Sunday, October 30, 2016

Big Deal!

Saturday evening, I co-officiated Claire and Kace's wedding ceremony with Dr. George Mason, at the Four Seasons Dallas at Las Colinas, in Irving, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

It's interesting; we find ourselves in the midst of struggle. And in some ways the point of disagreement at the core of this struggle, is the question of how much control do we really have over our fates. Is success to be attributed mostly to us and our talents? Is failure utterly our fault and worthy of derision? Or perhaps, we must be more humble, and recognize that so much of our good fortune and great privilege, is beyond our control. Perhaps, we must recognize that, conversely, there, but for the grace of God, or karma or luck, go we.

Claire and Kace, and how they came to stand before us here today, remind us of that. After all, it's not that when Claire first lay her eyes on Kace, she was not thinking of him as a good mate. She just didn't think he was a good mate for her...

Listen to Claire in her own words (you really can't make this stuff up...): "Initially, I thought Kace would be the perfect match for my sweet friend, Cori. He was charismatic, unapologetically himself and made everyone around him feel special." She thought she might have some convincing to do, because of, well, Kace's approach during that initial meeting: "I think originally, Kace was trying to network and looking for the next 'big deal'..." She tried to make the match, but was ultimately unsuccessful. "Eventually... I realized there wasn’t a love connection between Cori and Kace. As a failed matchmaker, he ultimately wore me down and asked me on a date…"

Now, Kace picks up the story from here, and with Claire's parents standing so close, he definitely deserves points for honesty: "I can remember telling my dad I was going on a date that night, and he asked, 'Do you really like her?' I responded by telling him, 'Not really. I kind of just feel like taking a girl out to a nice dinner.' [Is this guy a hopeless romantic or what?] We went to Oak for dinner in the Design District, and my views quickly changed. I was immediately attracted to her intelligence, self-confidence, humor, and honesty. I had never found another girl like that, and I still have not."

Now, he definitely redeems himself at the end there, and though we might laugh at the comedy of errors that began with Claire's lackluster matchmaking and continued with Kace's quickly to evaporate cluelessness about the prize he had landed, again, there is a profound message here. Obviously, in all areas of life, we must put one foot in front of the other, and try our best. However, some of the best things in life come to us by no merit of our own. (And, hopefully, as few times as possible for each of us, the converse is true.)

And, so when a wonderful thing happens to us, like Claire realizing that Kace is HER match, like Kace realizing mid-date, that this ONE is different, we are obliged not to be matter-of-fact about it. We are called upon to be joyously thankful and appreciative for the invisible hand of luck or providence guiding us towards that for which we hold no given claim.

Claire, however, says it much better than I ever could, "I guess you could say that Kace stumbled into my life and never quite left. Loud, clumsy, loyal, overly comfortable in a way that often makes me uncomfortable, he is the most genuine, kind and amazing person that I have ever met. Little did Kace know, the day we met he did find a BIG DEAL… a wife!"

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