I ask every person I marry
to write an autobiographical essay, which serves as the raw material for these
remarks. Sometimes, what they write is so powerful, the remarks almost write
themselves. This is one of those cases.
Listen to how they describe
their feelings for and gratitude towards each other. Malise says, “I have never
met a man like Adam. He is one of the most patient, understanding, and kind
people I have ever met. Having only met him three months after I moved to New York
And Adam says, “I want to
marry Malise because she makes me a better and happier person… She makes me
laugh, accepts all of my quirks, stimulates me intellectually, and forces me to
always try to improve myself… I… can tell she'll be an incredible
mother…”
How do you get there? The
answer is almost too simple: Open and clear communication, coupled with respect
for the other person’s autonomy. Malise and Adam are explicit about this. Adam
says: “We… have had a very upfront and communicative relationship… (We are)
both… fairly opinionated and stubborn… but… we… discuss things openly and
calmly with one another and respect each other’s thoughts. To me this is one of
the key reasons we get along so well.”
Malise agrees: “We have
talked a lot about our future life together… how we want to keep open and
constant communication… neither of us expect the other to change… who they are
for each other.”
That’s why Adam says, “Given
how open we have always been with each other… I believe we're ready to get
married now… we look forward to embarking on that journey together really as
soon as possible.”
And it is this clarity that
drives Malise to say, “I believe it wholeheartedly when each of us says we will
be together forever… He is simply the perfect match for me… There is no better
time than now to start our next chapter.”
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