Sunday, June 21, 2015

A Faithful Home

Saturday afternoon I officiated Heather and Tim’s wedding ceremony on the beach in Crystal Beach, Galveston, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:

In Israel, where I grew up, when a couple tells you they are engaged, the customary response is,  "תבנו בית נאמן"May you build a faithful home." Now, I realize questioning idiomatic phrases does not always make sense, but should an implicit question, at least be, "How do we do THAT?" How do you build a faithful home? I believe if we analyze how Heather and Tim built their relationship, we might just have the answer.

I have often thought before, that our children and certainly our grandchildren will find it extremely odd, if someone tells them they did NOT meet their mate online. "What? You met him without Tweeting each other first?! You weren't even friends on Facebook?! Seriously?!" Heather and Tim are in that sense ahead of their time.

As Tim describes so well: "Heather and I met one another in an online format. We communicated with one another for approximately one month via email, text and phone prior to our first meeting. I believe that this time to get to know one another, albeit not in person, afforded us the opportunity to share a great deal about ourselves and draw initial conclusions regarding our compatibility, without physical attraction playing a major role in our initial impressions of one another. Although I will say that she did look pretty hot in the pictures that she sent to me."

Of course, advance preparation is vital, but not sufficient. As Heather and Time built their relationship, they invested time in having fun, in enjoying the good things together, and in just enjoying togetherness. In dealing with challenges life has thrown at them, they have been there for each other too, supporting each other, and not being reticent of being supported either. Equally as important, they have created an environment where their could get to know, appreciate and love each other and each other's companionship.

Finally, they have openly shared their faith traditions with each other, as they do in this ceremony. As Tim recounts, "As we have grown in our relationship, we have had in depth conversations regarding our religious beliefs and have had opportunities to share insight as to how these beliefs have shaped our personalities and outlook on life." This sharing has led to, in Tim's words, "a respect and genuine interest in getting to know, and accompanying each other to our respective religious services."

So, there you have it. How do you build a בית נאמן , a faithful home? Prepare for and build your relationship in advance and as you get to know each other, revel in your companionship, and support each other in your challenges. Finally, share your inner self and truly learn about your mate's inner self. It worked for Heather and Tim, and it can work for you too...

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