Felt Safe

On Saturday, June 21, 2025, I officiated Anjali and Bobby’s wedding ceremony at the Four Seasons in Mexico City, Mexico. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Anjali and Bobby met through working at the same hospital. For five years their interactions were purely professional. Anjali liked what she saw: “I noticed early on he was quite shy and reserved but had a distinctly kind and genuine way about him. He wasn’t like most surgeons. There was no ego, he was not demanding and was quite respectful and understanding of some of the difficult decisions we often have to make in the OR. That alone is the way to an Anesthesiologists heart!”

Now how exactly they became a couple, I will leave that to Anjali and Bobby to fill you in on, but I will say it is one of those times when mothers know best.

Bobby describes the initial part of their relationship from his vantage point: “The first time we spent time with each other outside of work, it was like something clicked. She was easy to talk to, the conversation flowed, our senses of humor matched. I felt safe around her. I could be myself. The more I learned about her I saw that she is kind and caring. She has a generous spirit. She is thoughtful and introspective, something I value most.”

Anjali tells us what makes this relationship work: “Bobby, over the years, has exhibited the attributes that I have always hoped to find in a partner—he is kind, compassionate, patient, and loving. There is not a day in the past five years that I have not felt valued and truly understood, which is such a rare and precious feeling. The most important thing to me, though, is that he allows me to be myself. With him, I feel completely comfortable and accepted, without any pressure to be anything other than who I am. His love and support help me grow into the best version of myself, and I couldn’t imagine spending my life with anyone else.”

Bobby agrees: “Anajali brings out the better parts of me. We complement each other's strengths. We listen to each other and are able to compromise. We encourage each other, we make decisions together, and we are able to give and take constructive criticism. We have known each other long enough to be sure that what we have is a real commitment. Now we want to make the commitment official, and share it with our family and friends.”

Yahtzee!

On May 31, 2025, I officiated Kate and Josh’s wedding ceremony at the Pfister Hotel in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

When Kate was a child, she cut her sister Caroline’s hair off while playing pretend wedding, much to her mother’s dismay. Kate joked, “Caroline made a very good groom for a day, but I’m far more excited for my new and real groom, Joshua!”

In fact, humor has been a constant in Kate and Josh’s relationship from the start with Josh’s goofy dating app profile proudly stating, “Dad jokes are the best jokes.” 

Josh recounted to me: “We had our first date in a bar. I can still see her walking into the bar, praying it was her, and knowing without a doubt it was.” Along with the romance, there was a humorous aspect to this first encounter too. Kate and Josh had both lied about their heights with Josh adding an inch and Kate subtracting an inch.

Their shared sense of humor was even key to their relationship winning family approval. When Kate met Josh’s parents and brother Alex at the Met, Kate and Josh made puns back and forth the whole time, cracking each other up and making Josh’s family constantly roll their eyes. Josh’s parents said they knew Kate was the one for Josh because they had the same silly sense of humor. In turn, when Josh visited Kate’s family for the first time, he was a good sport regarding all the pranks they pulled on him.

Humor even factored into expressing their feelings for each other. One Sunday they were trying to figure out what game to play and Kate said, “I love Yahtzee!” Josh mistakenly heard, “I love you!” and was shocked, as they had not been together for long. Neither of them were quite ready to declare their love, but from then on they would say Yahtzee to each other in intimate moments. 

Later that year, Kate and Josh had gone to see a musical and ended up at a 24-hour diner. Kate looked at Josh all dressed up and started crying because she loved him so much. Kate said Yahtzee and Josh told Kate he loved her. They will never forget that sweet moment.

Since then, Kate and Josh have gone on many laughter-filled adventures and created a home filled with love and their adorable puppy, Lulu. 

Kate and Josh, what a sweet tale. What we wish for you is that you continue to share your humor and your love, and that it always feel as fresh as it did that night in the 24-hour diner. 

With that, let’s move on to your vows. Yahtzee!

You are Mine

On May 18, 2025, I officiated Liat and Trey’s wedding ceremony at The Windsor at Hebron Park in Carrollton, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Fun fact: The only person speaking the truth when they call Liat by her name is Trey. Li means mine, and at means you. Liat, therefore, means you are mine. 

When I think of that fact and of Liat and Trey’s relationship, a concept I never before had the words for comes to mind: Innocent excitement. 

What is innocent excitement? It describes a feeling of joyful anticipation or thrill that is pure, unburdened, and free from any ulterior motives or negative connotations.

It combines the purity associated with having no guilt, wrongdoing, or bad intentions, with the feeling of intense energy, anticipation, and enthusiasm.

This is well evident in how Liat and Trey speak of each other, their history together, and their relationship.  

Liat says, “There are several reasons why I want to marry Trey. First and foremost, Trey knows how to make me smile, he knows how to make me laugh so hard that my stomach hurts. Trey also knows how to make me feel safe. Trey has shown me that he loves me for me and doesn’t take me for granted. He has never judged me. He has always been there for me and has always loved me. I love you Trey with all of my heart. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

And Trey says, “There are several reasons why I would like to marry Liat.  First and foremost is her kind heart and devotedness toward me through thick and thin. She cares for and loves my whole family. She has never judged me for who I am.  She has guided me to be a better person…  Liat and I had a special bond.  Through all the turmoil I have gone through… she was and has always been there for me… I love you Liat with all my heart. I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Liat and Trey, what we wish for you is that your innocent excitement continue to manifest itself throughout your marriage. Through that, your bond will be unbreakable.

And Here They Stand

On Saturday, May 10, 2025, I officiated Alyse and Aaron’s wedding ceremony at the Dallas Arboretum (Jonsson Family Color Garden) in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Aaron uses very interesting language when he describes what happened when they got together: “I felt at ease with her almost immediately...” Hearing this, I couldn’t help but think of the words of Sarah McLachlan, “Loving you is easy, loving you is wondrous and pure.” If you know Alyse and Aaron, you know this speaks to their mutual love. 

Alyse, in words that Aaron could have written too, describes what this relationship has done for both of them: “I didn’t realize how much better everything would be when I got to do it with Aaron. I am so grateful we met as soon as we did, because now no amount of time feels like it could ever be enough.” Again, Sarah McLachlan’s words speak to this: “Oh the fury of desire, you burn so bright, electrify, you light me up, you take me higher.”

One of the best aspects of Alyse and Aaron’s relationship is their differences and how they have dealt with their differences. Not only do these differences between them not hurt their relationship. They enhance it. 

Aaron says: “We make each other better people. We have different skill sets, but we complement each other… Being with Alyse gives me a drive and sense of purpose that was missing.” This might be the most important thing we can do for each other. After all, as the Stoics remind us, though we mostly concern ourselves with health, wealth, and reputation, the only thing we really have control over is our virtue and the sense of purpose that our virtue can impart on us. 

Alyse sums it up: “I always said I would only marry someone if they were TRULY perfect for me…”

And here they stand.

That Deep Love

On Sunday, May 4, 2025, I officiated Kat and Billy’s wedding ceremony at Silo & Oak in Temple, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Kat says, “Billy and I met on May 5, 2023, after many close calls,” which sounds vaguely ominous, but I don’t think she meant it that way. 

Kat continues: “He was friends with my brother since 2018, and I would always hear the name ‘Lux’. Billy had… visited my parents’ house a few times… when I wasn’t around… I was looking forward to finally meeting Lux just to put a face to his name… Billy walked in, and his presence instantly attracted me. He engaged in a conversation with my dad… As he was about to leave, he asked me about the Cuban coffee I was preparing for myself and that became a two-hour conversation. I didn’t think much of it as I didn’t know his relationship status and he was stationed in Texas.”

Billy picks up the story from there: “In 2023, I took leave from flight school and went back to Miami for a graduation. While there I bought a truck and asked a friend to leave it at my house. That single event changed the course of my life. That night I met his sister and after hours of conversation, we both knew something was there.”

Billy continues: “Kat came to explore Austin and met me as her guide. I was showing her the Tanakh, the Hebrew Scriptures… I opened a random page as we discussed it and saw this verse: 

בִּטְח֘וּ־ב֤וֹ בְכׇל־עֵ֨ת ׀ עָ֗ם שִׁפְכֽוּ־לְפָנָ֥יו לְבַבְכֶ֑ם אֱלֹהִ֖ים מַחֲסֶה־לָּ֣נוּ סֶֽלָה׃”

Trust in Him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts before Him; God is our refuge.” 

I viewed it as a sign from above and took a leap of faith. Ever since that leap, we have both had a stronger connection than we could ever imagine.” Kat confirms: “I arrived to Texas as a single woman and left Texas in a relationship.”

Kat and Billy’s ethical spiritual beliefs are complementary. Billy says, “I try to live my life by my simple summation of the 10 commandments of ‘Don’t be an a**hole’. Everything I do, I try to do with consideration to not negatively impact anyone around me.” 

This is, in fact, the way the Ancient Rabbis discuss the Golden Rule. While Jesus uses the positive, do unto others as you would like done unto you, the Rabbis say, what you do not like done to you, do not do to others.

There is an important prerequisite to this, though. What if you don’t really like yourself? You might not care what people do to you, and thus your behavior towards others might suffer. This idea has been central to Kat’s thinking. She says, short and sweet: “Before I dedicated myself to any religion, I made sure I had a good relationship with myself.”

Kat and Billy, may you both continue to love yourselves love each other, and love others. May your conduct, in good times and in bad, emanate from that deep love.

Caring Nature

On Saturday, May 3, 2025, I officiated Alyssa and Steven’s wedding ceremony at the Westin Dallas Downtown in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

Alyssa and Steven’s story goes back years to when they met at the University of Kansas. (Go Jayhawks!) In fact, they were really just good friends for a while before their relationship took a romantic turn.

There is, however, one more recent story, emblematic of their entire relationship that shows that this relationship is special and that they have it made. In fact, this story is reminiscent of a story told about Rabbi Aryeh Levin, nicknamed Hatzadik Hayerushalmi, the Righteous Man of Jerusalem. 

One day Rabbi Aryeh and his wife showed up at the doctor’s office, and the doctor asked what was wrong. The rabbi replied, and this works much better in Hebrew, “We feel pain in my wife’s leg.” Note the exact phrasing; not “My wife feels pain in her leg.” WE feel pain. Rabbi Aryeh’s love for his wife was so great that he felt pain when she felt pain.

No one should have been surprised to hear this from Rabbi Aryeh because this was his general approach to humanity, in general. He was a selfless and caring man. It was no wonder that his approach to his wife would be such.

Steven says of Alyssa that she fits that bill: “I don’t think there is anyone that is more selfless and caring than Alyssa. Even when it makes no sense to me, she will put anyone else first, always lending a hand or making sure other people are taken care of. This is such an important trait for a person to have, and she embodies it to a T.”

And Alyssa tells the story I teased earlier: “One night recently, I cut my finger on a knife pretty bad when I was doing the dishes. He jumped to action to help wrap it up and stop the bleeding. He dropped everything. That night laying in bed, he started crying after I told him how bad my finger hurts. When I asked why he was crying, he told me “Because he I hate not being able to make it better for you. I don’t want you in pain.”

Alyssa and Steven, thank you for this important lesson about true love. May your caring nature for each other and others continue to manifest itself throughout your marriage.

Journey to Bashert

On Friday, May 2, 2025, I officiated Cara and Ross’s wedding ceremony at Firefly Gardens in Midlothian, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

I ask every person I marry to write an autobiographical essay. Very few of these are given a title. Ross’s essay is one of those few, and he uses a Yiddish word in it no less, “My Journey to Bashert.”  File that away for now. We will get back to it.

Cara zeroes in on a common problem today in America: “My sister and I moved to Dallas during Covid, and two weeks in I thought I’d made a huge mistake. We decided to get a puppy, which helped, but making friends as an adult proved to be harder than I’d thought. A friend of mine suggested downloading a dating app as a way to meet people.” 

Here is where it takes an unexpected turn: “Being a girl who listens to a lot of true crime, I wasn’t thrilled at the prospect of meeting a stranger from the internet. I was however, convinced, and the first date I agreed to (after quite a bit of online research, of course) was with Ross.”

Ross speaks to the nature of that first dates: “My life took a transformative turn the day I met Cara. I vividly remember seeing her for the first time as I waited outside of the Katy Trail Icehouse entrance to greet her on our first date. She was walking across the street in the wrong direction, clearly lost and confused (being new to the area), with a cute bubbly cadence and looked absolutely stunning. 

I called her to help navigate to the restaurant, where we met with a hug and laughed about the unconventional route she took to get there. I felt immediately drawn to her warmth, energy and sense of humor.”

Ross notes the special nature of that date: “Our first date was unlike any other… We were instantaneously comfortable with each other, and sat outside in the Texas summer heat for over 4 hours enthralled in deep conversation. It was inherently clear that I met someone special and I could not wait to see her again the moment we said goodbye.”

Cara says, “I called my friend immediately after, and she called it before anyone: I was going to marry this man. Now, I can’t believe there was ever a time I didn’t have Ross in my life. Though it’s just been three and a half years, I feel like in that time so much has changed, and I really love the people we are today.” 

Ross agrees. He says, “The decision to propose to Cara was driven by my inability to imagine life without her. She is the first thing I think about when I wake up, and my last thought before I fall asleep with hopes she will be in my dreams.”  

Back to what we started with. Ross says, “When I told Cara’s Grandpa Bobby that I was going to propose, he was filled with joy and taught me the Yiddish term ‘bashert’.” Indeed, bashert is usually interpreted as meant to be, in general, or more specifically when referring to our romantic relationships, as soulmate. I love this interpretation, but it misses one thing, and that is our action and our free will. 

I believe a more nuanced view is necessary. Fate or luck or the universe may bring us to certain crossroads in our lives, but if we just leave it there, we won’t get far. What we need to do, in many things great or small, is to take that fate and through our actions forge it into destiny.

This is what Cara and Ross have done. As Ross says, “Our partnership has deepened immensely over time through meaningful experiences and overcoming obstacles, which have both taught us how to love each other to the fullest extent. While the ups and downs are both better with Cara, the “normal” days are just as meaningful to me.” 

Cara agrees, and she says: “I really love the people we are today. We’ve weathered a few hiccups, celebrated so many accomplishments, and worked really hard to build each other up as we’re creating a really beautiful life… I cannot wait to make the commitment of my lifetime to the love of my life in front of all of our closest friends and family, to step into the next chapter of life and getting to love Ross for the rest of my life.”