Monday, March 18, 2013
Even Though I Lost the Bet, I Won the Love of My Life
Yesterday, Sunday 3/17, Father Court Moore and I co-officiated Shannon and David's wedding at their favorite bar, Hat Tricks in Lewisville, Texas. Here are the remarks I shared with them and their guests:
I love hearing couples' life stories, especially stories about how they met. There are often lessons to be learned, when reflecting on those foundational moments of a relationship, particularly in how couples describe these moments. Since this very venue plays a part in Shannon and David's story, it seems especially opportune to focus on this.
Here is David's description:
"I was again at Hattricks and saw Shannon there. I made it a point to strike up some sort of conversation with her, and after a short time we figured out that we went to rival schools (Sam Houston for me and Stephen F. Austin for her). The big rival game was a couple of weeks away from our first meeting, and we made a bet on who would win. The loser of the bet had to treat the other to dinner. I ended up “losing” the bet and treated Shannon to a home cooked meal, I make a mean chicken, rice and broccoli dinner. Even though I lost the bet, I won the love of my life."
Think about that last sentence, "Even though I lost the bet, I won the love of my life." Wow. I think that is really deep. You see, we live in a society, that sees itself as a market economy. One might say that the greatness of our country, and the power of our nation is due to the fact that we have embraced capitalism, where there are inevitably winners and losers.
However, what we sometimes forget is that though there is nothing wrong with our economy being market based, our lives, our relationships, and our values should not be. What Shannon and David remind us is that in our lives we cannot have a winner takes all approach. What Shannon and David remind us is that in our relationships, we should remember that there is no room for zero sum games. What Shannon and David remind us is that when it comes to our values, we should always strive not for a win, but for a win-win. That is because especially in our married lives, if we both don't win, we both lose.
Now, one thing that Shannon and David share is that they tremendously value the example their parents gave them in this area. They say that they learned how to how to live as partners, where everyone wins, from their parents.
So, Shannon and David, what we wish for you is that you continue to live your lives in this fashion, and provide the same type of wonderful example for your offspring after you.