Now, not to go all meta on you, but why might someone write their story in the third person, and why did Arland and Stan do this specifically? Well, meeting with this couple and reading their essays, I got a distinct sense that they really like their story, individually and as a couple. They are in a "great place" each in his and her own skin, as well as together. And so reflecting, looking back, reminiscing about their stories from the vantage point of the present, is just pure fun.
This is one of the reasons I love working with couples that are like me, seasoned. (Don't call us old. We are not. We are not young either.) These couples are by no means tabula raza, which if you are not up on your Latin means plain and boring (not really). They have had some experiences, they have lived a little, and maybe lost once or twice too. They are anything BUT plain and boring.
There is a correlate however, that must come along with the "seasoning". And that is, once again, how do you tell your story, to yourself and to others? How do you look back on your experiences, on all of that living you have done? If you can look back with a smile, and say, "What a ride!" it won't change the past good and bad, but it will enrich the present and the future beyond belief. It will make every aspect of your life better, especially if you are lucky enough to have found someone to tell that story with.
And when I interact with Arland and Stan, and when I read what they write about each other, that is exactly and wonderfully where they are! Arland, for instance, writes that Stan is, "a very kind, gentle, generous man, and a puppy rescuer (of more than one little furry animal)—but I think the cooking won me over for sure!" And Stan writes about Arland, "
(yes, third person AND full name) met the most amazing woman, and fell head
over heels for her. He quickly realized how wonderful she was and how much they
had in common. Perfect in every way. Arland even enjoys a glass of chocolate
wine... or two, once in a while." Stanley
It is this healthy approach towards living a life richly and viscerally, that enables you to write your own perfect imperfect story together. And so, Stan ends his essay, with a sentiment Arland shares too, and which speaks to a rich future: "Life is short.
forward to the wedding and looks forward to a happy healthy future with Arland;
growing old and enjoying every minute of what their future has in store for