Sunday, June 3, 2018

Scream from the Rooftops

Saturday evening, I officiated Allison and Adam’s wedding ceremony, at the Omni Hotel, in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

One of the great things about being a rabbi is that I can ask questions that coming from other people might sound like an inappropriate question, and people will just chalk it up to my being a rabbi. And, I’m staying for the reception, so watch out... Seriously, though, I always ask every person I marry to write an autobiographical essay, and I always ask that they articulate why they want to get married and why now?

Allison says she wants to marry Adam because, “He is the other half of my soul. When I am with him I am my best self. He challenges me daily to be better mentally and emotionally. He is my best friend and I can’t imagine my life without him.” And why now? “Because the term boyfriend or fiance are not enough to truly describe what Adam is to me. I want him to be my husband and be able to use that term because that is exactly what Adam is, my husband, my soulmate, my partner in life. Allison says the love she feels for Adam falls nothing short of wanting to, “Scream from the rooftops.”

And, why does Adam want to marry Allison? He says, “I want to marry Allison because I can’t imagine experiencing life without her. She has this unique passion and energy for life that is contagious. (That may explain the screaming part! - DSG) Allison shares the same values as I do, and she supports me in all aspects of life. She makes me want to push myself to grow individually and as a partner (while loving me with all my faults), and at the same time wants to keep growing in those aspects herself. Allison is kind, thoughtful, compassionate, warm, capable and, the icing on the cake, she just so happens to be incredibly gorgeous.”

What Adam is telling us is that together they make up something that is greater than the sum of its parts, because they make each other want to improve. And Allison adds this, “We know that we need to take care of ourselves and our relationship in order for it to grow.” There, she hits the nail on the head. A successful marriage depends not only on caring for each other and bettering each other. It depends on both people working to care for and better that third entity: the marriage itself. If you are cognizant of that fact, and you keep it front and center, the inevitable trials become easier, and the good times become great. And that, my friends, is most definitely worth screaming about from the rooftops...

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