What is Love?

Sunday evening, Reverend Kenneth Meadows and I co-officiated Bethany and Scott’s wedding ceremony at the Hickory Street Annex, in Dallas, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

What is love? It’s a question asked by that early 90s pop song by Haddaway that deserves to be forgotten, and by that 2015 R&B song by V. Bozeman that tugs at your heartstrings. Above all, it’s a question that every couple really needs to answer for themselves. It’s also a question to which there is necessarily more than one answer.

How do I know? No, not from seven years of intense yeshiva study. Rather because I watched Sesame Street. As a child. (I had to clarify that one!) I remember watching Sesame Street, back in the late 70s, when one of the humans explained to one of the puppets that love existed in different forms. There was love of your romantic partner, love of your family members, love of your friends. I don’t remember if it was implicit or explicit, but it was clear that there was also love of other humans and animals too. And right before or after Sesame Street, Mr. Rogers definitely drove this home, along with his clear message of love of self.

Bethany and Scott clearly exhibit this understanding of love in their lives. Bethany tells us that her parents met in ministry, and that consequently, through word and deed “the importance of contributing to the world around you,” was clearly instilled in her. And, though, while the only acceptable professions we as Jewish parents see for our children are doctor, lawyer, and accountant, Scott’s choice to become not only a doctor, but an otolaryngologist (I had to practice that word!) makes it clear that he approaches his life with that same sense of mission Bethany had instilled in her.

Now, it goes without saying that these two are madly in love with each other. However, Bethany and Scott also understand one more very important aspect of love I learned from those iconic children’s shows. I love how Bethany put it. “It’s not loving the person when it’s easy,” she says, “Anyone can do that. It’s loving the person even when it’s hard. That is real commitment.”