This last Saturday I co-officiated Brooke and Casey’s wedding in Durango, Colorado, with Pastor Dave Robinson, who I am proud now to count as a good friend. This is a very impressive couple. Brooke is a successful attorney, and Casey is a graduate of the Air Force Academy, who served our country for five years in the military. (Many at the wedding had attended military colleges, including the best man, who delivered his speech via recorded video address from Kirgizstan!) Pastor Dave is an old friend of the family, and an impressive humanitarian, who travels the world helping those in need. Here are the personal words I shared with Brooke and Casey and their guests:
Someone once asked me, "Rabbi, why do you frequently, answer a question with a question?" I thought about it for a moment, and I said, "Well, why not?"
Seriously, though, people often think that religions exist to answer their questions. Some even think that their religion gives them all the answers. They forget that the words attributed to the founders of most of today's religions show that they, challenging the status quo, had way more questions than answers. It was the only way they thought people could grow – if they constantly questioned themselves.
This is an attribute that Brooke and Casey share, and can teach us all. Brooke openly talks about her spiritual journey that is replete with questioning. She talks about how through a journey of questioning and exploration she and Casey have mutually grown together. Casey, in turn, gives Brooke the greatest compliment a man (we are a little more set in our ways than women are) can give to a mate, "She takes me out of my comfort zone... She makes me a better partner." He too discusses how they have learned so much from each other.
Brooke and Casey, we hope that you continue down this very path. Some might tell you that the most important words in marriage are, "Yes, dear." I actually think that the sentence needs to be more cerebral and a little longer. (I am a clergyman, after all...) It should be, "That's a great question! Why don't we try it that way?" Keep doing that, and your bond will be unbreakable.