This last weekend I co-officiated Iris and Ben’s wedding at the beautiful Moon Palace Resort in Cancun, Mexico with Father Benito Aguilar. Hurricane Rina endeavored to disrupt the celebrations, but she didn’t stand a chance. BTW, this is one of the smartest couples I have ever met. Iris has an MBA from Harvard, and Ben has an MBA from MIT. They are not only intelligent, but really fun too. Here are the words I shared with them and their guests:
Iris and Ben share a very deep bond of love with each other. At the same time they are two very different people. They come from different backgrounds, cultures and faiths. Not only that their basic demeanor is strikingly different. Iris says that people often tell her that she is the happiest person they have ever met, while Ben could have written the old telegram once set by a Jewish mother in a hurry, “Start worrying now, details to follow…” So, how do they make it work? What is the secret of their deep abiding love?
Well, first, the premise of the question, though natural for us as human beings to ask, is slightly mistaken. If we are to imagine that there is someone out there that would be perfect just for us, why on earth would that person be like us? After all, each of us has strengths and weaknesses, and if anything, that person, who is best for us, ideally should help us, as we help them, become mutually complete. In that sense, that person would almost have to be very different.
There are, however, two important components that need to be there for all these moving parts to work – communication and planning. This is where, I believe, Iris and Ben excel and teach us a valuable lesson. Though they may sometimes disagree regarding who has the better approach, Harvard or MIT, these two know a thing or two about solving problems and managing projects. As such, they took time, constantly and openly communicating, as they developed their relationship, to deeply think about how to make it successful, and accordingly to carefully plan their future together.
Iris and Ben, as you embark on this new phase in your life, continue to embrace your differences, revel in how you complement each other, and keep excelling at lovingly communicating. Through this, may you find complete and ongoing happiness.