Sunday, December 14, 2014

Truly a We

This last Saturday (12/13) I officiated Deanna and Matt's wedding ceremony at the Scottish Rite Temple, in Dallas, Texas. Here are the personal remarks I shared with them and their guests:

From my first communication with Deanna, I was struck by her poise, grace and maturity, so much so, that I expected her to be chronologically older than I found her to be. Her deep thinking  and her approach to the world seem to bely her age. She is just ahead of the pack.

Similarly, impressive sideburns aside, when Matt describes his life experiences, having studied, fought for our country overseas and now continuing to serve in a civilian capacity in his work with FEMA, it seems puzzling how he has done all of those things already, as young as he really is.

Now what I say about Deanna and Matt may seem strange in light of the narrative some of us have adopted about their generation. Oh, those Millennials, no work ethic, no sense of responsibility, every one of them expects a participation trophy, blah blah blah, tsk tsk tsk.

Deanna and Matt are just such a fine example of the positive attributes that many in this interconnected new generation bring to the table. They really think about the "we", rather than just the "me me me".

Deanna and Matt are both tremendously reflective. They have engaged in deep thought about who they are, what they are, and what they believe in. They have not shied away from taking bold stances and making uncomfortable choices, when they were the right stances to take and the right decisions to make.

At the same time, they have been tremendously thoughtful and considerate of those around them, and of how their choices impact others. In other words they have shied away from a winner take all, zero sum game approach, and have preferred a win-win ethic. Not me, me, me, but we.

And you see that in the interactions they have with each other. These two are best friends and true partners. They work together as a team, and they complement each other's strengths and weaknesses. She is a little hard on herself, he is more of a "go with the flow" guy. She is passionate and compassionate, he is more reserved and calm. And these qualities mutually rub off on each of them. They are truly a we. And as a we, they continue to learn and laugh together, knowing that in loving each other and in the mutual love they share with you, their family and friends, they have found the ultimate happiness.

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