Sunday, April 22, 2012

The Answers to Life's Most Complicated Questions

Kelly and Colter are two of the most gentle souls I have met. They are really deep thinkers too. The rest you can read ahead in my personal remarks to them at their wedding yesterday:

There is a great and holy book called, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy". In it we are told of a supercomputer, which is asked, "What is the meaning of life?" After working on the question for 7.5 million years, it comes up with the answer. Now, the geeks in the audience already know the answer. That's right. 42. BTW, if you do not get the humor, that's OK. During the reception, just ask one of my fellow geeks. About 45 minutes later, you may actually be able to start eating.

What the Guide is tackling here through satire is the very quandary most religions have dealt with for eons. Seriously, what is the meaning of life? We, as humans, ask that question, in general. We ask that about specific things too. What is the meaning of this or that specific occurrence? What many of us often forget is that there is no app for that. It isn't that there are no easy answers. There are many, and they are quite popular. It is just that none of them are true.

This is an area that I find that Kelly and Colter, are a little bit ahead of the rest of us. To put it simply, they don't "do" easy. They don't succumb to the popular. They have no use for the one size fits all answers. They realize that there is nothing wrong with the complicated and the messy. In fact, they realize, the true essence of truth is only to be found there within the contours of the complex.

Kelly and Colter realize that though there are some black and whites in life, most of it is gray. They understand that the implication is that each of us has to look deep into our hearts to find the answers to life's most complicated questions. They understand that that is why each of us may reach slightly different answers, and that that is not only OK; it is actually kind of wonderful.

This is why their relationship is so loving, so close, so special. You see for any relationship to work, especially marriage, one has to realize the following: Sure, there are some universal truths out there. Reading a book or two about marriage from the self help section of the bookstore is certainly a great idea. However, don't try to find the recipe for a successful marriage with a supercomputer. There is no app for that. The secret to a successful marriage is in your heart, not your handheld. It is mostly complicated, and it can get pretty messy. That said, if you embrace its messiness, if you can revel in its complexity, just like Kelly and Colter do, you just might have the secret to the true meaning of marital life.

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