And Here They Stand

On Saturday, May 10, 2025, I officiated Alyse and Aaron’s wedding ceremony at the Dallas Arboretum (Jonsson Family Color Garden) in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Aaron uses very interesting language when he describes what happened when they got together: “I felt at ease with her almost immediately...” Hearing this, I couldn’t help but think of the words of Sarah McLachlan, “Loving you is easy, loving you is wondrous and pure.” If you know Alyse and Aaron, you know this speaks to their mutual love. 

Alyse, in words that Aaron could have written too, describes what this relationship has done for both of them: “I didn’t realize how much better everything would be when I got to do it with Aaron. I am so grateful we met as soon as we did, because now no amount of time feels like it could ever be enough.” Again, Sarah McLachlan’s words speak to this: “Oh the fury of desire, you burn so bright, electrify, you light me up, you take me higher.”

One of the best aspects of Alyse and Aaron’s relationship is their differences and how they have dealt with their differences. Not only do these differences between them not hurt their relationship. They enhance it. 

Aaron says: “We make each other better people. We have different skill sets, but we complement each other… Being with Alyse gives me a drive and sense of purpose that was missing.” This might be the most important thing we can do for each other. After all, as the Stoics remind us, though we mostly concern ourselves with health, wealth, and reputation, the only thing we really have control over is our virtue and the sense of purpose that our virtue can impart on us. 

Alyse sums it up: “I always said I would only marry someone if they were TRULY perfect for me…”

And here they stand.

That Deep Love

On Sunday, May 4, 2025, I officiated Kat and Billy’s wedding ceremony at Silo & Oak in Temple, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Kat says, “Billy and I met on May 5, 2023, after many close calls,” which sounds vaguely ominous, but I don’t think she meant it that way. 

Kat continues: “He was friends with my brother since 2018, and I would always hear the name ‘Lux’. Billy had… visited my parents’ house a few times… when I wasn’t around… I was looking forward to finally meeting Lux just to put a face to his name… Billy walked in, and his presence instantly attracted me. He engaged in a conversation with my dad… As he was about to leave, he asked me about the Cuban coffee I was preparing for myself and that became a two-hour conversation. I didn’t think much of it as I didn’t know his relationship status and he was stationed in Texas.”

Billy picks up the story from there: “In 2023, I took leave from flight school and went back to Miami for a graduation. While there I bought a truck and asked a friend to leave it at my house. That single event changed the course of my life. That night I met his sister and after hours of conversation, we both knew something was there.”

Billy continues: “Kat came to explore Austin and met me as her guide. I was showing her the Tanakh, the Hebrew Scriptures… I opened a random page as we discussed it and saw this verse: 

בִּטְח֘וּ־ב֤וֹ בְכׇל־עֵ֨ת ׀ עָ֗ם שִׁפְכֽוּ־לְפָנָ֥יו לְבַבְכֶ֑ם אֱלֹהִ֖ים מַחֲסֶה־לָּ֣נוּ סֶֽלָה׃”

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts before Him; God is our refuge.” 

I viewed it as a sign from above and took a leap of faith. Ever since that leap, we have both had a stronger connection than we could ever imagine.” Kat confirms: “I arrived to Texas as a single woman and left Texas in a relationship.”

Kat and Billy’s ethical spiritual beliefs are complementary. Billy says, “I try to live my life by my simple summation of the 10 commandments of ‘Don’t be an a**hole’. Everything I do, I try to do with consideration to not negatively impact anyone around me.” 

This is, in fact, the way the Ancient Rabbis discuss the Golden Rule. While Jesus uses the positive, do unto others as you would like done unto you, the Rabbis say, what you do not like done to you, do not do to others.

There is an important prerequisite to this, though. What if you don’t really like yourself? You might not care what people do to you, and thus your behavior towards others might suffer. This idea has been central to Kat’s thinking. She says, short and sweet: “Before I dedicated myself to any religion, I made sure I had a good relationship with myself.”

Kat and Billy, may you both continue to love yourselves love each other, and love others. May your conduct, in good times and in bad, emanate from that deep love.

Caring Nature

On Saturday, May 3, 2025, I officiated Alyssa and Steven’s wedding ceremony at the Westin Dallas Downtown in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Alyssa and Steven’s story goes back years to when they met at the University of Kansas. (Go Jayhawks!) In fact, they were really just good friends for a while before their relationship took a romantic turn.

There is, however, one more recent story, emblematic of their entire relationship that shows that this relationship is special and that they have it made. In fact, this story is reminiscent of a story told about Rabbi Aryeh Levin, nicknamed Hatzadik Hayerushalmi, the Righteous Man of Jerusalem. 

One day Rabbi Aryeh and his wife showed up at the doctor’s office, and the doctor asked what was wrong. The rabbi replied, and this works much better in Hebrew, “We feel pain in my wife’s leg.” Note the exact phrasing; not “My wife feels pain in her leg.” WE feel pain. Rabbi Aryeh’s love for his wife was so great that he felt pain when she felt pain.

No one should have been surprised to hear this from Rabbi Aryeh because this was his general approach to humanity, in general. He was a selfless and caring man. It was no wonder that his approach to his wife would be such.

Steven says of Alyssa that she fits that bill: “I don’t think there is anyone that is more selfless and caring than Alyssa. Even when it makes no sense to me, she will put anyone else first, always lending a hand or making sure other people are taken care of. This is such an important trait for a person to have, and she embodies it to a T.”

And Alyssa tells the story I teased earlier: “One night recently, I cut my finger on a knife pretty bad when I was doing the dishes. He jumped to action to help wrap it up and stop the bleeding. He dropped everything. That night laying in bed, he started crying after I told him how bad my finger hurts. When I asked why he was crying, he told me “Because he I hate not being able to make it better for you. I don’t want you in pain.”

Alyssa and Steven, thank you for this important lesson about true love. May your caring nature for each other and others continue to manifest itself throughout your marriage.

Journey to Bashert

On Friday, May 2, 2025, I officiated Cara and Ross’s wedding ceremony at Firefly Gardens in Midlothian, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I ask every person I marry to write an autobiographical essay. Very few of these are given a title. Ross’s essay is one of those few, and he uses a Yiddish word in it no less, “My Journey to Bashert.”  File that away for now. We will get back to it.

Cara zeroes in on a common problem today in America: “My sister and I moved to Dallas during Covid, and two weeks in I thought I’d made a huge mistake. We decided to get a puppy, which helped, but making friends as an adult proved to be harder than I’d thought. A friend of mine suggested downloading a dating app as a way to meet people.” 

Here is where it takes an unexpected turn: “Being a girl who listens to a lot of true crime, I wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of meeting a stranger from the internet. I was however, convinced, and the first date I agreed to (after quite a bit of online research, of course) was with Ross.”

Ross speaks to the nature of that first dates: “My life took a transformative turn the day I met Cara. I vividly remember seeing her for the first time as I waited outside of the Katy Trail Icehouse entrance to greet her on our first date. She was walking across the street in the wrong direction, clearly lost and confused (being new to the area), with a cute bubbly cadence and looked absolutely stunning. 

I called her to help navigate to the restaurant, where we met with a hug and laughed about the unconventional route she took to get there. I felt immediately drawn to her warmth, energy and sense of humor.”

Ross notes the special nature of that date: “Our first date was unlike any other… We were instantaneously comfortable with each other, and sat outside in the Texas summer heat for over 4 hours enthralled in deep conversation. It was inherently clear that I met someone special and I could not wait to see her again the moment we said goodbye.”

Cara says, “I called my friend immediately after, and she called it before anyone: I was going to marry this man. Now, I can’t believe there was ever a time I didn’t have Ross in my life. Though it’s just been three and a half years, I feel like in that time so much has changed, and I really love the people we are today.” 

Ross agrees. He says, “The decision to propose to Cara was driven by my inability to imagine life without her. She is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and my last thought before I fall asleep with hopes she will be in my dreams.”  

Back to what we started with. Ross says, “When I told Cara’s Grandpa Bobby that I was going to propose, he was filled with joy and taught me the Yiddish term ‘bashert’.” Indeed, bashert is usually interpreted as meant to be, in general, or more specifically when referring to our romantic relationships, as soulmate. I love this interpretation, but it misses one thing, and that is our action and our free will. 

I believe a more nuanced view is necessary. Fate or luck or the universe may bring us to certain crossroads in our lives, but if we just leave it there, we won’t get far. What we need to do, in many things great or small, is to take that fate and through our actions forge it into destiny.

This is what Cara and Ross have done. As Ross says, “Our partnership has deepened immensely over time through meaningful experiences and overcoming obstacles, which have both taught us how to love each other to the fullest extent. While the ups and downs are both better with Cara, the “normal” days are just as meaningful to me.” 

Cara agrees, and she says: “I really love the people we are today. We’ve weathered a few hiccups, celebrated so many accomplishments, and worked really hard to build each other up as we’re creating a really beautiful life… I cannot wait to make the commitment of my lifetime to the love of my life in front of all of our closest friends and family, to step into the next chapter of life and getting to love Ross for the rest of my life.”

The Power of Serendipity

On Saturday, March 29, 2025, I officiated Taylor and Blake’s wedding ceremony at the Thompson Hotel in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Taylor and Blake’s relationship is emblematic of the power of serendipity, and the importance of seizing the opportunity that serendipity gives you.

Their meeting each other is like something out of a movie, and good one at that. Blake says: “Taylor and I met in Chicago about three years after we both moved to the city. It happened to be the first night I moved into my new apartment in West Loop. I wasn’t planning on going out that night after all day of moving, but my friends invited me to dinner and insisted I join. I decided I had earned a drink after the big move and should go out to celebrate. 

Little did I know, a few hours later I would be walking into a bar called Clover. As I walked in, I locked eyes with a beautiful brunette who was sitting with a few people at a table near the entrance. I walked up to her, and without hesitation, said ‘I like your energy.’ Mind you, this wasn’t some line I used routinely when I went out. I had actually never said it before. But knowing Taylor as I do now, I can see why my senses picked up on it. 

Luckily the line didn’t send her running for the door or cause her to tell me to get lost. The truth is, she replied back with a smile and said, ‘Meet me by the pool table.’ After getting a drink, I caught her eye as she was chatting with her friend, somewhat by the pool table. It was close enough that I decided to take her up on the offer. I walked over, introduced myself, and just like that, we were chatting away. The rest, as they say, is history.”

Taylor further underlines the serendipitous nature of their meeting. She says: “I wasn’t even supposed to be out that night, but a friend convinced me to grab a last-minute concert ticket. The bar—Clover—was our last stop of the evening. As I stood at the bar with my friends, a group of guys walked by, one of them being Blake. He looked right at me and said, ‘I like your energy.’ And for reasons I’ll never quite understand, I responded with, ‘Meet me by the pool table...’ 

Eventually, we did end up by the pool table, where Blake proceeded to annihilate me at the game. I was drawn to his confidence and enjoyed our playful banter, especially the part where I told him he really should’ve let me win. For the record, I’m still waiting for him to throw me a bone.”

Taylor picks up the story after that fateful night: “We didn’t have our first official date until two weeks later. He canceled the first one, claiming he was ‘sick,’ and naturally, I thought I’d been blown off. But nope—turns out he was actually sick, not just avoiding me. When we finally did get together, it was like a light switch flipped—we were off to the races and never looked back.”

Blake agrees and emphasizes that that initial connection has just strengthened: “We just had an instant connection that left me wanting more. And to this day, whether it's returning from a few hours golfing on the weekend or a weeklong work trip, when I get home and see her face, it brings me happiness. I feel at home with her, no matter where we are.”

The logical next step – marriage. As Taylor says, “I’m ready to marry Blake now because I feel confident in who I am and what I want out of life. I know without a doubt, Blake will be a great partner in life through the good and bad.”

And Blake agrees: “When I realized I was lucky enough to have found such a partner, it was really just a matter of time until I decided to make that permanent commitment. And so I’m excited and ready at this point in my life to take her hand and be able to call her my wife.”

In Praise of Truancy

On Friday, March 7, 2025, I officiated Juliana and Sacha’s wedding ceremony at the Marigny Opera House in New Orleans, Louisiana. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I don’t think I have begun these remarks with this type of statement before: Juliana and Sacha’s love story speaks to the benefits of truancy. I see the raised eyebrows. Stay with me. It will make sense in a moment. 

Sacha says, “In the fall semester of my sophomore year of college in 2014 is where I met my wife Julz. Every Thursday, one of my classes had a film screening on a culturally classic film. I would skip this class quite often to play some soccer with my friends in the Boston Gardens. During one of these sessions, a friend of ours said he invited this cool chick he met during one of his classes. When going down the path to the Gardens, I saw Julz…” 

Juliana speaks to the magic of that moment: “Sacha does not believe me but I swear it was love at first sight for me, when I saw him I immediately was drawn to him. From that moment I showed my interest in him, we became closer friends and long story short we got together at 19 and never looked back.”

The impression they made on each other was mutual. Sacha says, “One of the first things I noticed was her smile. I decided to sit out playing soccer and just sit down with her and her friends. We hit it off immediately and instantly loved her energy, I found myself wanting to be around her all the time. At one point, she didn’t have her phone for a week and I stopped by her room almost everyday to see if she was there and if not, I would leave her a post it note.”

From the beginning, her relationship with Sacha had a profound effect on Juliana and helped her find herself. She says: “I began college a semester later than Sacha, so I entered my freshmen year still searching for my friend group where I would fit in and have the space to discover and be my true authentic self. I took a semester off to rediscover who I was after high school, that semester off and my first semester at Emerson was a pivotal year of discovering who I wanted to be. I met Sacha my second semester of college and at that time I was feeling confident in who I was and proud of the work I have done. Meeting Sacha felt like a gift given to me for that journey and he solidified that dream of the woman I was becoming.”

That sense of mutual growth and self-actualization has never stopped. In that sense, this moment is a capstone to their love story. Juliana says: “Being with Sacha since I was 19 meant we have had many life moments together and grew together. We always knew we would get married and now getting closer to 30 we felt that it was time to celebrate all those years of love together and enter true adulthood to plan the rest of our lives.”

Sacha agrees: “We have now been together for over ten years and it's again another joyous chapter of my life. After being together for a third of our lives, getting to an age where adulthood felt cemented, it made sense to take the next step into our relationship; making it official not just in the eyes of the law, but through a joyful and spiritual celebration of our union with all of our friends and family. Ten years is quite an achievement and celebrating our love feels natural to us.”

Sacrificial Love

On Saturday, February 22, 2025, I officiated Crystal and Michael’s wedding ceremony at St. Stephen's Catholic Church in Midland, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Crystal and Michael stress threads common to both of their upbringings when they talk about their parents.

Michael says: “As a veteran of the Yom Kippur War, my father chose to raise his two sons in the US. My father was a hard worker and willing to make many sacrifices for his family. He received his dental license in Poland but drove a taxi when coming to the US to study for his licensing in the US. My father left an impression on me to work hard to achieve what you want even though it may not be the shortest path.”  

Crystal says: “My mom and dad worked really hard to provide for my brother and myself. They were so young and had many financial struggles. My dad became a licensed electrician to provide for his family and my mom worked as a bookkeeper at a bank… My parents always wanting better for my brother and me.”

This love that their parents showed towards them is what we would call sacrificial love, and this idea is common to both of their religious traditions. In Christianity this idea is quite obvious, and it is exemplified in Jesus’ sacrifice. In Judaism, we see an example of this in the mystical idea of tzimtzum, literally contraction or withdrawal, in which God whose presence is everywhere, contracts to make room for creation.

Sacrificial love is central to marriage. In marriage, two people, each with their own characteristics, their own strengths and weaknesses, come together to form a union grounded in love. However, in order to thrive, each must not only take sustenance from the marriage, but give of themselves, so the other might thrive, so that the new being that comes to life, their marriage, may succeed. 

Crystal and Michael, what we hope for you is that you continue to follow your parents’ lessons, and that you love for each other be emblematic of God’s love for you. In this, may you find true happiness.