of One Another”. Nick says, “These words stick out to me, because they are much of what Mary had taught me over the years, for they embody what she stood for, exemplified by her watching mass daily and saying the rosary, working hard every day… until she was 83 years young, and taking care of her girls, Denny [Nick’s grandfather], and every guest… I had known all along that this way of life was not revolutionary, but foundational…”

Emily’s theme comes from an educational source, like Nick’s, but a slightly less conventional one. Again, no judgement. Well, maybe a little bit. (Not really.) Emily says, “My favorite Peloton instructor (incidentally, I did not know that people had favorite Peloton instructors), Kendall Toole (probably a good Irish Catholic girl), always says, ‘Life is like an EDM [Electronic Dance Music] song: You feel the music build… then you must prepare and when the drop comes you fall into the fight.’ Just like in life, with every build you must learn to handle the load and adapt to the highs and lows. Some EDM songs are more intense, others continuously build, and some remain mellow. My spiritual journey is, oddly enough, no different.”

Though their themes’ sources are slightly (OK, more than slightly) different, I find this idea of a theme that guides you, a philosophy of life, if you will, not only refreshing, but vital. As William B. Irvine says, “Without one, there is a danger that you will mislive… a danger that you will look back and realize that you wasted your one chance at living.” 

Now, when you have such a philosophy of life, it is much easier to answer the two questions I ask every couple to address, why marry and why now? Emily says, “To bring this metaphor home, just like an EDM song, you never know when the big drops are going to come, and in life we don’t either… During COVID I realized that even on the world’s worst day and in what seemed like the darkest of times, I felt this ever-present sense of warmth around me the entire time. Nick is simply the light and love of my life, and I know he always will be. Despite everything going on in the world I want him to be beside me for every high and every low… Just like our ketubah [Jewish marriage contract] says, our two hearts really do beat as one.”

Nick, ironically, adopts a Jewish practice in addressing this, answering a question with a question (really a number of questions): “With marriage as our bond, driving a thoughtful deepening of our commitment to one another, the real question I’ve asked myself is ‘Why Not Now?’ rather than ‘Why Now?’. I’ve known since shortly after our first dinner… that I loved Emily; that’s never been in question. If the next step in building our lives together, and eventually a family, is marriage, then why wait to reaffirm the happiest decision of my life to date? I can’t think of anything I’d rather do more than marry Emily and start the ‘rest of our lives’ together, and no one who has ever known me has ever described me as patient, except for Emily, so why practice patience now?”

Abide

Sunday morning, I officiated Hayley and Stuart’s wedding ceremony at The Springs, in Aubrey (at the Ranch). Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I ask each person I marry to write about themselves, and in Stuart’s writing something jumped out at me, immediately, when one specific word repeated itself: Dude. For instance, when he describes his friends, he says that “they are all awesome dudes.”

Stuart is a very laid-back guy. In explaining why he wants to marry Hayley, you can feel that sense of laid back calm, “I want to marry Hayley because we have been together for 4 years and I love her. She is fun to be around and she makes me laugh and I know what kind of person she is deep down. We have been through a lot together. Nothing crazy but definitely a lot over the years.”

Stuart has had an extremely calming effect on Hayley. To wit, she says, “Stuart is truly my very best friend… He always makes me laugh, even when I’m frustrated with him. He has helped me grow emotionally... He is my rock… I feel safe with him, and I know that no matter what life throws at us, we will be able to get through it together. Stuart just brings so much joy to my life, and I wouldn’t be who I am today without him.”

If you still haven’t figured out where I am going with this, yes, I am invoking the extremely Jewish movie, by the Coen Brothers, The Big Lebowski. If you have not seen the movie, whose main character is played by Jeff Bridges, it is subject to many different interpretations, but central to them is a stoic like calmness, embodied in the main character’s motto, “The Dude abides.”

Now, this is a wedding, not a film class, but the movie has very deep lessons for life, and if you look at it closely, its lessons for marriage are lurking right beneath the surface. Incidentally, Jeff Bridges, himself, who as the years have gone by has blurred the lines between actor and character when it comes to this movie, has been married for 45 years.

Let me mention just three lessons very relevant to marriage, that will make sense even if you are unfamiliar with the movie. These are taken from the excellent essay, 10 Most Important Life Lessons from The Big Lebowski:

“Life is unpredictable. You can't predict what will happen. Sometimes you win, sometimes you lose. You can't have everything. Just deal with it. Don't let it get you down, just accept it as a potentiality every day and live life with the knowledge that not everything can always go your way.

Stress is pointless, and leads to nothing positive, if it can’t be controlled and properly channeled. If you can’t control the situation… Just accept it. Abide…

If life brings you lemons, learn to make lemonade from it. Life is life. Difficult situations, sad moments and unpleasant experiences will come up. Just learn to go with it and don't let it get you down. You can't control everything in life… Move on and enjoy life.”

Thank you, Hayley and Stuart, for reminding us of these important lessons for life and love. May your marriage overflow with happiness and may you both abide.

Follow Micah

Wednesday night (4/27), I officiated Robin and Michael’s wedding ceremony at a friend’s home in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Robin and Michael’s description of each other’s essence is very similar, which I find fascinating. Robin says that Michael is, “a righteous dude with an elevated consciousness and a high vibration.” Oh, sorry, wrong Jew, that’s her description of Jesus… You gotta admit, though, hard to argue with and accurate.

OK, where was I? Ah, yes, their description of each other’s essence. Robin says, “Michael has good energy and a chill vibe. He’s calm and level-headed… He is just such a good person to be around and everyone who knows him says it.”

And Michael says, “Robin has very positive energy and has a smile that will make you just want to smile as well… she is just a great person and has a personality that can light up a room.”

This raises the question: what does it take to be a good person? Many people, especially in Texas, have really definitive answers to that question. You just have to believe exactly what they believe and do exactly what they do.

You might think that such immature approaches would be confined to kindergarten. In fact, one of the most prominent preachers in Dallas, recently gave a sermon from his gaudy $142 million downtown church, titled “Why God Sends Good People to Hell.”

It’s strange really, because the Bible, that same book that all these people claim to believe in, has the answer. I’m not just talking about the general vibe, to use Robin’s word, of the prophets in the Hebrew Scriptures, who seem way more interested in social justice and way less interested in religiosity. 

I’m talking about their explicit words. Micah, who lived in the 8th century B.C.E. in the Northern Kingdom of Israel, is really quite straightforward. He asks, “With what shall I approach the Lord, do homage to God on high?” He goes on to ask, do I need to offer animal sacrifices, do I need to offer maybe even human sacrifices? Remember, those were not unheard of in the ancient world.

His answer is simple. It almost seems like he is somewhat exasperated with having to repeat himself: “He has told you, O man, what is good, and what the Lord requires of you: Only to do justice, and to love goodness, and to walk modestly with your God.” Basically, like every good Jew, he answers a question with a question: Just be a good person; seriously, is that too much to ask?

Beyond the lesson for life, in general, there is a great lesson here for marriage. Would you like yours to be successful? The answer seems almost too simple. Chill out; follow the approach of Micah, follow the approach of Robin and Michael.

He Restoreth My Soul

Saturday evening, I officiated Sarah and Mark’s wedding ceremony at the Adolphus Hotel, in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I have every person I marry write about themselves and this writing not only enables me to get to know them better but informs these very remarks. Sometimes what a couple writes is so deep, that these remarks almost write themselves. This is one of those cases.

Now, they start off seemingly contradicting each other. Mark says, “In all honesty, I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to marry again.” Sarah says, “I knew I always wanted to be married again.” LOL, one might exclaim.

However, I really think this is more of a Mars and Venus semantic kind of thing than a true contradiction, because when I was reading their essays and when I was talking to them about their story, a verse most of us are familiar with, whether Jewish or Christian or even neither, kept coming to mind, or rather a snippet of a verse. This verse is part of a Psalm that is often included in liturgy, and this snippet includes one of the words that shows up only once in the entire Hebrew Bible.

This snippet in Hebrew is “Nahfshee yishoveiv,” or as you may know it, “He restoreth my soul.” Because though on their surface Sarah and Mark seem to contradict each other, when we delve a little deeper into the rest of what they say, they say the same thing. What they did for each other was restore in each other the very idea of the institution of marriage and through that their souls.

Just listen to Mark’s comment in its full context: “In all honesty, I wasn’t sure I ever wanted to marry again. Then I met Sarah, and it’s important that she becomes my wife, because she is more to me than just my beautiful, sweet girl. She’s become my life, and I don’t want to imagine my life without her. I need her to be by my side for the rest of my life.  For the first time in any relationship I’ve ever been in, nothing I do with or for Sarah is an obligation or responsibility of being a boyfriend/husband. Rather, I want to make her happy. Her smile makes me feel fulfilled. I want that forever.”

And listen to Sarah’s comment in its full context: “Very shortly after meeting Mark I knew we had something special. He is the perfect balance to my sometimes uptight or stressed personality. His level headedness calms me… He helps bring me out of my shell. I knew I always wanted to be married again.  I always wanted to share my life with someone and have a companion that I feel safe and loved by and vice versa. Mark is that person for me. I love him more deeply then I knew possible… I look forward to our days together.” 

Sarah and Mark, what we wish for you is that you continue to experience together happiness that is emblematic of another word in that Psalm that shows up only once in the Hebrew Bible, “rivaya,” or as you may know it, “runneth over.”

Seal This Bond of Love

Sunday evening, I officiated Madison and Garrett’s wedding ceremony at the Stonebriar Country Club, in Frisco, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Madison and Garrett’s story begins with something I hesitate to share with you. The first activity they engaged in was so passionate, so fiery, so intense for a first date, that it seems more appropriate for a bodice ripper than a religious ceremony. Their mutual attraction was so strong that according to Garrett this activity happened within fifteen minutes of meeting each other. 

I want to make sure I don’t get it wrong, so sensitive this topic is, that I will just quote Garrett: “Within fifteen minutes of meeting her, she showed me (pause for effect) a fantasy football player ranking that she had made in her journal from scratch and asked me what I thought about it.” 

Garrett continues, “This amazed me as this was something that I had never seen another girl be interested in. This mutual interest in fantasy football allowed us to have an initial spark that bonded us faster than I had ever had before with another person.” True to form, by the way, when I asked Madison why she wants to marry Garrett, she said, and I quote, “I want to marry Garrett because there is no doubt to me that we are end game.”

Now, to get a little more serious. (Not that fantasy football isn’t serious. Please don’t hurt me.)  Madison and Garret’s story is actually a testament to the fact that though none of us wishes for hardship, it is hardship or more accurately our response to hardship that makes us who we are, not only as individuals, but as couples. Check this out.

Madison, a great believer in fate, says something that might sound counterintuitive, “I truly do not think we would have been ready to get married until we did long distance. Long distance was the best and worst part of our relationship. It taught us how to be independent from each other but also how to MISS each other. It showed me gratitude for Garrett and patience which I struggle with. It 100% made our relationship stronger and made me more confident. Being away from Garrett made me crave being near him. I am grateful for the obstacle because it reaffirmed for me that I wanted to be with Garrett forever and how much I loved him.”

Garrett agrees, “Marrying her is in fact one of the easiest and effortless decisions I can make because of how much I love her. I truly know at this point there is no one else I want to spend my life with. I know after conquering two years of long-distance that we are now ready to get married, as this was the ultimate test to decide if our relationship is meant to last. I know that if we can make it through something as difficult as that, that we can conquer any goals we desire together.” 

Garret ends with words I can’t beat, “Marriage will seal this bond of love we share permanently and allow us to take the next steps in our growth as lifelong partners.”